Healing, comforting, peaceful. This altar, on top of our wood stove in our living room, in honor and memory of sweet Kylie. 

The photo of Kylie, John and I received this week from my mom who enhanced it digitally and through a coral paint program she works with.

I love the green background she painted digitally which I feel speaks to the spirit of Kylie. When I brought the painting home on Thursday after having lunch with my mom and showed it to John he said, “Awe, Kiwi.”  And then with his finger he stroked her ear.

Such a tender moment, and exactly what I did when my mom presented it to me. John and I always commented on how soft her ears were and oftentimes referred to them as her “flaps” in a loving way.

It occurred to me as I was writing to my mom to share with her John’s reaction, the connection between the beautiful green background and that the inside of Kiwi fruit is that same shade of green. Like many nicknames, how do they come about? Usually with no real reason and Kiwi was the one that stuck, and we often called Kylie. But it was that green that was calling to me to learn more.

So this morning I looked up the symbolism of the color green and took from it what resonated for me:

It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. It has great healing power and is the most restful color for the human eye.

So much of this speaks to integrating the loss of Kylie and the new way in which we are learning to move forward with her in spirit. Some days the tears come unexpectedly and it all still feels so fresh – like when our tax bill came yesterday with the reminder that her license was also due.

I let the tears come when they do because with that there is growth and healing.

And a few more came last night sitting in the living room, catching up with John talking about our day. But my heart feels warm with love for her too and remembering that this is how I can connect with her at any time – by just bringing the thought of her to my mind, and bask in the essence of who she was and will always be – this brings peace and harmony to my heart.

P.S. And I just remembered…I shared with my mom that I began practicing on my beautiful Native American flute she gifted me, the song, Silent Night. I’d like to get it as good as I can by Christmas. And she said the sweetest thing and that I could play it for Kylie and she knows she will hear it. Now that really touched my heart. So I’m off now to practice some more. 

Much love and gratitude,

Barbara