As I shared in an interview I did on Tuesday which will air in October during the Animal Communication Summit, I believe we heal in layers. The animals have certainly been my guides time and time again helping me through each layer.
This past spring I’d come to realize I’d not fully mourned the fact I’ll never have children in this lifetime. While I’d thought I’d healed this fully, there were still lingering fragments. Another layer was calling to be released.
As I took the time to really be with this and allow more feelings to move through me, it was one day I was sitting in my meditation chair that I witnessed a sparrow perched in the shrub outside my studio window. Her beak full of nesting materials, she was getting ready to take flight to a nearby birdhouse to fluff her nest.
This released a flood of emotions as tears rolled down my cheeks. Motherhood, such a sacred and beautiful endeavor, but not all are called to fulfill this purpose. In a culture that highly values Motherhood, as I do also, it has been difficult at times to not “fit in” in this way.
But through another layer of grieving I landed in a much more peaceful place and have accepted that it wasn’t meant to be.
Through this process I felt called to write down what I was feeling. And from that came a poem (below.) Also from that came the idea to create a 3-dimensional piece of animal oracle art which I sold to a lovely woman who also didn’t have children. Kindred spirits are we in this way and I know many others can relate too.
And now, I’ve created an 8 x 10 print combining the art and the poem that is available here on my website.
Gazing out the window
allowing another layer
of grief
to come to the surface
and move through me
without constraint
for the children
I will never have
is when I saw her.
A Sweet Sparrow
perched on the branch
of a tree not yet in bloom
her beak full
of nesting materials.
Soon to take flight
back to her home
to build a nest
for the impending birth
of her tiny fledglings.
Who after weeks of motherly love and care
will take flight
into the world
to explore, and if meant to be
will create new life too.
And Mama Sparrow
having completed her sacred task
of adding to this earth
the exquisite beauty of life
leaves a loving legacy
that not every being is
called to do.
And the tears
roll down my face
for what I won’t experience
in this lifetime.
But then a realization
that just like
the gamut of
different species
of birds
are the profusion of
emotions that can take
space in our psyche
holding us hostage
until we find the courage
to really feel them
and then let them go.
That we come to understand
we too
those without children
leave a legacy
in our own unique way
that also adds to the
the universe in a beneficial
and beautiful way too.
©Barbara Techel
XO
Barb
