animal spirits

The Last Day… On Really Being with a Pet in Transition

Posted by Barbara Techel

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Recently, reading a friend’s blog who will likely soon lose her beloved Lab, Fred, and who wrote a beautiful poem about this time of transition, I decided I wanted to write about this topic today.

While it’s hard to say goodbye and lose our pets who are so much a part of our family, I do think if we can find a way to make that last day as special as possible, in the long run, I believe it can help in our own healing.

At least this has been the case for me. So I wanted to share some insight as to how I did this in hopes it will help others. I also realize some are not able to do this as death can be sudden and there wasn’t time.

I’ve written about my last day with Frankie in my book, Through Frankie’s Eyes and my experience with saying goodbye to her— the dog who changed me in a profound way.

When I think back on that day verses the day I said goodbye to my chocolate Lab, Cassie Jo, seven years before, I’m so glad I took the approach I did this time around.

That last day with Frankie, while difficult to not get lost in the impending physical loss from my life, as I did with Cassie Jo, I chose to honor the time I had left with her.

I didn’t do this with Cassie Jo, but instead was swallowed up by how devastated I felt that she was leaving soon. All I could do was cry and before I knew it, she was gone. I was left with regret and wishing I had took the time to really be with her on that last day.

While yes, grief is normal and we all have to grieve in our own way, from my experience, I am left feeling better about having really made a conscious choice to be in the present moment with Frankie as she got ready to transition. There was such a huge gift in that for me personally.

Here is what I did–

So much of our time together was spent out in my writing cottage so that is where I chose to be with her.

I played soothing music.

I lit candles.

I sat with her, holding her in my arms.

I inhaled into my consciousness the smell of her.

I told her how much I loved her.

I took photos of her with John. He took photos of me with Frankie.

I thanked her for helping me become a better human being.

I thanked her for all the lives she touched.

I thanked her for choosing me to be her partner in helping spread a positive message about pets diagnosed with disc disease and dogs in wheelchairs.

I sat in silence with her.

I arranged for my vet to come to my home, so she would be in the place she loved best, and in the arms of the one she felt most secure.

I trusted in what I believe – that animals aren’t afraid to die.

I trusted in what I believe and that  I will see her again someday.

I trusted that her spirit would find its way.

I trusted I did all I could for her.

I trusted that her work was done and that I would be okay without her.

I held her in my arms as she was eased from her pain.

I kissed her soft snout one last time and gave thanks for her beautiful life.

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There are many ways in which you can be in the moment that last day depending on the health of your pet. Perhaps a walk on their favorite path or playing in a favorite place. Perhaps giving them their favorite treat. Maybe reading them a favorite poem.

For me, it came down to making every effort to be conscious of every single moment left. And to do it in a way that honored all that Frankie was to me. When I think back on it today, I smile, and find peace in it, not sadness. But a gratefulness she was a part of my life.

When I had to say goodbye to Joie it was more sudden as she was in a great deal of pain. But recalling how I had handled things with Frankie, I was able to approach Joie’s end of life in much the same way, just in a shorter amount of time.

As I reflect on this, it is again for me, the conscious choice of being in those present moments, no matter how short or long, that have made a difference as I moved on without them.

I also believe their spirits live on and for that I find a great deal of comfort too. So for me, they are never really gone – just transformed to another realm of where I trust and believe they are well and happy. And that in turn makes me happy and grateful.

For those that the death of a pet is sudden, I believe you can still do something as a way to honor your pet.

-You can create an altar.

-Play soothing music.

-Create a special album of photos.

-Light candles.

-Talk out loud or in your mind thanking your pet, telling them how much they meant to you.

-Sit in silence and meditate.

-Recall fun and happy memories.

-Give thanks for how much they had a positive affect on your life.

-Journal your feelings or write a poem about what they meant to you.

-Talk with an animal communicator (I did this before Frankie passed and since I didn’t have much time with Joie, I did this after Joie passed away. Both times provided helpful insight).

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Everyone will be different, but I think finding a way  that feels right to you as you go through this transition is what matters and can help the healing process in the long run.

A book I often recommend to others is by Jon Katz, Going Home, Finding Peace When Pets Die.

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From Jon’s book and what our dogs might leave with us as a final thought (just a portion of what he wrote):

By for now, you must know that there is always a goodbye hovering in the shadow of a dog. We are never here for long, or for long enough. We were never meant to share all of your life, only to mark its passages. We come and we go. We come when we are needed. We leave when it is time. Death is necessary. It defines life…

Thank you. It was nothing but a gift. 

And finally I ask these things of you:

Remember me.

Celebrate me.

Grieve for me.

And then, when you can, let me go, freely and in peace.

When you are ready, do me the great honor of bringing another dog into your life, so you can give and receive this gift again.

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What if We All Along We Were Just Supposed to “Be?”

Posted by Barbara Techel

2014-04-24 14.06.26Won’t you come sit and just be with me?

As you know, I call Gidget my Buddah Dog. I continue to be quite fascinated as I journey down this road called life and realize how the right dog was here for me for what I needed then. Gidget is so perfect for me and where I am at in my life right now.

I’ve opened myself more and more to the teachings of my dogs and animals, which has meant for me delving into animal communication more, reading books on the subject and recently hosting a teleseminar with animal communicator, Dawn Baumann Brunke. You can listen to the replay here if you missed it.

As you may also know, I’ve had readings done with Dawn talking with Joie, Frankie, Gidget and Kylie. Each one revealing something about me that I needed healing for, something I needed to work on, or a glimpse further into who I am. I’m really starting to truly understand how very connected we all really are.

Dog’s and all animals, aren’t busy “doing,” and worrying about what is next. But rather, they really seem to get this just “being” concept that seems so challenging for humans to grasp. Okay, granted, they don’t have to make money to support themselves and pay bills. But the more I learn about animals and how they live each moment, I feel like the All American Dream of achieving success in terms of material things and social status was all a very big myth.

What if we truly are meant to just “be.” What if that has been the big test all along for we mere humans? When I think about the definition of the All American Dream I think of having an expensive car, a big house, lots of nice clothes and a corporate job. Then I think about what I would need to do to achieve and keep all of that.

Don’t get me wrong, this may be for some, it just isn’t for me. And there’s nothing wrong with a big house, nice car, etc. I just don’t care for the trade off of what that potentially means, is all I’m saying. It feels too stressful to me and too far from what I believe “being” is about.

I’ve been in that place of getting lost in that dream. Striving, striving, striving. Busy, busy, busy. And then I forgot who I was. What it was that really brought me joy. My chocolate Lab, Cassie stopped me in my tracks as if I’d been slammed against the side of the head, when she was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. The reality was that my heart shattered in a million pieces. I was terrified of losing her.

But the last leg of her journey for eight months of living with cancer turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise for me. I stopped doing, doing, doing. I Thought. I Observed. I Pondered… and I found my way back to the center of me. The center of being.

Am I always at this center of being? No, of course not. It’s a daily observation of awareness that I’ve learned to listen to more carefully. For me, it’s a more deliberate way of thinking about what I want for my everyday life. Yoga helps me with this. My new practice of meditation is really helping me with this. But most of all, really being with my dog’s, taking in their wisdom of just sitting our walking with them, is a beautiful reminder. I love to soak in those moments. The more I do, the more I want. The more I want to “be.”

Another Animal Message Came to Me While in Tree Pose.

Posted by Barbara Techel

owl_3It’s becoming utterly fascinating to me what I’ve been noticing around me lately. I have to say, I love being open and having more of the “unexplained” finding its way to me. The more it happens, the more I want!

First of all, just two days ago I began an e-course called The Sacred Alone. Each morning before I practice yoga I am incorporating this sacred alone time.  Five minutes of reading an essay, five minutes of a guided meditation, followed by ten minutes of writing in my journal from a prompt that is provided.

After The Sacred Alone, I randomly pick a Grace card. For the second day in a row I chose “Surprises” which says, “Keep an open mind. The influence of grace is often found in unexpected places.” As I read this again after writing this, it is hitting home even more for me  and my next experience I had while practicing yoga.

Half way through my yoga I do tree pose, which I just can’t get enough of. I could stand in it all day!  Today as I did, I put my focus on a tree outside my window. I’ve done this before and have often times seen the shape of a heart in the tree bark. Not today.

Today I saw the shape of an owl! After I was done with my practice, I immediately went to my deck of Animal Wisdom Tarot cards to look up owl’s message for me.

In part it says “owl is the keeper of the light representing solitude, introspection, enlightenment and wisdom. Owl’s appearance may indicate a need for solitude or retreat—perhaps a vision quest or quiet time alone in self-reflection. Owl urges us to abandon distraction and explore the depths of our being. Indeed, to know our true self, to uncover the brilliant, dark secrets we hide inside, requires patience, commitment, and tenacity.”

“Time to refresh and renew your inner self, so you may return to the world enlightened, shining as a beacon for others. Owl helps you to see the truth of the person you really are.”

This gave me goosebumps!  Then when I tied it in with picking the grace card, “Surprises” and being open to to grace in unexpected places, wow, my whole insides were a flutter with excitement.

So often I wish I had all these animals in “real” form to bring me a message when I need one. Never did I give thought to how they can come in different ways, like seeing the shape of an owl in the tree bark.

It is also a lesson on how we can sometimes look so hard for what it is we are to see or learn, when it is right there in front of us if we just open our heart and be open to what it is we need to hear in that moment.

As I’ve written earlier in the year, one of my intentions is to be more brave in what I write and share.  Sharing these moments that are happening to me feels scary to share in some ways for what “others might think.” But I can’t deny how good it feels for me to feel connected to something bigger in this world and to share that with others.