I cried hard as a smile slowly came across my face. This precious gift is from my mom and now hangs on my living room wall.
The picture in its entirety – I had to crop top one for Facebook requirements
Sometimes it’s hard to believe this is a complete chapter in our lives that lasted almost twenty years. A path I didn’t plan on taking but that I would end up caring for three special needs dachshunds.
I love gazing at this as a reminder to reflect on all the beautiful memories and profound teachings I gained from three sweet souls. I know with absolute truth that I wouldn’t be who I am today without Frankie, Joie, and Gidget. Nor would John.
I feel blessed to have captured the teachings of each of them in three memoirs, Through Frankie’s Eyes, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift, and the one I’m currently finishing, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am.
While I don’t know what the next chapter in my life will be, looking at this picture brings me into a space within my heart that feels gratitude…so much gratitude.
There’s really not much more I can say about this special gift because this is definitely a case where a picture speaks a thousand words (times three!!).
XO,
Barbara
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My writing cottage ready to take in the full moon energy
Last Sunday evening, I drew the blinds in my writing cottage all the way to the top of all six windows to take advantage of the super blood wolf moon.
As I write to you today, yellow finches, junco’s, cardinals and sparrows flit back and forth to the feeder outside my window as the sun reflects off the snow and fills and my cozy space with welcome light on this frigid day.
I love spending time in this sacred space where I write, provide virtual oracle readings for clients, practice yoga, meditate, and pull cards and journal for myself daily.
Something different I’ve been doing lately is instead of pulling oracle cards after my yoga practice, I’m now pulling them before. As I move through my poses I can be with their energy and contemplate their meaning.
As happens now and then, I’ve not a clue of what a card is trying to share with me as was the case this past Monday.
Since the beginning of January, I’ve been putting in extra focus working on my newest book, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. I thought perhaps the card had something to do with that, but I wasn’t quite sure. But lately, the minute I awake, my thoughts are on my writing for the day.
Sitting at the table where I pull oracle cards and journal, the card I pulled from The Wisdom of the Oracle was Soul Mates.
Various thoughts went through my mind of what perhaps this message was for me. But nothing felt right. As I moved through the last down dog of my practice, I was suddenly overcome with emotion.
It felt like it came out of nowhere. Before I realized it, with a quiver in my voice I said out loud, “I love you Gidget. I love you so much. Thank you.”
In the last few months I’ve been deepening into the teaching Gidget brought me in 2018 – a time of great angst and darkness that caused me much emotional pain.
The more it integrates into my being (and what I’m writing about in my new book), the deeper my gratitude for her grows.
Still not sure the cards message, I knew I needed to let it percolate some more. Sometimes it will reveal itself later in the day or it will be a week or so later that it makes sense.
As I was eating my breakfast I received a message from my friend, Missy. She sent me a short video titled, “Loyal dog walks slowly with elderly owner.” She added, “So much symbolism here for you, Barb.”
It was a a video I’d seen before, but now it had a whole new meaning. Here’s the video before I share the insight I received:
My eyes misted over as I recalled the animal reading I had done last February when Gidget and I were going through a difficult time.
During the reading, Gidget shared that her body may not be quick, but she is in her wisdom. She also shared that she continues to come into her higher self, which I now understand as she was also encouraging me to do the same.
As I watched the video I sensed on a deeper level that Gidget was my reflection of the importance of slowing down and working on the details of my inner world – because I’d lost my way – and I had to go within and work on healing a wound that had been with me for many years in order to evolve into the next phase of my life.
And never did she give up on me.
After breakfast, I walked back out to my writing cottage to journal with the cards I picked for the day. When I looked at the Soul mates card again, I saw it as speaking to my relationship with Gidget. She truly is my soul mate at this time in my life guiding me to be my best self.
Turning to the guidebook it read: “This is the kind of soul mate who comes with a powerful gift. Your patterns and all your old stories that don’t serve your well-being enter into this dynamic so you can heal them. This person is called to a sacred task – to help you learn, even if it seems uncomfortable. Look into this mirror. You will only be changed for the better.”
This was so true and profound, I smiled through my tears. And this is how I believe the Universe speaks to us and supports when we open our hearts to take in the wisdom that is always here for us.
While my writing cottage is olive-green, the green spotlight shining on it at night, decked out for the holidays, it casts this lovely magical glow. Don’t you just want to open that Victorian screen door and step inside for a cup of hot cocoa?
Since 2009 I’ve spent countless hours in this 10 x 12 cozy and quaint space my husband, John lovingly built for me. Two children’s books, one how-to book, and two memoirs have been written within these four walls. Not to mention the oodles of blog posts and newsletters too!
Speaking of books, I’m closing in on the first draft of my third memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. I hit the 100 typed pages mark today. Not that I’m necessarily basing this book on a page count. But it’s a nice marker to know in that my last two memoirs were 120 typed pages (before formatted in book layout form). Also gauging it on what I’ve written so far, the notes I’ve taken along the way of what I want to include, and the rough outline I created at the beginning, I’m at this delicious point of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
But don’t get me wrong… I have a long ways to go yet. After this first draft is complete, I will dive back in to shape it until I feel it is good for an editor’s eyes to read. But it feels so good to be to this point.
Today I wrote a section for the book about how I came to realize I wasn’t always honoring Gidget’s needs. Not an easy thing to admit or write about. But it’s something I came to observe about myself and my needs and felt it important to share.
Every morning, for many years, since Frankie, then Joie, and now Gidget, when I was ready to get to work, I’d tuck a dachshund under my right arm and out to my writing cottage I’d go. It was always comforting to have a dog companion with me as I spend so much time alone.
But as things unfolded for Gidget and I and the inner focus I was called to do this year because of Gidget and what she was trying to help me understand, I came to see Gidget in a new way.
This book, unlike the others before them, has been written without Gidget holding space for me within my writing cottage. I came to realize this year that perhaps it wasn’t her thing. While it was difficult at first, when I let go and allowed her to make her own choice and she more often than not, chooses not to be in my writing cottage with me.
While I miss seeing her sweet face within this space, the fun part is that when I do make trips into the house, which I do often, there are times she comes bouncing around the corner to see me. So it’s happy little reunions like this throughout the day that always make me smile.
I can’t help but think too that as women we don’t always value time for ourselves or really appreciate the importance of it. While I’ve written about, and talked about this often over the years, I’ve had much to learn too. While I don’t have kids, my dogs, have at times, filled in the gap for my emotional needs.
It’s made me examine myself more closely and has had me paying more attention to what it is that Gidget may need that I wasn’t allowing her to experience because of my needs. More often than not these days, she chooses to stay in the house while I work in my writing cottage. This past summer she chose to lie on the deck and rarely spent time in my writing cottage.
I’ll admit this took some getting used to on my part. I had to sit with my feelings of not feeling rejected, and I while I do miss her being in this space with me, more often than not, my heart feels good in honoring her space and what she needs. And in turn? It makes me appreciate all the more of what it is I need too.
Thank you, as always, for being part of my community here. I’m so grateful!
Mates. 
