animal wisdom

When One Door Closes…Being Open to the Gifts Behind the Next Door.

When One Door Closes Being Open to the Gifts Behind the Next Door.
Gidget

I’ve been working just about everyday on the fourth draft of my new book, Wisdom Found in the Pause. It’s in part, about my second dog in a wheelchair, Joie, who I adopted from Oregon Dachshund Rescue in 2012.

Joie, while a beautiful gift in itself when I brought her home that fateful day in October three years ago, would be short-lived. But the lessons that continue to unveil themselves have been openings of deeper understanding and healing for me. So while the book is about Joie, it’s also about what I learned about myself after she passed.

I was mad when Joie died. Mad at God that I couldn’t have her in my life longer. I just couldn’t understand why she was called home so soon after I opened my heart wide open to love another.

A heart that was still tender from the loss of Frankie. It felt so unfair.

But as often happens from painful experiences, we don’t see the gifts or blessings until years later.

I see them continually as I work through finishing this book revisiting my life with Joie on the written page. But I also see the gifts in where I am heading in terms of new opportunities and new projects/ideas I’m investing my time in.

I also see it most clearly in the gift of Gidget. It flashed vividly through my mind again last night as she lay tucked under her blanket on her bed in the living room.

If Joie hadn’t passed away, I wouldn’t know Gidget. Each dog that has entered my life has changed me in different ways. Gidget is now doing this for me with lessons she is teaching me. Just like Joie did and Frankie and Cassie Jo before her.

Each sweet dog, a magnificent gift that I got to open my heart to and in return those gifts live on forever within me.

To hold onto grief or guilt because of their passing’s would serve no purpose. It would only shut down my heart and joy could never enter again.

It is in this awareness that I see their true beauty and that loving again is what they teach us so brilliantly. And that love is the answer.

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A Mirrored Moment. I Am Who I Am.

A Mirrored Moment. I Am Who I Am.
Kylie. I Am Who I Am.

I was looking through pictures I took over the weekend of Kylie.

As I looked at this one, a stream of thoughts ran through my mind.

Kylie has never been a Lab who likes to fetch a ball or go swimming. She’s okay with walks as long as we don’t go too far. So I suppose one could say she isn’t your “typical” Labrador Retriever.

As I thought about these things, looking into her beautiful brown eyes, I heard, “I am Who I Am.”

I thought, “Yes, you are right Kylie, and I love you just the way you are.”

It also reminded me of a struggle I had for a long time in my life, which I’m happy to say I no longer carry.

But it was one of shame that I never had the maternal instinct to want children.

In a world where motherhood is expected of women (and I’m not knocking it! After all I have a dear mom and without her I wouldn’t be here), I often felt so odd, wondering at times if something was wrong with me.

I know better these days that nothing was ever wrong with me. It’s who I am. And just looking at Kylie and thinking about the way in which she is her own self is a beautiful reminder to be who we all authentically are.

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Opening to All Animal Wisdom. Not Just the Cute and Cuddly.

Opening to All Animal Wisdom. Not Just the Cute and Cuddly.
Gidget posing with my new intuition doll made by artist, Maria Wulf

It isn’t my intent to creep those out who are a bit squeamish.

But here’s the thing. I’m really grateful for being willing to open myself to the wisdom of a creature, who I thought would be one of the least likeliest ones that I would have.

This creature, according to Animal Speak by Ted Williams, is one of rebirth, resurrection, initiation and wisdom.

He also says that out of maybe even all the animals, this is the one of great controversy and paradox.

But a series of events happened to me which really started last winter and escalated this summer.

I’m going to share the last event that happened, because I was somewhat surprised to have felt compassion for this animal that many do not care for (including myself and my fear of them).

I was strolling down my driveway early one evening to take Kylie and Gidget for a walk after dinner.

About two feet off the end of my driveway was the most brilliant emerald green snake. She was coiled up and dead.

For some reason, I wasn’t afraid to approach her, though I kept the dogs at a distance.

There were two baby snakes beside her, and two further away from her. They were all dead.

I was overcome with sadness. It felt so tragic that this whole family was wiped out in a matter of what may have been seconds.

Then I felt awful, being that they were just feet off the driveway, behind my car, that perhaps I had hit and killed them. I don’t recall hitting them, but yet, I really don’t know.

I couldn’t get it out of my mind and ended up sharing this with my friend, Dawn, who is an animal communicator.

It was with her skillful and gentle guidance that she taught me to approach this as if a dream, and to dance within the wisdom of what this may be trying to convey to me.

Most interesting is that she is writing a book about snake and the wisdom snake has for us if we are open to it. Again, I realize this may be difficult for some and I understand.

I hesitated writing about this, only because of my own fear that others may judge me and think I’m weird or have gone off the deep end. But I also realize I don’t wish to judge others who are still afraid of snakes.

But the dance I was able to do with Dawn seeing this as perhaps a dream which made it easier to approach and look at, offered some profound gifts for me.

When I think about snakes wisdom of rebirth, this has been very much a place I’ve been moving toward for the past three years or so. I’m in the process of birthing a new book I’m currently writing and also birthed a new role as a SoulCollage(r) facilitator which helps to encourage others to listen more often to their own intuition.

But I’ve also birthed a new awakening of understanding and the willingness to open myself to opening to all of the animal world. I’m also birthing myself as a woman now in my mid-life years and all that that brings.

While I feel excited about these new ventures, some of these teachings haven’t been easy to look at. But I will say, it has been very healing. I’ve definitely felt a shift within that wasn’t there before.

It has now led me to more curiosity of what other animals may have to offer me and which I want to continue to be open to.

Then just the other day I saw an intuition doll, which artist Maria Wulf makes. I knew I had to have it.

There are no coincidences and that doll was meant to be mine. She’s a reminder of the wisdom gained this summer and wisdom yet to come.

I welcome it. I welcome it all.

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