compassion

Book Review & Giveaway! Saving Simon: How a Rescue Donkey Taught Me the Meaning of Compassion.

Posted by Barbara Techel

simon bookAs many of you likely know, Jon Katz is my all-time favorite author. Whenever he announces he is working on a new book, I find myself on the edge of my sofa, eagerly waiting to curl up with a new book of his.

I have to say that I felt an extra bit of eager anticipation waiting for Saving Simon, as I’ve come to love and understand donkeys more because of Jon writing about them on his blog for many years.

I want to begin with my favorite passage from Saving Simon:

“When an animal guides you, emotionally and spiritually, it is not an obvious thing. Rather, they open doors indirectly, and then a domino effect sets in. They open up one part, and then that experience opens up another.”

As someone whose life has been positively changed for the better and enriched in ways I never saw coming because of caring for a dachshund that was paralyzed, I can closely relate to how the experience opens many facets of deepening in our understanding of love and compassion.

It was difficult to begin the story and read of the conditions in which Simon lived, so close to death when he was found and Jon, and his wife, Maria brought him to their farm. It brought me to tears and I had to set the book down for a moment.

But Simon was now in a place where he could heal and begin to live again. And in the process, as animals often do, they heal the humans around them, oftentimes without us even suspecting what is happening to us.

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Another passage from the book that touched me was this one:

And again, there was Simon’s spirit in my head. I can’t speak for what’s inside of his genial consciousness, but I can speak to what was inside of mine. From the first, I was struck by what I saw as the great trait of acceptance in Simon. People always spoke of him as being abused, rescued or neglected, but I saw no sign that Simon thought of himself in that way. Simon immediately got down to the basics of life—eating, walking, pursuing the girls, getting his ration of carrots and apples, getting brushed and fussed over.

This is what I’ve come to love deeply about animals. Their adversity to getting on with life despite what they’ve been through. Their ability to love again also speaks volumes.

Jon beautifully shares how Simon opened up a new world for him of understanding compassion in a way I’ve thought the same way in caring for special needs dogs.

He describes Simon as a magical helper, a spirit guide to help him on his hero journey. His helper appeared in the form of a donkey. Who’d of thunk, right?

But I believe our animal friends are calling out to us to be open to these important lessons to help heal our planet. Simon was just what Jon’s heart needed in opening to a new way of understanding. And when we open our hearts, we also open ourselves more deeply to understanding our fellow humankind.

Jon’s honesty in sharing how he wished to understand the farmer that had Simon before him, I found, to be extraordinary. In one aspect he wanted the farmer, who was so far down into despair after all he endured the past years of hardship, to snap out of it, he realized the farmer was beyond reach.

If we don’t feel for the human being who is so far into this dark place, how can we care for, and be open to the animals and planet around us?

To feel compassion for all living beings is what helps each of us to heal, just as Jon so beautifully shares through his story of Simon.

Simon, as I believe all animals are, are the definition of compassion. To now know Simon through the written word of Jon has opened another part in me that I welcome and am forever changed for the experience. Thank you, Simon….and Jon.

GIVEAWAY!  Leave a comment below by midnight cst, Oct. 22nd to be eligible for a copy of Saving Simon that I will be giving away. I will be using random.org to pick the winner and will announce on my blog on Thursday, Oct. 23rd (US residents only).

Animal Communication Journal, Part 2: Connecting with Kylie. Letting Go of Guilt.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_2106 12On Monday, two days after the animal communication workshop I hosted, I walked by the mirror that sits on my vanity and Kylie caught my eye as I saw her reflection in the mirror. I quickly grabbed my camera and got this shot. I love it. It speaks to so much of what transpired during a group connection with her.

First a bit of background:

Kylie was only six months old when my dachshund, Frankie became paralyzed. Initially, John was the one to want another Lab after our chocolate Lab passed away nine years ago. I  recall not being sure if I was ready. But then I thought about how I wanted a therapy dog. Maybe Kylie would be the therapy dog I wanted, I thought, so the excitement grew in finding just the right puppy.

It didn’t work out the way I had planned. Frankie became my therapy dog after she recovered from her disc surgery and was then fitted for a wheelchair. Looking back I know this was the plan, though I didn’t know it at the time.  As it would also turn out, and I discovered as the years unfolded, Kylie was happier in her own environment. Therapy dog work would have not been for her.

At times I’ve felt guilty for the extra attention Frankie needed, then Joie, and now Gidget. I also felt guilty many times I’d leave the house to do my work with Frankie, leaving Kylie behind. And this is such a difficult thing for me to admit – In many ways I’ve felt like I’ve failed Kylie.

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During the 2-day workshop, Kylie stayed in her kennel in the kitchen or laid on the bed in our bedroom. The two places that make her feel safe and comforted. Kylie can feel off center when things are out of place and my living room was surely that with furniture arranged differently and chairs added to accommodate 10 people for the workshop. She would peek in at us from time to time, but made no attempt to want to be among us.

Dawn led the group in a short meditation and then they first connected with Gidget.  After everyone shared their thoughts about her, we went right into connecting with Kylie.

Dawn asked me to ask my question of Kylie that I most wanted to know from her, so the group could then connect with her to see what they would get.

I said, “My question to Kylie is this:  What is the one lesson you are trying to teach me that I may not yet be getting?”

What happened next with one young lady in particular brought me to tears, releasing a deep guilt I’ve been carrying around for quite a few years.  Because it was so emotional for me, I actually reached out to Renee (not her real name) via email earlier this week and asked her if she’d be willing to share her notes she’d written about Kylie from the reading. Because I felt distraught at the time, I didn’t capture exactly what Kylie had conveyed during the reading.

This is what she wrote to me about Kylie:

Kylie was being a little shy and insecure during the reading. She has a heavier energy and needs time to adjust to new things. She worries about things and has some feelings of conflict about being a dog. She doesn’t have some “normal” doggy preferences and behaviors (like playing fetch). She likes support from you and to be in the light of your love and compassion, including self-love and self-compassion.

When asked the question from you: what is the one lesson you are trying to teach me that I might not be getting? I received a very strong “YES”, there is a lesson. I felt her energy really perk up when asked this and she was very straight-forward. She answered, “Everyone needs and wants love.” There was an emphasis on the word everyone and I felt it was to represent herself and you as being included in the statement. There was no sense of judgment coming from Kylie. No self-pity, guilt or resentment, just an understanding that everyone is worthy of love. Kylie seemed relieved to have been able to share that.

Renee also told me as she was reviewing her notes to send me, the song by Melissa Ethridge, Only Love, kept playing over and over in her head. She suggested I check it out. When I did, it brought it home full circle for me (video below).

In one sense it was very hard for me to hear what Kylie shared because the guilt I’ve carried about her having weighed heavier on my heart than I think I even realized. Even though I’ve never been a mom to children, I feel trying to relate my feelings in the following way helps me make sense of it.

Trying to be everything for each of my dog’s hasn’t always been easy. Because my dachshund’s have special needs, and I love caring for them, I have always felt like Kylie has gotten the short end of the stick — so to speak. My guilt in that I don’t spend as much time with her as I have, and do, with my other dogs. But I love her. I love her very much. It just feels different.

In a sense, I’ve relied on Kylie to be the strong one. The self-love and self-compassion really spoke to me as I caught her reflection in the mirror the other day. If I don’t let go of the guilt, I can’t love myself in order to give her more of my love. The self-compassion also speaks volumes as I must be compassionate with myself and where I’ve been and how I’m evolving. Kylie’s heart is big  and open and she accepts me, even when I don’t feel I’ve been the best I should be with her.

On a spectacular side note:  After the group connected with, and heard from Kylie, something pretty special happened. Kylie came into the living room and made her way around to everyone in the room. It was if she was thanking them for the honor of being heard. It brings tears to my eyes as I finish writing this post.

Everyone is worthy of love and we must first begin with ourselves. We must remember to forgive ourselves when we aren’t at our best or try so hard to be everything to everyone.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hugged Kylie since the workshop. I silently talk with her and thank her for her words of wisdom. I also tell her how much I truly love her for who she is. But the difference now is because of my shift in understanding and forgiving myself, I believe she feels that on a whole new level for herself…. and that makes my heart so very happy.

Have You Become More Human Because of Your Pets?

Posted by Barbara Techel

kylie with paper 1200Recently I posed this question on Facebook:  Do you think you have become more human because of your pets? If so, how?

Many said they feel they have become more compassionate toward other animals, especially those in need in rescue, puppy mills, etc. While I think that is wonderful, I realized I needed to be more specific with my question.  I expanded on it with this, How has that compassion for animals led you to be more human?  Meaning, how has it led you to being more human toward other human beings?

One person said, “Through animals, I’ve learned that I am not the most important species on the planet and not the most intelligent or forgiving.”

I’m not sure I’d say we are less intelligent, but I would say we each have something powerful and profound to offer each other. This, in turn, I believe, can make our planet a better place for all to live.  I don’t feel that animals are less than, but important to our own personal development if we are open to what they are teaching us.

While most said they have become more compassionate and patient, I was still interested in digging further with examples of what that means. I know my love for animals has made me more compassionate and patient also, especially for those with special needs. But  I realized years later that the work I did with Frankie as a therapy dog and working with children, that I became a better person toward my fellow human beings. Here are few ways in which I think I’ve become more human because of what I’ve learned through my pets.

  • I’m less judgmental toward others.
  • I have more patience for those I may not fully understand and those that tend to frustrate me. I’ve learned that they are my greatest teachers in what I want or don’t want for my own life.
  • I’m kinder to others with just simple things such as offering a smile more often to strangers, or holding a door open.
  • I don’t worry as much about the small stuff, which makes me much nicer to be around.
  • I live more authentically which I  think encourages others around me to try and do the same.

This list is a work in progress, as I do lose my way now and then, because, well… after all, I am human. When this happens, I stop and look into the eyes of my dog’s and I am reminded once again of the ways in which they teach me to love unconditionally.

I’d love to hear your thoughts so feel free to let me know what you think.