death of a pet

Reflecting on a Year Since Frankie Died- A Celebration of her Life

Posted by Barbara Techel

frankie photo from kristiI never really said goodbye.

No goodbye because I continue to feel the love of Frankie in my heart.

No goodbye because I made the conscious choice before she died to deeply inhale the smell of her, embrace the feel of her warm, soft body, and sit with the memories of the joy and love she gave me.

No goodbye because I want every June 21st to be a celebration of Frankie’s life and all those she touched.

I honestly don’t know if I believe in the rainbow bridge. That is hard for me to share, as I realize many do. It’s not my intent to dishonor what is right for others. I understand it’s a way for many in dealing with, and moving through, their own loss. I respect that.

I believe Frankie and I are still together–she is just in a place I can’t see. But I trust she is where she needs to be–wherever that is. So I’m not sure she is waiting on the other side of a bridge.

I’m also not sure if she is really some “place”, but rather it feels as if she is  this illumination of divine light and love that makes my heart smile when I think of her. The love and light seems to come and go at just the right time when I need it.

To me, she is just here in a different way. A lighter way. A deeper way, and in many ways, a more meaningful way.

Reflecting on other pets I’ve lost, they were all hard. But Frankie’s passing was the most difficult to date I’ve experienced.

The beauty of it though?

How I’ve grown deeper in my spirituality once again, and in my own way of dealing with a profound loss.

I allowed the grief to swallow me at times. I swam in it, and almost felt as if I’d drown, feeling deeply every inch of the pain of losing her. I didn’t try to run from how bad my heart hurt. At times, it was so intense I honestly didn’t think I’d move through it. But I called upon my faith more than any other time that I can recall. I reminded myself to believe I’d find my way back to happy again.

I did. This, to me, is honoring the ultimate blessing that Frankie truly was to me– to many.

When I now feel joy, I feel it even more magnified for having moved through something I thought would crush my heart into tiny pieces.

I see now that my purpose grew even more defined. Caring for a dog that would become paralyzed was not a choice I would have made for my life. But then wanting to someday love another little one with special needs was something my soul yearned for as I moved through the years with Frankie.

The gift of Frankie, who opened my eyes to something I may never have otherwise seen.

I feel in a good place these days with Frankie at peace in a place that makes her happy. It’s no longer about her helping me, but a place that she can simply be. A place in my heart that rests easy in knowing we will always be connected in our own, unique way. A knowing that I can go on, and I am going on. That I will love again, and am loving again.

It took work for me to get here. Real work of accepting my process. Real work of allowing sadness to seep into every inch of my being. Real work of trusting I’d find joy again… even though Frankie’s physical presence is no longer here to remind me of how far I’ve come.

Reflecting back, I’d do every bit of life with Frankie all over again knowing my heart would shatter like nothing I’ve felt before.

And now… being fully present to this moment, here and now, I give my deepest gratitude for the love of Frankie who brought me to this time of now loving and caring for little Joie.

No goodbyes… only a journey that continues in just the way it is meant to be.

I. am. Blessed.

**The Life and Legacy of Frankie lives on with National Walk ‘N Roll Dog Day.  Join us on Facebook to continue to spread the positive message that dogs in wheelchair live quality lives if given a chance.

Saying Goodbye to Two Dear Animal Friends: Part Two

Posted by Barbara Techel

On Tuesday I shared the loss of a very special Maine Coon cat, named Sunshine.  He was my mom’s cat, but was very much a part of my life.  Click here to read about Sunshine.

Today I share my memories of Kirby, a dachshund with much character, and who also happened to be Frankie’s boyfriend.  He left us for the Rainbow Bridge on Monday, January 17th.


Kirby stayed with our family often, while his family went on vacation.  He was a dog with a lot of spunk and you could see it the minute you were in his presence.

He could do the “stay” commandment with just his stance and a look that had my 100 lb. lab, Kylie stay right where she was laying as he pranced by.

Every time he’d come bounding through the front door, after putting Kylie in her stay position, he’d charge after the love of his life, Frankie.  After much playing and chasing, they’d often settle down to nap only as wiener dogs can do.

 

Kirby was a big part of our family… and yes, I even forgave his Dad for being a Viking fan.  And it was lucky for Kirby he was so cute that I did not object to his daily walks when with me, outfitted in his Viking harness and leash.

My husband John and Kirby had a special connection and we often referred to Kirby as “the little man.”  In a houseful of all girls, John always welcomed Kirby for a visit to feel not so out numbered.

Many summers on the weekends Frankie and Kirby would hang out on the deck soaking up the sun. Frankie would settle in and roll over with her belly pointing to the sky.  But, Kirby, well he had to be on patrol, keeping watch over the backyard in case of another intruder.  He wanted nothing to happen to his best girl, Frankie.

It won’t be the same not having Kirby come to visit, but like Sunshine, we feel so very blessed to have known Kirby and that his parents entrusted us to care for him like our own.

Thank you, Kirby for being the best boyfriend a wiener dog girl could ever ask for.  We know we will all meet again someday… and I will be so happy to hug you again.  Thanks for being our friend.

 

Saying Goodbye to Two Dear Animal Friends: Part One

Posted by Barbara Techel

The past few weeks have been a bit difficult with two dear animal friends in my life who went to the Rainbow Bridge.  It is oh, so hard, to lose our own, but I’ve lost two critter friends that were like family to me.  Though my heart breaks for the loss of each of them, I feel so blessed to have had each of them in my life.

So I say goodbye to Sunshine and Kirby.  Today I share Sunshine with you and Wednesday, the 26th I will share Kirby.

SUNSHINE


Sunshine, the handsome, regal, Maine Coon Cat who was one of the most loving cats I have ever known. Early today, while in my mom’s arms, he took his last breath.  He was only 7-years old. He was my mom’s cat and the best kitty brother a girl could ever ask for.

For quite a few years every winter for 6-8 weeks Sunshine would stay with me while my mom and her husband were in Florida.  He always made himself perfectly at home and I loved that he felt so comfortable with us.

One year he stayed with me a few months after I had lost my cat Dani, so it was so comforting to have a cat hang out with me in my big chair when I read.  He and Frankie just loved to snuggle and play together!

(I always loved this photo of the two… as if Frankie is saying, “Mom can we PLEASE keep him?  I love him so much!)

Frankie was head over heels in love with Sunshine!  And it is because of Sunshine that nine months after Frankie’s IVDD diagnoses, that she begin to try and walk.  She so wanted to be wherever Sunshine was, so when not in her wheelchair she started to “hop” like a rabbit to be near him.  I attribute her on and off hopping to this day to Sunshine.  Thank you so much, Sunshine.

Sunshine was diagnosed with kidney disease a few months ago and my mom thought she would have more time with him yet, as kidney disease can progress slowly.  But in a recent exam tough news came that Sunshine had an enlarged heart with a blood clot that could move at any moment.  He would be leaving sooner than we anticipated.

I asked if I could please come say goodbye.  He was a part of me and my life and I just needed to let him know I loved him one more time.

Saying goodbye to Sunshine with my mom’s dogs, DollyJo (left) and Charley looking on.

My mom said Sunshine was spending most of his time in his bed since his heart disease diagnoses and was not eating much. The day I visited he let me hold him.  Then he sat near my chair and I felt as if he knew I was there to say goodbye.  I held him one more time and then he decided it was time to head back to his bed.

So as yesterday came towards a close and my mom grappled with making the right choice for Sunshine, he no longer would take food or water.  And my mom said as she looked into his eyes she saw he was no longer “here.” She knew it was time.  She had a dream that night that Sunshine was with his sister Missy in heaven.  As she got to the vet and was waiting in the vet room to have him put to sleep, she was holding him, when he died in her arms.

Though it so hard to say goodbye there is such comfort and peace that came from the signs that appeared to help my mom know it was ok.

We all want to know when it is the “right time” and so often there is no answer to that question even when we look to others for guidance. It is something we must open our hearts to, though we know it will cause great pain… but that pain means we love and we feel joy and are so alive. And for me, I wouldn’t trade any of it… the love, the joy, the pain, and the heart break.

Sunshine was truly a beautiful soul.  I wish everyone could have known him.  He was one of a kind, and will be greatly missed.  But my dear little Maine Coon friend, I feel you in my heart, swishing that magical tail of yours against my heart strings, and I know you will always be with me… and with all those who loved you.

Many blessings to you in your new journey, my friend.  I’ll take good care of Mom till we all meet again.

For more information on cardiac problems in Maine Coon cats, which is on the rise, here is an article discussing this disease.