inspiration

Available for Book Club Discussions. Touching a Chord. Book Giveaway!

Posted by Barbara Techel

chillin out with Joie

Chillin’ out with Joie, my inspiration and reminder that life is so good!

I’m really enjoying hearing from many of you after you’ve read my new book. I’m feeling so honored that my book is touching a chord. It felt incredibly vulnerable letting my story go out into the world. But those of you sharing your thoughts with me have truly touched me. Thank you.

One thing I’d like to do is connect with book clubs for discussion around any or all of the topics in my book. If you belong to a book club, we can do this via phone or Skype. If your group has never done this before in terms of phone or Skype, I can help with that. I’m also available in person depending on your location. For more information please feel free to contact me.

While I wrote my book mainly for women, I was deeply touched by an email I received from David, who is 49 years old. He gave me permission to share what he wrote to me.

“Through your work, you’ve helped me look at certain things that I’ve worried about in life a whole different light. Bailey had back surgery a couple years ago, and we were fortunate that she recovered well. However, our vet has told us that after looking at some x-rays for Rudy, she would most likely be susceptible to back issues. So, I’ve been stressed about that for quite some time, that is until I read your book. What a positive outlook it has helped me formulate on the whole situation. I’m sure that whatever happens, it will turn out to be a blessing.

I’ve also lost a lot of loved ones in my life, my parents in my 20’s and many other relatives throughout the years. Thus, turning 50 this year wasn’t feeling all that great, but once again, you’ve given me a few things to contemplate and for that I’m really thankful. I know that I have the best years of my life to come, sharing them with my loving partner of 10 years and our beautiful, very special girls that you see in the photo. I’m looking forward to get on with it now more than ever!”

I wanted to share this because as I mentioned, I felt vulnerable putting my thoughts out there. While at the same time, I realize so many of us struggle with some of the same issues. While these issues may seem ordinary, I came to see that if they stop us from living fuller, happier lives, then we need to start talking about them and encouraging each other.

In an upcoming Joyful Paws Jaunt blog stop later this month I’ll be talking about how being vulnerable actually helps us when writing memoir on Kathleen Pooler’s memoir blog. But even if you aren’t planning on writing your memoir, I’d love to connect with you and your book club for discussion around topics that do make us vulnerable and stop us from going after our dreams and our hearts desires.

**If you’d like to try and win a copy of Through Frankie’s Eyes, be sure to stop by The Mary Reader blog soon and leave a comment to have your name entered. You must also sign up to follow Mary’s blog to qualify and details on the right hand side of her page.

 

Life Happens While You are Busy Making Other Plans

Posted by Barbara Techel

frankie photo from kristi

A friend was cleaning out her photos and sent this one to me that she had taken of Frankie. My heart fluttered with love for my sweet girl. So many wonderful emotions flooded my heart when I looked at her.

It seemed fitting to get this photo yesterday because of a quote I couldn’t get out of my head yesterday afternoon. Though there is much controversy as to the exact quote of “Life happens while you are busy making other plans” and who said it, I think you get the idea of its meaning. But it came up because of a talk I was having with a friend who is trying to understand some things in her life right now.

I also can’t help but think of it as I get ready to share my story with the world in February. The past ten years of my life and how they unfolded were not part of my plans. But looking back now, I wouldn’t trade one moment of it. Though there were some very painful times- like losing my chocolate Lab Cassie, as well as Frankie becoming paralyzed, and then passing away in June, those moments have been pivotal for me.  None of it did I plan. But they would become huge lessons for me, as well as what I needed to push me forward in my self growth and spirituality.

When Frankie became paralyzed, I remember questioning why this was happening- why me? It was not what I had laid out for my life for the next ten years. I was faced with a choice I had not planned, but none-the-less, I had a choice. And the only choice that mattered at that space in time that seemed to span out eons, was Frankie’s well being.

Reflecting back I see now that this all had to be part of my life plan– I had some things I needed to discover about myself– accept about myself.  God (spirit, universe, high power- whatever you choose to call it), was hitting me over the head saying there were some lessons I needed to learn to discover that being me was perfectly fine to be.  That high power chose animals for me to learn those lessons.

I didn’t in anyway, shape or form, want to lose Frankie– though I knew it was inevitable– life happens and we can’t always plan for it. So as that was presented to me, I had to consciously make a choice to take in all those last sweet moments with her.  Give blessed thanks for the road we traveled and say thanks for the divine timing and plan of it all. And I see now as I move into a new chapter of my life that it indeed was part of a bigger plan and I am exactly right where I need to be at this moment. Frankie knew that and she knew exactly when it was right for her to continue on her own journey– she had done her work, her life plan played out beautifully– and she knew I’d continue on my way just fine.

So while “Life happens while you are busy making other plans” I think it’s a good reminder to know this is how it is going to be. To stop in that moment of something that is “unplanned” and give thanks for the lessons or new road it is about to reveal. Not always easy, I agree, but again, a reminder to try and move through the unexpected as best we can.

It’s Here! A Sneak Peak Inside “Through Frankie’s Eyes”– An Excerpt

Posted by Barbara Techel

frankie3D book coverI’m in total ‘push it out into the world’ mode as I prepare to launch my new book end of the next month. I’m thrilled to have a local arts center where I live to hold my book launch celebration on Feb. 28th, 2013. For those of you who can’t physically attend, I’m working on a special edition of my book that I will release on or around Feb. 16th, 2013. I’m putting the final touches on that now.

As I get ready to share my story with all of you I recently had pangs of fear rise up in me. They have since dissipated, but I have a feeling they may resurface as I near the actual date of my launch. I follow Linda Hoye’s blog called, A Slice of Writing Life. In a recent post called Owning Our Own Stories she hit it on the head of what this feels like, as she has gone through it herself.

She said, “” I began to feel as if I was about to discard my clothes and stand naked in front of the world. Publishing my book meant allowing myself to be vulnerable– a terrifying concept to someone who had lived under a shroud of shame and secrecy for much of her life.”

I can relate. But as I move through the final preparations I find myself more excited than ever to see where this book leads. It is also reminding me once again, to remain open to what standing in our truth can bring into our lives. I’m ready for the ride!

Owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. -Brene Brown

And now for the excerpt!

Chapter Two:  A Nagging Ache

’ll never forget the morning of September 11, 2001. I was working from home that day, and was alone when I learned that terrorists had flown two planes into the World trade Center and another into the Pentagon. A fourth plane, its target unknown, had crashed into a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, killing everyone aboard. I remember sitting in front of the TV, terrified; I really thought the world was going to end. I desperately needed to talk to someone, but I wasn’t able to get a hold of John. I called my mom, and although she tried to comfort me, she couldn’t assure me all would be okay. No one knew if, and when, something more would happen. Mom and I talked a little more, said our I love yous, and hung up.

I was in shock and could not concentrate on working. Frankie was curled beside me on her pink pillow. She always hung out with me as I worked. Having her near me always made my days lighter, no matter what was going on. I picked her up, hugging her tight and telling her how much I loved her. But I wanted to be with Cassie too, and I found her in the bedroom, curled on the bed, oblivious to what was happening. I snuggled close to her, with Frankie still nestled in my arms. I tried to tell myself that everything would be fine. But I had never felt so scared and unsure about anything as I did in those moments. I thought our world would never be the same again. It was an eerie and lonely feeling.

Like millions of other people that day, I remained glued to the TV, watching the attack being played over and over again. Everyone was desperate for answers. Later that morning, John came walking through the back door, his face pale and slightly dazed. He looked as shocked as I felt.

With my voice shaking, I said, “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “but this is not good.”

We didn’t say anything else, just hugged each other. Someone had deliberately attacked the United States, and thousands of lives were lost. We mourned their deaths, as well as our country’s innocence.

Two days later, I returned to my part time job at the other construction business. When I arrived, I found an angry note the owner had left for me. He had found an error in the spreadsheet that detailed his expenses and income, which I maintained for him. It stung to read his strong words on the page. I was still reeling from the horror of 9/11 and feeling a new appreciation for how dear life truly is. I couldn’t understand why he would leave a note like this, instead of talking to me face to face, and so soon after our country had been attacked. How could he be so cold? I thought.

I tried to figure out how the mistake occurred, but I couldn’t think straight. I did know that I didn’t feel it was right to respond to his lack of consideration with another note. So I called him and asked if we could talk about it. He agreed, and when he returned to the office we sat down to what I thought  would be a discussion of how we could  improve our procedure moving forward. However, as we spoke, I had the overwhelming feeling that he wanted me to leave, but didn’t have the courage to fire me. I tried to reason with him, suggesting we look at new ways of doing the report to avoid future mistakes, but to no avail. He wouldn’t listen. With my lip quivering, I felt I had no choice but to leave. My face felt so hot, and I was trying not to cry.

I said, “Okay, I guess I’ll just get my things.”

He didn’t say a word as I walked out of his office. I was so humiliated. It took everything in me not to burst into tears, but I refused to give him the satisfaction. I loaded my things into my car as fast as I could, then I got in, slammed the door, and sped off. Once I was safely away the tears finally came and I cried all the way home. I couldn’t wait to hug my dogs and talk to John.

I’ve always had a strong work ethic. To be let go from a job was incredibly hard to deal with. More salt was added to my wound when I tried to claim unemployment a few weeks later. My former boss fought it, saying he didn’t let me go, but that I had walked out. This only added to my feelings of inadequacy. I felt like a huge failure.

Interestingly enough, for the past year, I’d often questioned what it was I truly wanted for my life. I’d silently ask myself, “What does Barb want?” But I didn’t know the answer. Losing this job only added fuel to the fire. What was this thing called life all about? Was this all there really was? Little did I know that being fired would be a blessing in disguise.