intuition

Writing Cottage Anew. It’s a Jungle in Here.

Posted by Barbara Techel
Writing Cottage Anew. It's a Jungle in Here.
My writing desk and over-sized chair where I meditate and also like to read.

For about three weeks I kept pushing aside the yearning I had to re-arrange my writing and creative cottage. This 10 x 12 space that sits off the corner of my deck and feels like a giant hug each time I walk through the Victorian screen door.

Earlier this spring I purged what I no longer needed in this space as I believe when we discard what no longer serves us, it allows for new creativity to come into our lives.

But it had been awhile since I re-arranged the furniture. There are only so many ways in which I can position all the pieces, but this feeling of moving things around kept beckoning.

Sunday and in the wee early hours, lying awake in bed there was this voice again, Time to move things around in the cottage. And what followed next I struggled a few hours with (though in reality I’d been giving thought to this for a long time). I heard that it was time for me to also let go of some of my Frankie photos and memorabilia. I felt some resistance, but I promised myself I’d take it into consideration.

Later in the morning after procrastinating for a time, I answered that intuitive call and out to my cottage I went to begin the task of making it anew.

I have a tall free-standing bookshelf, my writing desk, what I call my analog desk (where I do my daily oracle readings for myself and where I create in my art journal), an over-sized wicker chair with matching ottoman, 3-drawer side table, and a chest on wheels. My petite gas stove stays permanently fixed in the northwest corner. It’s quite a few pieces to have contained in this small space, but somehow I manage to make it all work, even though it has its limits on what I can do.

My analog table where I work on art journaling plus each morning after meditation pull an oracle card (or two or three!) and journal.

I moved some pieces onto the deck so I could more easily move other’s around. Then I took down all the photos of Frankie and the memorabilia I had on two of the walls. From there I decided what would stay and what could go, but not before taking a photograph of what I was letting go. Two went into storage downstairs and one I put on the wall in the living room, while five other remain in my writing cottage. This feels right.

Over the years I’ve been making shifts away from my identity solely being about my life and my work I’d done with Frankie and disabled dogs. It hasn’t always been easy, but I remind myself it’s because of Frankie and then Joie, and now Gidget, that I am who I am today.

I have no doubt Frankie and Joie are happy, and blessing me from the other side, that I continue to spread my wings and learn to fly in new ways. As for Gidget, well, she was another pivotal marker in guiding me to this new space of acceptance. That story is yet to come and what I am in the throws of with writing a new book.

Part of my letting go of some of the Frankie items was that over three years ago I set the intention to open to the wisdom of all animals, which I owe to the dogs in my life for all they taught to me. And so one-by-one (unlike two-by-two with Noah’s Ark!) I’ve been bringing other animal totems, photos and images into this place I hold so sacred. Animals that have come into my life via guided meditations, in the wild, through animal readings, and those I just feel drawn to for some reason or another.

Looking around my room as I write this now I realize all the different critters that surround me! There is, dragonfly, wolf, mouse, owl, ladybug, birds, horse, musk ox, butterfly, donkey, dolphin, pig, whale, turtle, salamander, deer, lion, tiger, leopard, flamingo, frog, giraffe, squirrel, snake, cat and dragon. They are now, along with my dog friends present and past, with me as I write and create. 

A cozy spot for a guest to sit or a place to collect magazines and books to read.

The past, and those items attached with it, I know, not always easy to let go of physically and emotionally. But when we lovingly and gently let go, while blessing all of it for helping shape us into who we are, not only is that a gift that stays with us always, but it then opens a new channel of opportunity for more gifts to find us.

After everything was neatly in their new places, I burned some sage as a special ritual to clean out of the old energy so new energy can take hold. And I must say, I do feel a refreshing new energy today as I write this post. Ahhhh, yes!

My symbolic corner of courage and strength.

And so this lovely jungle it is in my writing and creative cottage anew, I find myself quite content, and ready to continue to walk this journey that I alone can only walk.

XO,

Barbara

Reflections on Feeling Stuck From Wild Woman Oracle and Betty Blue Flowers

Posted by Barbara Techel

A saying exists: a writer gets to live twice. First we live, and then we write about how we lived. Like a cow that brings up its feed and chews it again, a writer has a second chance to digest experience. The second time is in the notebook or in front of a computer screen. Often the second is the real time for a writer. It is then we get to claim our existence. ~Natalie Goldberg, Let the Whole Thundering World Come In

There is so much depth and truth in this statement Natalie shares in her new book about her recent journey with cancer and how that unfolded for her. Not only did she have to endure her experience of cancer once, but she opened herself up again to all the feelings for others to glean from it what they will. And in large part because it’s who she is as a writer.

As I woke this morning my mind immediately drifted to where I left off yesterday working on writing my newest, and third, memoir. I was feeling very stuck. Which led me to feeling frustrated. Which then led me to trying to talk myself down from the ledge of being hard on myself. I reminded myself that this is a process. I also reminded myself that I have my own process and that I must trust it. And all of this…this is part of the process of writing a book.

For me, I’m not just actively writing when I’m at the keyboard, it’s what I want to write in upcoming chapters, or the next days writing on my mind, that drifts in and out most days when I’m in the thick of a new book. It’s not always easy for me to turn it off. I’ve come to a better place in understanding now that this is how I write and thus I’m much more comfortable with how I move through my process.

But there are times I feel stuck, as I did this morning, dreading the moment I’d come to the computer screen. As I walked out my bedroom patio door to my writing cottage, across the deck, it was the flowers in the window planter, called “Betty Blue” that caught my eye.

I reflected on how when the weather is not to their liking, they close, and I’m not able to enjoy their soft blue color I love so much. Instead they look brown and almost as if they are dying. I realized then they just go inward for a time being, conserving their energy, to appear again another day. While they may appear to being doing nothing, it’s truly not the case. They are alive and well within their own process.

So what do I need this morning, I thought, that will guide me along in my process? Normally I meditate first. Then I sit down at the table behind my writing desk, overlooking the gully full of luscious greenery this time of year, ponder a question I’d like Spirit to help me with, write it down, and then pick an oracle card or two to see what insight they have to offer, along with trusting my intuition to guide me, also.

Instead, today I felt called to ponder my question first, write it down, tuck it in my mind as I meditated, and then pull an oracle card from The Mystical Shaman Oracle deck (my new favorite that I can’t seem to get enough of!) and write my insight in my journal.

While the flowers and their reflection had encouraged me to go inward, the first place my eye landed when I picked the Wild Woman card, was her heart. My eye was then drawn to the tree coming out the top of her head.

I wrote: Stay connected to your true nature which is at the heart of who you are.

I felt that vibrate throughout my body as truth. I’d felt stuck because I had fear around what I wanted to write about next – fear of judgement and my ego trying once again to protect me.

As my eye wandered up to the wild branches blooming from Wild Woman’s head I knew I wanted more than anything to let my thoughts flow and branch out into manifestation without fear of how they will land.

Then reading what the booklet had to offer, I smiled as what resonated for me is this: “Your authentic self does not fit in a box. Our light gets dimmed by the restrictions placed upon us as a society. Wild Woman reminds us to shine brightly regardless of perceived outcomes.”

I thought back to Natalie’s quote and how true it is that not only do writers live their experience as our own, but then we subject ourselves to opening and sharing with others, which means what we write may not always be what others agree with. But what we feel called to do, not only as a big part of who we are, but as a way in which we do get this opportunity to move through the experiences of our own lives again, thus gaining even more clarity and understanding of who we truly are.

Spending this time in honoring what was calling to me and time in reflection, I found my way to where I’d left off yesterday, and ended up with words flowing effortlessly from the end of my fingers, and grateful for a keyboard to capture them as fast as they were coming.

XO,

Barbara

Are you feeling stuck in an area of your life? Book a private intuitive oracle guidance session with me here.  I’d be honored to be your guide.