life lessons

Life Lessons from First Time in a Kayak

Posted by Barbara Techel

Life Lessons from First Time in a Kayak

Early Sunday morning was my very first time out on a kayak. For three years I’d been feeling this nudge inside to get a kayak.

It was mid-winter last year when I mentioned this to my chiropractor and friend, Cindy. And that’s when she told me about inflatable kayaks. I never even knew there was such a thing!

As the weather warmed and the trees began to bud, I answered the call of that nudge and took a leap of faith and invested some money I was gifted to purchase an Advanced Elements Firefly Kayak (with a periwinkle dragonfly and periwinkle stripes), a life vest, a paddle, a pump and a lumbar seat.

There was a small part of me feeling a little resistance to it because I’ve never been taught to swim. In a pool, I feel okay and can “swim” as long as I’m along the edges.

But I didn’t want this fear to stop me because I really wanted to be out on the water in a kayak. Everything about it I’d seen seemed so peaceful and a way to experience nature in a new way.

So for my maiden voyage Sunday morning my friend, Cindy, met me at a beautiful, small lake about five minutes from where I live.

With her guidance and a gentle push from behind, Cindy had me floating in the water within minutes as she followed behind. And away we went!

There was a bit of wind as we started out. She coached me to sit back and straight against the lumbar seat (just like a chiropractor, huh?  🙂  ), and not to dig my paddles too hard or deep into the water and it is all about using your core in a left to right motion that the paddling works best.

It felt awkward at first – just like anything one has never done before. A part of me was wishing we had no wind and perfect conditions for my first time out, as I felt like I was struggling to move ahead in the wind.

But then I remembered what I had taught in the Walking Sticks and Mindful Walking Meditation workshop I’d done the day before with my friend, Rachel.

In mindful walking it is about bringing your mind into the present moment – and just walking without anywhere you need to “arrive.” And when in those moments of just being, taking mindful steps of being present to what is right in front of you, letting go of worries, concerns and struggle…and simply walking with no agenda, but just to walk and enjoy being one with nature.

It occurred to me to do the same while kayaking. I was fighting and struggling against the wind, which caused my body to lean forward and I was digging my paddles into the water harder as if that would help.

But when I let go of the struggle, sat back, and paddled with ease, the ride became so much more enjoyable. I didn’t need to prove anything or strive to make it around the lake in any given time.

While I still need practice with paddling and navigation, once I let go of trying to be perfect my first time out, I simply opened to the experience of what I was going to learn…and thus ended up enjoying the ride so much!

And it didn’t occur to me until several hours later that fear of the water and my not being able to swim never entered my mind while being out on the water. What a lesson in surrendering and trusting!

When I got home about an hour and a half later I was as high as a kite! At one point John said, “You are so happy!” And I was. It felt like such a huge accomplishment to me to do this…and the new found energy had me cleaning out and re-organizing my writing cottage an hour later which I had no previous intention to do!

But time out on that kayak was another lesson about life that to follow the flow is what it’s all about…and when you do how much more your life can flow with ease.

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The Unexpected Life Lesson from an Orange Daylily.

Posted by Barbara Techel

day lilyYesterday morning as my friend, Victoria and I were walking downtown she was sharing with me how she just does not like orange daylilies. She has a clump of them in the garden along the back of her house. But she does not like them because they bloom and last for one day, then the next day they already begin to wither and brown.

I thought about what she said and then related it to life. I said, “I’ll bet even though it only blooms for one day it makes sure to enjoy that one day to the fullest.”

It had me also recalling a funeral I went to years and years ago for a young person who was only in their teens when they died. I remember the minister having two people stand on either side at the front of the church. They were holding a string, each holding an end.  The minister walked up to the string and with his fingers about half inch apart he told us that this is what it looks like in the amount of time we are really here on earth. The remainder of the very long string is eternity. The message was that life is so very short. Just a blip in time. Enjoy it to the fullest.

After breakfast as we walked around town perusing the sidewalk sales, we ran into a mutual friend we had just been talking about earlier, wondering how she was doing.

We sat for about an hour outside a shop on a bench and got caught up the best we could with the three of us and just in the span of an hour. But it was the most enriching hour!

I relayed what I said about the daylily living life to the fullest. Our friend then shared with us something she recently read from a spiritual teacher (not recalling the name right now). But the teacher saying that the way to live each day is that at the end of the day if you have no regrets, and you enjoyed it to the fullest, that when you closed your eyes if you didn’t awake again that you would be okay with that – that you lived that day doing what made you happy.

I thought about these conversations as I lay in bed last night before drifting off to sleep. I truly had the best time with my friend, Victoria celebrating our birthdays, feeling especially happy about our time together. Though there is so much of life I wish to live yet, I felt that if I didn’t awake today, I would have left this world a happy lady.

I think every time I now see an orange daylily I shall recall my time with Victoria, as well as, bumping into our mutual friend, who shared some beautiful wisdom with us. Though the daylily only blooms in full, rich, brilliant orange for a day, the message they carry will always be my reminder to enjoy the present moment. It’s all we have.

Closure in Pet Grief. Interesting Thought Regarding My New Book I’m Working On.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1533 sepia(One of my favorite photos of Joie.  She loved to sit by my screen door in my writing cottage and watch the birds splash in the bird bath right outside the door. )

Thank you to everyone who has emailed me expressing their excitement in the new book I’m working on, which I announced just a few days ago. It really means a lot to me to hear from you whether you are part of  my Facebook community, blog, or are a newsletter subscriber.

The working title is, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause. As with working titles, that means it could change as I get into the heart of writing this book. When I said I’ve just begun, I truly have, with about 4,500 words written so far.

But I must correct myself in that I’ve been working on this new idea much longer than the actual writing, words typed into a word document, as it’s been swirling in my head for a little over two months.  And before that, I always hoped I’d have a new idea after writing Through Frankie’s Eyes, so in essence I never stop “writing.” I’m also starting to lean more toward a subtitle of Finding Meaning in the Pause. Will see as I keep going.

Today I want to write about the idea of closure after the death of a pet, after receiving an email from a loyal blog follower.  She is thrilled about me writing a new book (thank you) and went on to say, “a book that just might provide closure about Joie, because her early passing was a tragedy, and happened at the WORST possible time given how you were Over The Moon, about her being in (the movie) “The Surface”.”

I don’t feel this book is about helping me find closure. Though I felt so unprepared for her sudden death and deeply saddened losing Joie so unexpectedly, I came to eventually find peace, as well as many gifts that revealed themselves when I took the time to really give thought to her life, as well as, her death.  This is what I hope to share in my new book. The gifts that Joie gave me in helping me see a little deeper into myself. How important it is to take time to pause at certain times in our lives. The value and meaning we can gain in being still instead of rushing right back into “doing” again.

I also don’t even know if I truly believe there is such a thing as closure. I go back and forth in my mind about this one. For me, it feels more about finding acceptance and peace. It’s about looking for the gifts my animal friends have given me, whether they were here for a day or twenty years.  No matter the amount of time, when they leave, it is never gets easier to say goodbye.

As I’ve moved through the grieving process of each of my dog’s, I’ve found peace and comfort  in reflecting back on the lessons they taught me.  For me, those lessons never go away, because I am a changed and better person because of what they’ve taught me. I consider these gifts and gifts that continue to be a shining presence in my everyday life. For me, this means they live on always and I feel then there is no closure, but rather, gratitude that I was given the opportunity to be a part of their lives and learn from them.

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