mentoring

Bench Time with John. Making a Difference. Catching the Sunrise.

Posted by Barbara Techel

sunrise eIt has been about three months now since our young friend, Cassy has been renting our lower level from us. I rather hate to even say she is renting from us because she really has become part of our family.

Just about every morning John and Cassy sit together, coffee mugs in hand, and sit on the bench in front of our house. That bench has never gotten so much use in all the years it has sat so still through the seasons.  The stories it could now tell!

Cassy lovingly calls this time “Bench time with John.” While there are times I’d love to join them, my yoga morning time is precious to me. Cassy respects and honors that. Besides, I love the fact that John is able to be there for Cassy in a way that is making a difference in both their lives.

When I married John almost 29 years ago I’ll never forget the pastor saying that I would have to work hard to get John to share his feelings . He tends to hold things in. I also used to kid John that I made him love me and the pets we’ve had because at times he was afraid to let anyone in. But I’ve gotten good at knowing he will tell me things that may be bothering him in due time. His right time. He always does.

I think I can now speak honestly here that John has learned to be more open, not afraid to share his feelings. It has been a beautiful thing to watch unfold over the years. But what really has me in awe is watching how he has been there for Cassy.  He has been in her shoes in the trenches of trying to run a business. He understand the traps, the pitfalls, the triumphs, the passion.

While he is making a difference in the life of Cassy helping steer the ship of her business in a new and positive direction, the difference Cassy has made in his life is hard to put in just the right words. I’ve witnessed a side of John I’ve not seen before. His heart glows through in all he does and says lately. He is really enjoying helping another person succeed.

It can be scary to let another person into your life for fear of expectations and disappointment. Everyone has to be on board with understanding each others quirks and needs. But when things come together as they have with Cassy living with us as well as accepting our guidance, making a difference becomes a beautiful thing for everyone. That difference then ripples out into the world and though we never know where it may land, we trust that it finds its way.

While I don’t get to catch the sunrise as John and Cassy do during their bench time (Cassy got the shot above!), I am warmed full up with love for both of them and the positive impact this time together is having on all our lives.

The Love of a Mother.

Posted by Barbara Techel

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Barb, Cassy and Pat (Cassy’s Mom)

Yesterday we welcomed Cassy’s mom, Pat, visiting from Florida, to our home. But most importantly, Cassy was excited to share with her mom, (and help put her mind at ease) that her new home is a place of comfort, love and security.

Over two months ago we offered Cassy the lower level of our home as she contemplated a major decision regarding her marriage. It was a big decision for John and I to take her in. Never having kids, we value and love our privacy. But we adore and love Cassy, and we wanted to help her. We also believe in her and hope that living with us is just a stepping stone to the rest of her life.

We are not here to make her decisions for her, but hopefully to encourage her and offer guidance so she can thrive and move forward. I do believe it was fate that I met Cassy about four years ago.  No doubt there was a Divine plan in the making that none of us could have ever predicted.

I was a little nervous with Pat coming to see Cassy’s new place. Like Cassy, I hoped her heart would feel better seeing that Cassy is in a good place.  I also wanted her to feel welcome and know that we will never step on the toes of her and her husband who are the most wonderful parents.  While we are here for Cassy in many ways, there is nothing like the love of a mother (and father).

While I’ve often said if I’d had a little girl, I’d have wanted it to be Cassy, I also deeply respect and admire the love between a mom and daughter. I happen to have such a relationship with my own mom. One I consider sacred and beautiful. And though I will never regret my decision to not have kids, I can’t help but have a small twinge in my heart of curiosity of what that would have really been like if I’d had a child of my own.

Cassy living with us these last few months, as well as the friendship that developed between us before this, has me giving thanks though for what I consider just another affirmation that this was to be a part of my journey. To be a mentor. To help a young person in a special way.

Side by side, arms across each others shoulders, John and I following behind, Cassy and Pat stepped into Cassy’s new “home sweet home.”  Pat became overwhelmed with tears as mom and daughter turned to each other and hugged. Pretty soon all our eyes were filled with tears as Pat turned around and said, “Thank you.”

The love of a mother for her daughter is priceless, as is the love a daughter has for her mother. To now know that Pat feels good that her sweet daughter is in a place with people who love and care for her, makes me feel very blessed to be a part of both their lives.  While I will never be Cassy’s mom in the sense of what motherhood is, I promise to do my best to give Cassy the best support I can– so that one day she finds herself strong enough to step into the next leg of her journey.