painting

Out of My Comfort Zone

Posted by Barbara Techel

abstract painting

My first ever abstract painting. I’m not sure what to think, but I’m allowing myself to just ponder what is and what unfolded. And the thing is, I’m just not quite sure. So as one of my good friends taught me and sometimes has to remind me to do…I’m simmering.

I’m taking part in an online class called The Sacred Circle. I was drawn to the title of the class as anything sacred with the word circle usually gets my attention.  🙂 I wasn’t too keen about the abstract part of it but was willing to give it a shot.

I’m not sure abstract painting is my thing. Though I do love the colors I used. But I kept feeling like I wanted to make something I could recognize. Like a bird, or a flower, or something than just splotches of paint. What’s the point of abstract I kept wondering?

I felt uncomfortable. I even started over after I had a bunch of color on the canvas. I just wasn’t feeling it so I put two coats of gesso over it and started again.

I posted my painting in the private Facebook group for the class and the teacher, Denise, said, “Abstract asks us to let go and create.”

Another student said, ” Don’t think too much, enjoy the feeling of it. Even if it feels a bit strange in the beginning.”

Two powerful statements that not only apply to painting but to anything new we try or a challenge we are working through.

I thought about the writing of my latest memoir. How I had to learn to let go and feel my way through the experience of what I was going through last year and working through a wound that needed to be healed. And then I went through it again as I wrote my book. It was, at times, uncomfortable in the middle of it all, both the experience and the writing of it. 

But what I was going through, I’d come to understand, wasn’t something I could logically find an answer for. It was by feeling my way through it even when it felt incredibly strange, painful, and lonely that I now find myself in this new space of freedom within. It no longer feels strange but welcoming as I enjoy this new me that I’ve evolved into.

As I’ve been writing this post, I’ve glanced up a few times at my painting hanging in front of me. I feel it growing on me. I’m actually feeling some delight looking at it. I see the joy in the colors. I feel a swirl of excitement that I gave this a try.

I feel myself letting go of that darn perfectionist part of me. So perhaps this is what it’s all about. 

The definition of abstract: existing in thought or as an idea but not having a physical or concrete existence.

This makes sense. I see what I need to see and feel from the painting, and those who look at it will see and feel what they need to. There is nothing concrete in this painting and only perspective.

Nothing to prove. But to just let go and create and then take part in the evolving of whatever its meant to be.

Hmmmmm, perhaps I do like abstract after all.  🙂

XO,

Barbara

Subscribe here to receive my bi-monthly newsletter which includes a digest of my blog posts, oracle readings, wisdom from the animal kingdom, first to know special offers and more

and/or…

Subscribe here to receive my blog posts as they are published.

Goddess Paintings Now Grace My Studio. They Have Much Wisdom to Share.

Posted by Barbara Techel
Goddess Paintings Now Grace My Studio. They Have Much Wisdom to Share.
artwork by: Barbara Techel

I did it. I painted three large paintings (24 x 48). I kind of can’t believe it.

I always said I couldn’t paint. But then one said wonderful artist, who I also happen to call Mom, inspired and encouraged me to give it a try.

The day spent with my mom a few months ago learning how to do what she calls “paper towel” painting is a memory that fills my soul with love and joy.

“Paper towel” painting is mixing acrylic paints together and then dabbing a scrunched up paper towel into the mixed colors and dabbing it onto the canvas. The ground, middle, and sky portion of each of these paintings is this technique.

I was inspired to do these tree Goddess paintings after seeing another painting that incorporated this idea.

My Joyful Pause Studio where I teach SoulCollage(r) workshops and where I happened to have a very long wall I needed something for was where I knew I wanted my Goddesses to reside.

It’s a space where I want to continue to welcome women to take time for themselves, tune into their own inner wisdom, create, and discover new things about themselves that I hope will help them to live a more meaningful and joyful life.

I felt a wave of emotion surge through me when I hung the last Goddess painting on the wall yesterday afternoon.

It took me some time to complete these paintings and at times I was frustrated. But it also made me think about this new place I’m at in my life which has been something I’ve envisioned for a long time.

Just like times I was frustrated thinking I didn’t know where I was headed, but could sense a new path wanting to emerge, I knew I had to have patience and trust in the process.

Just like doing the paintings. And just like SoulCollage(r) teaches – trusting in our own process-moving to the rhythms of our own inner soul whispers is what I believe we are all being called to do.

I also find myself fighting the urge to say my paintings are not perfect, they could be better — that I am not an artist in this sense.

But I know these are conditions I’ve been taught to believe about myself. And I know they are not true even though I must fight the urge to think so.

I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. I want to continue to grow and learn. I am an artist. I am a Goddess.

A Goddess who wants to continue to stand in her feminine, artistic, womanly wisdom and open her arms to other women seeking to embrace the power of their inner Goddess.

And together we will form a circle of love, joy and peace that will radiate out into the universe and set the planet aglow.

Now didn’t I tell you? These Goddess have much wisdom to share. I, for one, plan to keep paying attention.

—

If you’d like to learn more about my workshops, I have a special page set up on my website for information. You can learn more here.

Thank you for subscribing to my blog updates.

Waiting for My Goddess Painting to Reveal Her Name

Posted by Barbara Techel
Waiting for My Goddess Painting to Reveal Her Name
Waiting for My Goddess Painting to Reveal Her Name

Never did I think I’d paint. And more than that, I never thought I’d say I actually finished a painting!

But I finished this first Goddess in a series of three that I’m working on. They will hang on the long wall in my Joyful Pause Studio where I recently began teaching SoulCollage(r) workshops.

My painting teacher is someone I love dearly…my mom. When I emailed her the photo of my first complete Goddess, I also told her I’d started on the second one. She wrote back and said I should listen very closely and the Goddesses may share their names with me.

I loved it! It actually reminds me much about the SoulCollage(r) process which is also about listening intuitively and collaging images together that speak to you–which, in turn, helps us to better understand ourselves.

I shared with my mom that I’m taking her advice awaiting to hear what my Goddesses names may be. But all I got yesterday after painting for two hours on my second Goddess was hearing this from her:  My arms are too fat and I don’t like the color of my mid-section.

And then I heard my mom’s voice in my head:  It’s only paint and you can paint over it!

And I really wasn’t frustrated that I didn’t have it “right” yet. But it was an interesting thought because I wondered why I get so frustrated with my writing at times. Yet, I’ve not been with painting.

While it was initially scary to put paint to canvas in fear of making a “mistake” I feel better about knowing now I can just go over it with paint if I don’t like what I do.

And aha! Just like I can also delete sentences in my writing that don’t jive right either.

So, indeed, these dear Goddesses are talking to me… boy, are they ever! But, I do hope they will properly introduce themselves soon with their first names.

And ah, once again, a reminder that this is all part of the process. Just add in a bit of patience and perseverance and it all shall come together… just like writing a book or short story.

Thank you for subscribing to my journal posts.