personal growth

When Life Happens (blog)

 

When Life Happens (blog)
A sign of support from the universe

March began with sub-zero temps here in Wisconsin. The bird feeder hanging outside my writing cottage window awaits refilling.  In just two days the birds emptied it with gusto in an effort to stay warm.
 
But the promise of spring is right around the corner.  I hear the drip, drip, drip of melting icicles and snow, the chattering of many birds, and feel the warmth of the sun streaming in through the windows.

I now have a subtitle for my upcoming book! The title as a reminder is, I’m fine Just the Way I Am,” and the subtitle: Healing Emotional Pain through the Wisdom of Animals and Oracles.
 
As I approached the last chapter of the second draft two weeks ago I thought I’d have it complete by the end of the month.

But life had other plans.
 
In the span of two days, I had a family emergency, then learned of a dear friend’s passing which I posted a tribute to her here, and my dog, Gidget required a visit to the vet for a bladder infection.

This had me on the brink of spiraling down the proverbial rabbit hole.
 
Writing this book has been emotional at times, and with recent life events, I realized I was caught in the perpetual fight/flight mode, and turning toward things that weren’t supporting me, but only can keeping me in a scarcity and fearful state.
 
Fortunately, I surround myself with like-minded mentors, and practices that help ground me.

It was the honest sharing in a newsletter I subscribe to from writer and writing coach, Cynthia Morris, who shared her recent fall down the rabbit hole that stopped me from completely getting sucked into the same vortex.
 
I’m also much more aware of my energy these days. So sooner rather than later, I recognized I was being invited to yet again trust in the flow of life, instead of pushing against it, or getting swallowed up by it.
 
My manuscript could wait. It was more important that I spend time tending to my hurting heart, finding my footing again, and incorporating self-care.
 
The truth is that when I’m in a place of emotional pain, such as the loss of my dear friend, and the unexpected family emergency and feeling helpless for a loved one in pain, it’s not easy to just jump right back into my writing. I have to first be with, and process my emotions.

But I didn’t always do this. Instead I’d often just power through because as a society we don’t always value the importance of being with our feelings and taking a time out.
 
Guilt also tried to rear its ugly head trying to scold me that it was bad I wasn’t working on my book, that I didn’t meet my deadline for getting this post up, and that I also didn’t get my monthly animal message recorded by March 1st (though it’s available now and you can listen here).
 
But I had to be with that space of not wanting to really do anything and just be with what I was feeling. I couldn’t push it, while at the same time, trusted that I’d be back to my writing when I was ready.
 
Something I’ve come to understand more and more is how important our emotional state is. While I do my best to eat healthy, exercise, and take supplements, the emotional component is vital to our feeling whole.

This is something I also write about in my upcoming book, and how I finally got to a point of feeling worthy and that my quality of life matters.
 
So staying in alignment with where my heart needed to be was all that mattered. Everything else needed to wait and would fall into place as it was meant to, and it did. The more I trust this, the more I experience peace.
 
And the more I’m able to share from the truth of my beliefs, the more I hope it helps those that need to hear this same message. Because it truly is a gift to give ourselves the space and love we deserve.

XO,

Barbara

Making Space for Vulnerability to Morph into Confidence

Making Space for Vulnerability to Morph into Confidence

There is much in life that requires courage. And just because we may master it once doesn’t mean we won’t have to face it again in some other aspect. It also takes time when we find ourselves facing yet another layer we wish to shed and trusting that courage will be granted to us yet again. It’s building that inner muscle one day at a time that eventually you begin to feel a new strength gaining that you didn’t know you had.

I’m feeling this as I’m closing in on nearing the half-way point of going through the second draft of my manuscript, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am.

When the spark occurred last winter, seemingly out of the blue, as I drove to meet a friend for lunch, that perhaps I could write about the dark period I faced last year, I just wasn’t sure I could do it. It felt so incredibly vulnerable.

But then it began to morph into a possibility that perhaps by sharing my story, it could help someone else. But yet, I just wasn’t sure. And while I began this manuscript mid-way through 2018, there were many days I felt like I was trudging knee deep in muck…slogging through with so many doubts and fear that plagued me step-by-step.

Little-by-little courage started to make itself known which led to a growing confidence in writing this book. My writing flows so much easier these days than when I first began and it feels incredibly good. 

Just yesterday, as I do to each week to help set the tone, I randomly pick an oracle card from Tosha Silver’s deck, The Wild Offering. It’s a deck I have sitting on a small table in my bathroom. Perhaps an odd place you may think to keep an oracle card deck. But I love seeing the card I picked for the week where I can reflect on it several times throughout my day. 

When I finished my writing session this morning, I reflected on this line of the card: “You make space for something larger to take hold.” 

Writing a book I believe takes courage. It has taken for me the willingness to be with my shadows, my pain, and my fears, and to transcend them. While I’ll always be a work in progress and still falter at times, I have a new gained confidence I didn’t have a year ago.

The fear that felt so intensely consuming does not have the terrifying charge it had to it just a year ago. Writing for me is a way in which I’m able to witness myself transform. Going through the second draft, I have this new confidence that is guiding me that I wouldn’t have had, had I not been willing to take the necessary inward journey I did last year.

All of this has contributed to what I believe Tosha’s card is saying that it has made space not only for the evolved me to come through, but by also sharing this with other’s through my writing, may just perhaps allow for someone else to find the courage and confidence they seek to expand into who they wish to be, too.

And then that person holds that new vibrational space for another to do so…and it causes a ripple for yet another and another.

XO,

Barb