pet grief

Almost Two Years Later and Frankie (the walk ‘n roll dog) Continues to Inspire

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_2022Imagine how my heart gushed with love when I read this note today from a little boy named Nate:

“I know it’s late, but I want to tell you it was nice meeting you and Franky. I loved Franky, she was inspiring.”

I had my two-week “tune up” at my chiropractor this morning. It seems that young Nate is also a patient at Dr. Cindy’s office and he left me this note.

Wow. Frankie’s spirit continues to amaze me at how alive and thriving it is in the hearts of many. This is such a gift to me – so much so, I find myself tearing up just writing this post.

Frankie will be gone two years June 21st. Now when I think of her, I sometimes still find myself with tears in my eyes, but now they are joyful tears. How very blessed I was to have that dog in my life— there truly are no words to really explain how she changed me.

Last night I watched the documentary on line that PBS did called “My Bionic Pet.” What a fantastic job they did of sharing that animals with special needs deserve a quality of life, which in turn changes the humans around them. I got choked up a few times watching it, thinking of my work with Frankie, knowing those that experience life with these animals are forever changed for the better.

Nate’s note is also a beautiful reminder of just that and the good work that Frankie did and the legacy she left – and knowing she is living on in the young hearts of many, continuing to inspire them to be the best they can be – well, there is honestly no better definition of success to me than this.

Forever and always I will give thanks to God for the gift of Frankie. I love you girl, and I know you continue to be with me.

Joy Angels: “Greeter for the Animals, All of whom are blessed.”

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_0581Joy Angel, Frankie

I recently ran across this poem about losing a dear beloved pet. It resonated with me on many different levels. I especially loved this line, “Stop thinking, and just feel it. And let love do the rest.”

One thing I continue to be so grateful for before Frankie passed away, is exactly this. I was in the moment of each second, minute, and hour before she passed away. It was a gift to hold her in my arms and thank her for everything she did for me. I set aside the pain and sadness I knew was coming. I knew I would feel it and move through it soon. But in those hours I just wanted to BE with her. Our souls touching, connecting, feeling. Not for one last time, but so that I could recall it and feel it when I need it most.

Frankie, like all animals, truly are Joy Angels, if we can find the courage to let them be just that. Enjoy the poem.

Joy Angels

by Lisa Dingle

I sat still, in the waiting room
My old dog at my feet
Another tear had made its way
Haltingly down my cheek.

I heard a voice, from ‘cross the room
And I realized that she
Was speaking, so very softly
To the old dog, and to me.

“Ah, he’s an old boy, and you’re sad,”
With that much, she had surmised
What we were doing here today
I looked up, into her eyes.

She smiled, just a little bit
She asked me if I knew
Where he was going after this
And my head and heart withdrew.

“I don’t believe in bridges
Made of rainbows.” I softly said
Reaching down to lay my hand
Atop my old dog’s head.

I heard her rising from her chair
She came and knelt beside my boy
And she said she had to tell me
About angels filled with joy.

“Ever since I was a little girl
I’ve been able to see
And talk to those who’ve gone before
And they have talked to me.”

“When a child leaves this world
They have a special place
In the next world they become
‘Joy Angels’, filled with grace.”

“Joy Angels have their pick of roles
And the one that they love best
Is as Greeter for the Animals,
All of whom are blessed.

“For every single animal,
Whether wild or quite tame
It works out every single time
And it’s always just the same.”

“When an animal is entering
The bells begin to chime
And a Joy Angel is right there for them
Every
Single
Time.”

I searched her eyes for some sign
That she did not believe
That she was telling me the truth,
Or that she was naive.

She looked at me, and then my boy
“Can I just suggest… “
“Stop thinking, and just feel it.
And let love do the rest.”

And too soon I was cradling him
Gently in my arms
I told him not to be afraid
Not to be alarmed.

I loved him so very much
He was such a good, good boy
And he had someone waiting for him
An angel, filled with joy.

And when I got home I whispered,
In a house quiet and still,
“Take care of him”, and I swear I heard
A small voice say, “I will”.

Shared today in special memory of friends who have recently lost their beloved pets: For Mary and Weaver, Jodee and Sargent Harvey and Scotty and Maggie.

 

Closure in Pet Grief. Interesting Thought Regarding My New Book I’m Working On.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1533 sepia(One of my favorite photos of Joie.  She loved to sit by my screen door in my writing cottage and watch the birds splash in the bird bath right outside the door. )

Thank you to everyone who has emailed me expressing their excitement in the new book I’m working on, which I announced just a few days ago. It really means a lot to me to hear from you whether you are part of  my Facebook community, blog, or are a newsletter subscriber.

The working title is, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause. As with working titles, that means it could change as I get into the heart of writing this book. When I said I’ve just begun, I truly have, with about 4,500 words written so far.

But I must correct myself in that I’ve been working on this new idea much longer than the actual writing, words typed into a word document, as it’s been swirling in my head for a little over two months.  And before that, I always hoped I’d have a new idea after writing Through Frankie’s Eyes, so in essence I never stop “writing.” I’m also starting to lean more toward a subtitle of Finding Meaning in the Pause. Will see as I keep going.

Today I want to write about the idea of closure after the death of a pet, after receiving an email from a loyal blog follower.  She is thrilled about me writing a new book (thank you) and went on to say, “a book that just might provide closure about Joie, because her early passing was a tragedy, and happened at the WORST possible time given how you were Over The Moon, about her being in (the movie) “The Surface”.”

I don’t feel this book is about helping me find closure. Though I felt so unprepared for her sudden death and deeply saddened losing Joie so unexpectedly, I came to eventually find peace, as well as many gifts that revealed themselves when I took the time to really give thought to her life, as well as, her death.  This is what I hope to share in my new book. The gifts that Joie gave me in helping me see a little deeper into myself. How important it is to take time to pause at certain times in our lives. The value and meaning we can gain in being still instead of rushing right back into “doing” again.

I also don’t even know if I truly believe there is such a thing as closure. I go back and forth in my mind about this one. For me, it feels more about finding acceptance and peace. It’s about looking for the gifts my animal friends have given me, whether they were here for a day or twenty years.  No matter the amount of time, when they leave, it is never gets easier to say goodbye.

As I’ve moved through the grieving process of each of my dog’s, I’ve found peace and comfort  in reflecting back on the lessons they taught me.  For me, those lessons never go away, because I am a changed and better person because of what they’ve taught me. I consider these gifts and gifts that continue to be a shining presence in my everyday life. For me, this means they live on always and I feel then there is no closure, but rather, gratitude that I was given the opportunity to be a part of their lives and learn from them.

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