pet grief

Animal Advocacy. Therapy Dogs. Understanding and Protecting the Nature of Animals.

 

Frankie is happiest when she can be snuggled under a blanket. Silly girl!

Author Jon Katz recently spoke at the North American Veterinarian Conference. He was asked to speak to them because of his new book, “Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die.”

I was esecpially struck by what he said in his blog post about the evening and this particular section:

“I (Jon) said I felt we were projecting to many of our emotional issues onto animals that we were losing track of what it means to be an animal. My belief is that we are coming as a society to worship and rescue animals while almost simultaneously losing respect for people, and for the idea of  rescuing  or even helping them.  Our society is divided about many things, but is nearly universally adoring animals, an interesting phenomenon.  The vets were touchingly sincere about looking for ways to help people. I suggested seminars, blogs, conversations and also asked them to consider redefining the idea of animal advocacy to go beyond the rescued or abused animal and to include understanding, preserving and protecting the real nature of animals. We talked about bringing social workers into practices, expanding the idea of animal hospice – a wonderful idea, I think.”

I really liked his new definition of animal advocacy in regards to understanding, persevering and protecting the real nature of animals. As well as liked the idea of expanding the idea of animal hospice.

So much of what I’ve learned from Jon and his writing has helped me in my own relationships with both my dogs, Kylie and Frankie.

Frankie being a therapy dog and her getting older has brought up many feelings for me. One reader of my blog, Cris, emailed me this past weekend concerned and said she was worried that I was struggling with Frankie aging and my recent post of cutting down on her therapy dog work. While yes, I was struggling, and I appreciate her concern, I am no longer struggling with it. Her email prompted me to want to share more.

I think anyone who has a therapy dog can speak to the deep rewards it offers. There is a bond like no other between you and your pet. Not to say other bonds are less equal, but this bond is just different. You get to witness what joy and love your pet brings to the lives of those that are lonely, sick or dying. It is quite remarkable.

But I think what we have to remember as owners of therapy dogs, is that animals take in other people’s energies so much more than we do. This is where I think what Jon has to say is right on and that we have to understand and protect these animals.  Not only therapy dogs, but all animals as well. But I bring up therapy animals because of the work they do, which we have to always remind ourselves, can be more intense for them, than us.

It seems it is the nature of dogs to love unconditionally, and with that, I really believe they sense other people’s hardship, or sense even greater when someone is dying. It takes much out of them.

Making the decision for Frankie to only do therapy dog work once a month now at the age of 12 1/2 years old was not easy… because I was not ready to let go of all the joy and rewards I’ve experienced in our work together. But I had to think of her first and foremost because this isn’t about me. I’m glad Cris emailed me because it made me realize I have a wonderful opportunity to bring awareness to the value of therapy dogs, but to also remind owners of therapy dogs to pay close attention to their pets and their needs.

I think we all know our dogs best. And if you have a therapy dog I think its vital to pay attention and make sure their needs are being met. Just like humans, we can’t work all the time (especially as we age), or we are drained of our energy. It is the same, or more so, with pets who are therapy dogs and especially those that are getting older.

So yes, dear reader, Cris, I was struggling because of my own fears of letting go on many different levels- but once I reminded myself to put Frankie first the decision became easy and the struggle no longer existed.

Annual Holiday Tradition. Life Uncommon

Every year John and I make a date to drive around in the nearby cities to look at the holiday lights. We bring along our favorite Christmas CD's to add to the spirit of the season. One of our favorite CD's is singer Jewel's holiday CD. We especially like the song, "Life Uncommon." That song evokes deep emotions for both of us.

The holiday after our chocolae Lab, Cassie Jo, died from bone cancer, we were esepcially missing her. The line in the song that says, "set down your chains" had us thinking of her battle with cancer, and how she was now free. Though she really didn't seem to be in pain until the very end, at the end, we knew she struggled. Knowing she no longer had those chains of pain upon her made us happy for her– though we missed her dearly.

That Christmas season, driving around, I received a gift I remember clearly to this day. As the song played, tears streaming down my face lost in the sorrow of no longer having Cassie Jo to hold, I looked out the window and saw her. There was a full moon high in the sky… and there she was running in a field next to me– her ears flying in the wind. She was so happy. I knew then that she would be with me always– and she stopped on by to let me know she was okay. Maybe some wouldn't believe I really saw Cassie Jo, but as the song says at one point, "move out of the way all you unbelievers- there's a new army coming and we are armed with faith" and so it is that I know without a doubt, I saw her. It's all I need.

So every year when we drive around to look at the twinkling lights, I think of Cassie Jo. I no longer see her, but I feel her in my heart. This song is ours- our connection to her spirit- which shines just as brightly as the day we brought her home as a pup.

As we discussed when to do our annual tradition which we did last night John said, "I'm not sure anymore where all the good holiday lighs are." When he worked more on the job sites for his construction business, instead of his home office like he does now, he would see houses lit up at night on his drive home that he wanted to show me. I said, "It's not what matters." To me, it's our time of deep connection- words often not spoken, but there is a spirit of love so full in our car that it is palpable.

Wishing you each a life uncommon this holiday season and beyond….

Elephant Loses Best Friend

Just when we think we humans are the only ones who mourn the loss of our best friends… along comes this story that made me weep many tears, but also rejoice in the compassion and love between this sweet elephant and her best friend. Click on the link below to watch video.

Elephant Loses Best Friend

Thank you to a reader that notified me that there is a children's book about this beautiful duo!