pet grief

Healing Wisdom from a Dog’s Point of View

Posted by Barbara Techel

 

Recently I learned of Maureen Hunter and her blog, Esdeer, Giving comfort, hope, and inspiration…stepping through grief.  She left a comment on one of my blog posts, which led me to finding out who she was.  I love when that happens!

Maureen offers coaching sessions for grief, as well as programs to help those grieving the loss of their beloved ones.

She has a section on her blog titled Animal Healing, which of course, intrigued me.  I loved her post titled, “Doggies Words of Wisdom for Healing.”  I asked for her permission to reprint for you, my readers. Permission granted, so please enjoy.  Thank you, Maureen!

 

  • If someone you love is hurting, stay loyal and hang around a bit
  • Trust me, there’s not a lot that can’t be fixed by a bit of licking and an affectionate nuzzle
  • Enjoy the simple things each day… like sticking your head out the car window
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want, even if you have to bark loudly
  • Never say no to an outing, even if you don’t know where you’ll end up
  • Trust your intuition- you can tell alot about others by how they smell
  • If you need some space… growl softly
  • The restorative power of a nap is sorely underestimated
  • Sometimes I love you, sounds like Arrrrowwwoowww
  • If no one is paying attention to you, fart quietly in their direction- you need all the help you can get
  • If all else fails, wag your tail!

 

 

Saying Goodbye to Two Dear Animal Friends: Part One

Posted by Barbara Techel

The past few weeks have been a bit difficult with two dear animal friends in my life who went to the Rainbow Bridge.  It is oh, so hard, to lose our own, but I’ve lost two critter friends that were like family to me.  Though my heart breaks for the loss of each of them, I feel so blessed to have had each of them in my life.

So I say goodbye to Sunshine and Kirby.  Today I share Sunshine with you and Wednesday, the 26th I will share Kirby.

SUNSHINE


Sunshine, the handsome, regal, Maine Coon Cat who was one of the most loving cats I have ever known. Early today, while in my mom’s arms, he took his last breath.  He was only 7-years old. He was my mom’s cat and the best kitty brother a girl could ever ask for.

For quite a few years every winter for 6-8 weeks Sunshine would stay with me while my mom and her husband were in Florida.  He always made himself perfectly at home and I loved that he felt so comfortable with us.

One year he stayed with me a few months after I had lost my cat Dani, so it was so comforting to have a cat hang out with me in my big chair when I read.  He and Frankie just loved to snuggle and play together!

(I always loved this photo of the two… as if Frankie is saying, “Mom can we PLEASE keep him?  I love him so much!)

Frankie was head over heels in love with Sunshine!  And it is because of Sunshine that nine months after Frankie’s IVDD diagnoses, that she begin to try and walk.  She so wanted to be wherever Sunshine was, so when not in her wheelchair she started to “hop” like a rabbit to be near him.  I attribute her on and off hopping to this day to Sunshine.  Thank you so much, Sunshine.

Sunshine was diagnosed with kidney disease a few months ago and my mom thought she would have more time with him yet, as kidney disease can progress slowly.  But in a recent exam tough news came that Sunshine had an enlarged heart with a blood clot that could move at any moment.  He would be leaving sooner than we anticipated.

I asked if I could please come say goodbye.  He was a part of me and my life and I just needed to let him know I loved him one more time.

Saying goodbye to Sunshine with my mom’s dogs, DollyJo (left) and Charley looking on.

My mom said Sunshine was spending most of his time in his bed since his heart disease diagnoses and was not eating much. The day I visited he let me hold him.  Then he sat near my chair and I felt as if he knew I was there to say goodbye.  I held him one more time and then he decided it was time to head back to his bed.

So as yesterday came towards a close and my mom grappled with making the right choice for Sunshine, he no longer would take food or water.  And my mom said as she looked into his eyes she saw he was no longer “here.” She knew it was time.  She had a dream that night that Sunshine was with his sister Missy in heaven.  As she got to the vet and was waiting in the vet room to have him put to sleep, she was holding him, when he died in her arms.

Though it so hard to say goodbye there is such comfort and peace that came from the signs that appeared to help my mom know it was ok.

We all want to know when it is the “right time” and so often there is no answer to that question even when we look to others for guidance. It is something we must open our hearts to, though we know it will cause great pain… but that pain means we love and we feel joy and are so alive. And for me, I wouldn’t trade any of it… the love, the joy, the pain, and the heart break.

Sunshine was truly a beautiful soul.  I wish everyone could have known him.  He was one of a kind, and will be greatly missed.  But my dear little Maine Coon friend, I feel you in my heart, swishing that magical tail of yours against my heart strings, and I know you will always be with me… and with all those who loved you.

Many blessings to you in your new journey, my friend.  I’ll take good care of Mom till we all meet again.

For more information on cardiac problems in Maine Coon cats, which is on the rise, here is an article discussing this disease.

Euthanasia: How to Know When it is Time

Posted by Barbara Techel

Thank you to Ingrid King and the Conscious Cat for allowing me to repost this post about knowing when it is time to say goodbye.  I thought it was so well said.

 

Making a decision about whether or when the time is right for euthanasia is one of the hardest things someone loving a pet will ever go through. Unlike human medicine, veterinary medicine is fortunate to be able to legally offer the option of gently ending suffering when there seems to be no hope for recovery. It is a difficult decision to make at best, and it can be nearly impossible for some pet owners. There are so many factors that play into it. The term that is used the most in this context is “quality of life.” But what does that really mean? Are there hard and fast rules as to what constitutes good quality of life? Of course not. Quality of life means something different for every person, and for every animal.

There are some fairly obvious markers. Pain is one of them. No pet owner wants to see a beloved pet suffer. Animals, especially cats, are masters at masking pain, so this can be difficult to detect. Another marker is appetite. For most pet owners, the first indication that something is wrong is usually when a pet stops eating. A third important marker is dignity. Is the pet still able to relieve herself on her own, or does she need assistance with urination and defecation?

But even these three markers are not always helpful when trying to make a decision. Pain can be managed with medication. Some pets stop eating or eat very little but are still happy and are enjoying life. And who is to say that the dog that needs assistance with being carried outside to urinate or the cat who needs help to get into the litter box and needs to be cleaned off afterwards does not appreciate this level of care from his loving human and is otherwise happy and content?  Each pet is different, and each relationship between human and animal is unique.  There is no one right answer.

It is often said that making the decision to euthanize a pet is the final gift of love we can give our animals. I wholeheartedly believe that, but it still does not make the decision process any easier. Love and denial can be intricately linked, and it can sometimes be difficult to separate one from the other.

It is often said that we will just “know” when the time is right.  And I believe that when we do connect with the essence of our animals and manage to set aside worry and fear for even just a few moments at a time, we will know.  It takes courage to set aside our fears, and to tune in to the animal and really “hear”  them.  Ultimately, the only way any of us can make this decision is by listening to our animal friends with our hearts, not with our heads. It becomes a decision of love, not something to be reasoned out on an analytical and intellectual level.