Hair. Oh, how at times I’ve been upset with myself that I’ve spent so much time fussing and worrying about mine (and the money I’ve spent!). But I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten better over the years — and even more so most recently as I’ve taken a big leap in accepting what I have.
It all began a few months ago when I found a hairstyle I wanted to try. It was a kind of kinky/curly style and I thought I’d have to get a perm. But the gal, Missy, who styles my hair talked me out of it saying a perm wouldn’t be good for my type of hair. While I really wanted a perm and was disappointed, I did appreciate her honesty and looking out for me.
The next time I went in for a cut, Missy showed me how to work with my hair…and wa la, I have curls. And I’m having so much fun with it!!– especially running into family and friends since I’ve welcomed my curls. Everyone thinks I’ve gotten a perm. When I say, “turns out I have curls” they are in disbelief. “You mean you’ve had curly hair all along and you straightened it?” is the response I’ve been getting often.
I’ve always known I’ve had a bit of a wave to my hair, and while I never had it professionally straightened, I would blow dry it out every other day with a brush and then curl it with a big curling iron. So in all honesty, I never knew my hair could curl like it does. I was too busy fighting to make my hair what I wanted it to be, instead of working with what I already had.
A few weeks ago when I had my hair cut again and Missy brought out my curls again, a gal came into the salon I’d worked with years ago at Kohl’s. She commented on how cute my hair looked and said, “I didn’t realize you had curly hair.”
“Well, I have a wave in my hair.”
Missy said, “Barb… you have curly hair.”
“I do? Really?” I said, still not really believing it.
And that’s when she told me over 65% of women have curly hair according to a book by Lorraine Massey called Curly Girl: the handbook.
The thing is, I’d always wanted long, blonde, straight hair. I bought into the belief that this is what is “sexy” and what every man likes. So all this time I struggled with trying to have something I’d never have.
But no more… because quite honestly, I’m having so much fun as a curly girl! And I have to say I agree with my best friend, who says my curls really fit my bubbly personality.
And it truly is more than about my hair as I go below the surface. It’s about accepting another part of myself, about letting go of a belief I bought into, of worrying about “fitting in,” and that I wouldn’t be a “pretty” as defined often by society…. but most of all, it was about my own insecurity.
While my curly hair does not take much effort on my part…and I’m loving it and having so much fun… it’s been the letting go of, and accepting what is, where the true freedom is.
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