transition

On Winter Egg Trees, Transition, and Working with Spirit of Horse

Posted by Barbara Techel
On Winter Egg Trees, Transition, and Working with Spirit of the Horse
Photo: Pam Kachelmeier

I spent the morning yesterday at a colleague’s home, Pam, planning a workshop she and I will be co-facilitating in June called Connecting with Your True Nature through the Spirit of Horse and SoulCollage®. 

We’ve been in the planning stages for this since mid-January and I’m really excited about it. We take turns and go between my writing cottage and her place out in the country as we work through all the details that go into planning a half day workshop.

I love the drive to her place and smiled when I pulled up to her driveway yesterday to see the tree at the end of the drive decorated with Easter eggs. It wasn’t yet snowing and I took a picture of the tree.

But by the time I left two hours later it had begun to snow and later that afternoon Pam took a photo of the egg tree in the midst of the snowstorm, which we are still in the middle of today.

I share Pam’s photo above as I love the contrast of the bright colored eggs and the blustery, snowy weather blowing through the picture.

It also reminds me that this is how life is. It ebbs and flows and evolves. This tree is likely not confused, but knows that spring will soon return and the eggs will gently sway soon enough in a warm, spring breeze.

It patiently waits knowing this too shall pass and it’s branches will bud once again.

And I couldn’t help but think this is how my life feels lately, too. For three years being in transition, not sure what direction I was heading next, at times felt like I’d never find a new path. And many days I had this internal storm as I worked through many different feelings.

But I find myself in a new place of fulfilling avenues I’m planning and pursuing such as this workshop with Life Coach, Pam. I feel so blessed to be working side-by-side with her.

And when I look back, it seems like that three years went so fast and are a distant memory now. Just like the snow upon the tree decorated with Easter eggs which will soon be free of the heavy snow and replaced with the feathery and light leaves of spring and summer.

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Bursting through the Layers

Posted by Barbara Techel
Bursting through the Layers
Gidget

For three years I felt in transition. While at the same time, I saw myself getting to where I am now — though I wasn’t quite sure how “getting here” was going to happen.

I’ve got so many wonderful opportunities happening right now. It makes the time of transition now feel like it went fast, though when I was in it, it was difficult at times to trust the process– and how I fought to not just push it along so I could move past feeling uncomfortable.

My faith was being called upon often during those many months of feeling I’d lost my way– but really, what I learned and had to practice (and still am practicing!) was allowing my path to unfold organically. I had to learn to let go of control.

Much of this I’ve been writing about in my new book called, “Wisdom Found in the Pause.” The process of writing this book has been a practice in itself also of allowing and not forcing it out into the world until it feels ready– but I feel closer to that point now than ever before.

I’ve come to realize that I had to experience what I call the “full circle” of transition. There were many layers I had to work through – some took longer than others — and there are many layers of which I still must work through. And as author Joan Anderson says, we are “unfinished” women. I love that because it means we just have that much more to explore and learn about ourselves– and it’s what life is all about.

Of late, I’ve had this burst of feeling on purpose and in align with right where I should be–something that eluded me since Frankie passed away in 2012.

Though I admit, I find myself worrying about the one thing I want to let go of– and that is balance. Not that I don’t want balance in my life, because I do — but trying not to control it — but to let my life bring me the special opportunities that feed my soul and know this is right where I’m supposed to be– and trust the rest always works out.

As I contemplated so many of these thoughts this morning, brushing my teeth, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.

It was dear, sweet, Gidget peeking around the corner from the bedroom looking at me as I was deep in thought.

A burst of pure love washed over my heart and brought me right back to center. I sensed she was reminding me to ride the waves of these wonderful new feelings and opportunities coming my way, while at the same time, she was here to remind me that I could slow down when I need — and everything will still work out.

I was grateful for that connection in that moment of what is the ebb and flow of life. And how grateful I am to be in this time right now of bursting through yet another layer of who I am and where I want to go.

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We celebrated 60 days Monday, the 15th of Miss Gidget having no seizures! Woo hoo!

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Writing a Book is Messy. Where I’m At.

Posted by Barbara Techel
Writing a Book is Messy. Where I'm At.
My faithful writing companion, Gidget.

I’ve heard this phrase three different times the last few weeks- “writing a book is messy.” Once in a blog post, once in a podcast and once in a webinar.

It’s exactly how I’ve felt since starting my second memoir, which I began in the winter of 2013. While there have been many rewarding moments writing it, most of the time it has been messy.

I’ve wanted to quit a thousand times.

I’ve had to learn to accept this- it has been a tug and pull much of the time. My two children’s books and my first memoir (for the most part) came much easier for me to write than this new book I’ve been working on.

A part of me wanted to share more of the process with you sooner, but the other part of me was, honestly, too afraid to say anything. Afraid I may disappoint others if I don’t finish this book.

But today I completed another round of editing of the third draft of “Wisdom Found in the Pause.” I’m feeling way more clarity about it than I have in a long time.

The book feels like two parts—the first part of my time with Joie, my second dog with IVDD and in a wheelchair, who I adopted from Oregon Dachshund Rescue. As many of you know, I had to help her cross over ten short months after she came into my life.

It threw me completely off. Though honestly, looking back, I realized I had been off for quite some time, but was too afraid to look at why.

The second part is that Joie’s death was my wake-up call to sit with all the uncomfortable feelings I had at the time. Joie’s gift while beautiful while she was here, and I got to love and care for her, her deeper gift came after she was gone.

It was then that I discovered a new definition of purpose that I’m much more comfortable with. I learned how to sit in stillness and silence. I learned to see transition as a necessary part of life.

The messy part of writing this book has been trying to convey my time of solitude which was a sabbatical for me, into a book others will want to read – but more than that – how it can help others.

But over the past three months, since devoting more time to working on the manuscript, I have more hope that his messy business of writing a book- this new book – may just turn into the real deal.

Lastly, I’ve had huge fears around the idea that this book will not be “as good as” my first memoir, Through Frankie’s Eyes. How do I top my journey with Frankie and how that book has touched many lives? That fear has stopped me in my tracks as I’ve worked through the trenches of my not-so-pretty, but real fears.

The fears are now beginning to subside. I see a journey that is still much the same, but evolving—a new way to touch other’s lives through this new book. I have hope…

and this is where I’m at.

Creativity is a crushing chore and a glorious mystery.  –Elizabeth Gilbert, #BigMagic

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