transitional times

Dragonfly Shares an Important Message About Transitional Times

There is a still spot in the center of transformation, a space in which we are betwixt and between — not really what we were, but not yet what we will become. Neither here nor there, this nor that, we touch the infinite expansiveness of creative potential. ~Dawn Brunke

In my last blog post I shared about how I’m feeling in the autumn of my life and how a friend lovingly said (about my almost fifty-nine years of age), “You’re only in August.” I’m still chuckling every time I think about her saying that.

After writing that post I read the above quote in a newsletter written by my friend Dawn. It struck me and confirmed for me yet again how yes, I may not quite be in the autumn of my life, though I feel myself gravitating toward it as it feels like a welcome space in which I want to inhabit.

This morning I was thinking of my same friend who said I’m only in August, and who is now two weeks from retiring. It’s been a trying last few years for her with her work. At times it has been painful to witness what she has gone through. But there is no doubt it is time for her to move into a new phase of her journey.

So thinking about her today as the countdown to her final days at her job is here, I decided to pull an oracle card for her as a way to show her some support as she begins to wind down and open herself to a new way of being.

The card I pulled is Time for a Nap from The Wisdom of the Oracle.

It couldn’t be more fitting. 

I took the card outside and posed it in a pot of pansies (one of my friend’s favorite flowers) and took a photo of it. I then texted it to my friend with a supportive message.

After I’d taken the picture, I noticed a dragonfly sitting on a post of our deck and positioned between two of the rail spindles.

It seemed so very still. I walked around the deck so the sun would be against my back so I could try and get a photo of it, yet, it still hadn’t moved.

I took the picture but felt concerned that perhaps it had died right where it was. However, I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to disturb it.

Curious about the stillness of the dragonfly I did a search on the internet. I discovered that dragonflies will rest after digesting a meal or it also said that they will gather energy from the warmth of the sun in order to fly off again.

It was then I realized that Dragonfly was confirming the card I’d just pulled for my friend who will soon retire. Soon she will have time to rest, reflect, regenerate and welcome a new way of being. This will no doubt will create a shift in her energy as she has felt depleted in many ways from her job.

She is excited about potential creative outlets she wishes to give thought to and pursue and will soon be able to dedicate more energy to that. But after working all her life, supporting herself as a single woman, it will take time to digest this new way of being before moving forward.

Rest will be important and thus my friend is now in this space Dawn so beautifully captured in these words:

There is a still spot in the center of transformation, a space in which we are betwixt and between — not really what we were, but not yet what we will become. Neither here nor there, this nor that, we touch the infinite expansiveness of creative potential.

This space of ‘betwixt and between’ can at times feel uncomfortable when we’ve been so used to going, going, going, or living our lives in a certain way we’ve grown comfortable with (though often when truthfully examined we realize it was a numb comfortable). The Time for a Nap card is the needed reminder that in order to truly know what is next for our journey, rest is vital to allow the next step to naturally and organically flow into our life.

While this plays out for my friend, and I feel it in many ways for myself too, I believe there are so many of us in this same liminal space. So I believe Dragonfly wanted me to share this with you so that we can all appreciate this in-between time that eventually reveals new growth and a deepening of understanding of all the phases of life.

Thank you, dear Dragonfly, for sharing your wisdom with us.

XO

Barb

                  

Transitioning to Work at Home. Valuing It As Sanctuary and Who I Am

My little space of peace

It was literally written in the stars (and planets) that I’d come to value my home as my safe harbor. I say this because I have three planets in the sign of cancer. Beauty, comfort and a safe place to express myself fully is high on my list of self-care.

I wanted to share more about my transition from the corporate world to working from home in hopes it will help those feeling uneasy about the fact they may now be working from home while we learn to navigate these uncertain times. And who knows when we move through this time, it may be something others may want to put more permanently in place. I see so many advantages to this. And perhaps this is a time of reflection and re-evaluating what you really want moving forward.

It was in the early ’90s when I was making decent money working at a local resort. It was also during that time I thought my worth was dependent on showing I’d ‘made it.’ During that time I purchased a sportscar and made the payments myself from the money I’d earned. But it wasn’t long afterward that the joy of that faded.

Fast forward to 1999 and an angst inside me was growing stronger by the day. I wanted out of the corporate world. It just didn’t fit with what I was feeling. And just to be clear, I don’t have anything against working in the corporate world, it just became clear to me that this wasn’t where I was meant to be.

There was a part of me that was scared though to make a change. How would John and I make it without my income? He’d just started a construction business four years prior. But there was another part of me that was willing to do what it took to make the changes to work from home.

So I started slowly. I left my job at the resort and worked part-time for John’s construction business and part-time for another local construction business. Until I was let go a few short years later from the latter. I remember how devastated I was. Mortified is more like the word. I’ve always considered myself to have a strong work ethic, so this was a blow to my ego.

But it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise. While I still continued to work part-time for John, this niggle of not feeling fulfilled and not understanding why would eventually lead me to a life coach in 2005. Through that deep dive of exploration, I’d explore becoming a writer. And well, if you’ve followed me for some time, two children’s books later, many blog posts and newsletters written I was living the life of a writer.

It took me time to find my groove working from home. In the beginning, I had strict rules for myself. I had to stay in my office, or what I fondly call my writing cottage— a 10 x 12 space that John built for me— as if I were at a nine-to-five job. I’d be upset with myself if I wasn’t in my cottage by 9 am. 

What I’d come to realize over time that these were things that were conditioned into me. And I’d discover that this was really all about trusting myself. Working from home meant I was now entirely accountable for myself and that I was solely responsible for making sure I’d accomplish the tasks I’d set for myself.

From 2008-2012 I was working harder than I ever had in my life as I promoted my children’s books and along with my sidekick, my disabled dachshund, Frankie, who was in a wheelchair, we’d visit 400 schools and libraries, plus accomplish over 250 visits as a therapy dog team to local facilities.

And just as Frankie slowed down and then passed away in June of 2012, and I finished writing my first memoir, I was feeling strongly another transition occurring for myself. But again, as was my pattern, I ignored it. It being is that I no longer wanted to be out in the public eye in the way that I had been. I wanted to spend even more time at home.

When I finally faced up to the fact I needed to take a time-out I took the leap and made the decision to take a sabbatical for one month, perhaps two. As I mentioned in the intuitive oracle reading I recorded yesterday, the first two weeks of my sabbatical I about jumped out of my skin! It felt so uncomfortable moving from a fast pace to a pace of learning to just be and really listen to what my heart was trying to convey to me.

As I’d eventually share in my second memoir, journaling and using oracle cards to bring about new perspectives were two tools I used to help me as I moved from feeling anxious to find more peace within. I’ve never regretted that decision. It would end up being a beautiful time in my life, just like the experience I had with Frankie and the work we did all those years, too.

But what I’ve come to understand in times of uncertainty and those of transitional times, is to look for the gifts. There is a treasure hidden within if we take the time to really explore and be with it and not let fear take hold.

And I remember when a local TV station interviewed me at my writing cottage when all the rage was about ‘She Sheds,’ though in all honesty I never cared for the term. As with all things, there were some that find the concept of a space of one’s own as not necessary, but I was eager and passionate to express what my space has meant to me.

Being in the comfort of my home and my writing cottage has helped me grow beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself. It has been my soft landing of where I can feel free to be me. And the more I move deeper into this space of appreciating and loving myself for who I am, the more I can bring that out into the world in my own unique way.

So perhaps, just perhaps, there is something here that will be of value and to give thought to as we practice for at least another month this physical distancing and working from home. I’ve definitely found many gems with this and if this is speaking to your heart, I hope it will encourage you to find a way too. And if I can be of support for any transition you find yourself in, please feel free to reach out to me.

xo,

Barbara