turning 50

Forward March to 50: I Am Not My Body.

Posted May 2, 2013 by Barbara Techel

Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month until July 18th I will be sharing my thoughts about turning 50, which I will celebrate on July 18th… and yes, I said Celebrate!

The above photo was a Christmas gift to John in 1992. I was 29-years old. My mom was playing around with photography back then so she offered to take the photo for me. She also made the dress, which I still have, though I doubt it still fits. I loved that dress! And, of course, she made me, so this photo is special in so many ways.

As I look at that photo today, which I still have hanging in our bedroom, I really don’t recognize myself. Though I do recall very vividly how insecure I was about my looks, my body, etc. When I look at it today I could kick myself for being so hard on myself. All the years I wasted with negative self talk which was often going round and round in my head. Why? I wonder.

And today it happened again as I took some time out to visit a second hand clothing shop for a few new things to update my wardrobe. I stood in the dressing room looking in the mirror, beating myself up for what I didn’t like that I saw reflecting back at me. It took me a few moment to realize what I was doing. I told myself to stop it.

I reminded myself of how far I’ve come. How much I have to be grateful for. I am healthy, have a fantastic husband, soul fulfilling friends, a family that loves me, dogs I adore, and a purpose that makes me happy to get up each morning. I am not my body. It is my soul and my heart that I want others to see.

I remind myself to turn off the negative talk– as that is all it is and it is only what society has deemed what women should look like of images that flash through my mind. It is not reality. We shift and re-shape as we move along the aging path.

We are not our body. We are so much more. Rinse and repeat.

Me today at almost 50! Not bad, lady… not bad.

Forward March to 50: Feeling Good in My Own Skin

Posted April 18, 2013 by Barbara Techel

Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month until July 18th I will be sharing my thoughts about turning 50 which I will celebrate on July 18th. And yes, I said, celebrate!

I ran into a high school classmate yesterday who attended the Rotary Club meeting where I was their featured speaker. Part of my talk was about a theme in my book about how ordinary issues can stop us from living our best life. For me, those issues were shyness, lack of self-confidence and worrying what others think of me.

While some of these issues still surface in my everyday life, I find myself so much more comfortable in my own skin. My classmate and I talked for a bit afterwards as she shared with me that she thought my book would be good for her 21 and 24 year old. Her daughter struggling with the same issues as I talked about. We both agreed we feel so much more comfortable in our own skin, and wished that for young people. While yes, some of this comes with age and gained wisdom, we wondered how this could be taught to younger kids.

Maybe it can, and maybe it can’t. I don’t know for sure. But I do believe it is part of why I feel passionate about embracing turning 50 three months from today. I want to be a positive example to our younger generation. My classmate and I both also said that we wished we had known now what we didn’t know then. I don’t know if that can truly ever be–but I do believe it can start with being an example that getting older is not such a bad thing.

Yes, it has its challenges, that there is no doubt. And it is hard to watch our parents, friends, and family age if they are not well, and struggling. But I think of the many who have a great life, minor health issues, and they complain about their age or getting older. It seems such a shame.

Maybe I’ll eat my own words as I continue to age, but for me, I want to continue working on my own self growth as well as my spirituality, which helps me through the twists and turns of life… not to mention, staying in awareness of what my pets teach me and applying that to my own life.

Just a note that my Joyful Paws Jaunt Blog Tour continues tomorrow with a stop at Dr. Diane Dike’s radio program Second Chance with Saving Grace. Show begins at 11:00am CST- Wheelchair Bound Dachshund – Frankie – Teaches Important Lessons .

Forward March to 50: Two Things My Mother Forgot to Warn Me About When Getting Older

Posted April 4, 2013 by Barbara Techel

Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month until July 18th I will be sharing my thoughts about turning 50 which I will celebrate on July 18th. And yes, I said, celebrate!

Today I want to share two things my mother forgot to tell me about aging. Let’s just begin with saying, turkey and mirrors. Maybe if you’ve already experienced these dirty little secrets you will know what I am talking about. But for those of you who haven’t, let me explain.

#1 of things my mother forgot to warn me about…

I was in my early forties when I encountered the trick a mirror played on me. I had been moving things around in our bedroom. I had a decorative mirror I took down from the wall and laid it on the bed until I could figure out where I would place it next (I think I heard a gasp and “Oh no! Not the mirror affect!)

Happy as could be, in my element of re-decorating, I was my joyful little self re-arranging things. It was then time to hang the mirror as I had found a wonderful new spot for it. I bent over the mirror to pick it up, while glancing down. Now this gets rather ugly, so if you are squeamish you might want to stop reading. But there in the mirror was someone I didn’t recognize! All the skin that stayed somewhat firm on my face when I stood vertical, was now a saggy, sloppy mess hanging from the bones of my face– or so it appeared to be. Was this just an illusion?

Illusion or not, it was my first glimpse into skin that was once so taut, was now heading south– and I don’t mean to Florida or a warmer climate. It was heading south without flip flops or a straw hat. It was not going on vacation, but will be around for some time to come. I won’t know how far south it will travel in the next few years as I continue to get older. But if I am lucky, and have my mom’s genes, I’ll be doing pretty good.

#2 of things my mother forgot to warn me about…

I’ve witnessed first hand the turkey affect on many people. Though never did I think it would happen to me. I’ve done my best to stay healthy, eat as well as possible, and stay in shape. But the turkey visited me this past early winter.

It was a blustery day and a turtleneck was in order to keep me warm. I pulled down my favorite black one that always fit snug around my neck. I pulled it over my head and the coziness enveloped me… that is, until I looked into the mirror. That dang mirror again! And this time it had a new surprise for me.

As I turned my head to the side I wondered what that was on my neck? Taking my forefinger and feeling as if this was all a dream, I bravely flicked what seemed to be loose skin hanging under my chin! One flick to the right and it jiggled a bit like jello. Another flick to the left and again it jiggled. I stretched my neck and stood as tall as I possibly could to see if it would disappear. No such luck– it still jiggled.

What if I held my head real still, I wondered? Would anyone notice? After much back and forth I ripped off the turtleneck and threw it back on the shelf. I argued in my head I should just throw the darn thing away. Nah, I thought. I’m just having a bad neck day. Two days later I tried again. That darn turkey wasn’t leaving, I could tell. I either had to accept it or live in misery. I decided to accept fate as it was, though wondering why on earth my mother never warned me about this?

Well let me tell you, she had one darn good chuckle when I shared the news with her. And I laughed too. And we agreed that whoever made mock turtlenecks knew what they were doing. It was time. There was a rainbow of mock necks waiting for me. I stood tall and proud. I could do this.

And so it is. Turkey and mirrors. Though initially hard to face these things, I don’t dwell on them and do try to find some humor in it all. I’m also reminded of how to truly live life through the eyes of my dogs. Joie in her wheels her little legs wobbly under her. Kylie who has a large fatty tumor on her belly that sways back and forth when she walks. And now me with my jiggly turkey neck and gravity pulling me closer to the earth. We are the land of the misfits. None of us perfect, but all of us happy and in the moment of each others company.

I can’t control the aging process but I can control my attitude. So I say, Forward March to 50!

” . . . and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror… ~Shane Koyczan