“wisdom found in the pause

Bursting through the Layers

Posted by Barbara Techel
Bursting through the Layers
Gidget

For three years I felt in transition. While at the same time, I saw myself getting to where I am now — though I wasn’t quite sure how “getting here” was going to happen.

I’ve got so many wonderful opportunities happening right now. It makes the time of transition now feel like it went fast, though when I was in it, it was difficult at times to trust the process– and how I fought to not just push it along so I could move past feeling uncomfortable.

My faith was being called upon often during those many months of feeling I’d lost my way– but really, what I learned and had to practice (and still am practicing!) was allowing my path to unfold organically. I had to learn to let go of control.

Much of this I’ve been writing about in my new book called, “Wisdom Found in the Pause.” The process of writing this book has been a practice in itself also of allowing and not forcing it out into the world until it feels ready– but I feel closer to that point now than ever before.

I’ve come to realize that I had to experience what I call the “full circle” of transition. There were many layers I had to work through – some took longer than others — and there are many layers of which I still must work through. And as author Joan Anderson says, we are “unfinished” women. I love that because it means we just have that much more to explore and learn about ourselves– and it’s what life is all about.

Of late, I’ve had this burst of feeling on purpose and in align with right where I should be–something that eluded me since Frankie passed away in 2012.

Though I admit, I find myself worrying about the one thing I want to let go of– and that is balance. Not that I don’t want balance in my life, because I do — but trying not to control it — but to let my life bring me the special opportunities that feed my soul and know this is right where I’m supposed to be– and trust the rest always works out.

As I contemplated so many of these thoughts this morning, brushing my teeth, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.

It was dear, sweet, Gidget peeking around the corner from the bedroom looking at me as I was deep in thought.

A burst of pure love washed over my heart and brought me right back to center. I sensed she was reminding me to ride the waves of these wonderful new feelings and opportunities coming my way, while at the same time, she was here to remind me that I could slow down when I need — and everything will still work out.

I was grateful for that connection in that moment of what is the ebb and flow of life. And how grateful I am to be in this time right now of bursting through yet another layer of who I am and where I want to go.

—

We celebrated 60 days Monday, the 15th of Miss Gidget having no seizures! Woo hoo!

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Being Open to Unexpected Messengers that Cross Your Path

Posted by Barbara Techel
Being Open to Unexpected Messengers that Cross Your Path
Some of my writing companions when home in my Zen writing cottage

I had time to kill between an early morning meeting Tuesday at a coffeehouse before my scheduled talk with a book club two and half hours later at the same place.

Taking advantage of getting some writing done away from home I settled into a spot with my laptop on a small table and looking out over the river. The winds were howling and leaves danced outside the large glass windows as I held a hot cup of orange blossom tea to warm my hands and insides.

As much as I wanted to work on my book, Wisdom Found in the Pause, I found myself procrastinating. It was also my 31st wedding anniversary and I was feeling the pull to write a blog post about it – a thought having just flickered across my mind.

I honored my impulse and after sharing my post on Facebook, I got caught up in what else was happening in the world according to Facebook.

A few moments later I looked up to see a gentleman I know coming down the stairs from the loft that is part of the quaint coffeehouse.

I waved and he walked over. We chatted a few moments about life in general and he asked me if John was busy with his construction business. He then asked me if I was working on a new book. I told him, that yes, I am.

While I don’t know him all that well, the few times I’ve had the pleasure of talking with him, he is one of those people who really listens when someone talks. I’ve just always sensed that in him and it’s such a gift.

I shared with him how it is two years this month since I began, taking me longer to finish than my other books have.

He said, “Well, I imagine, writing the way you do, sharing your feelings and thoughts which are so personal, it can’t always be easy and takes time to work through.”

I swear he was reading my mind as this has been how I’ve felt writing this book, even more so than my first memoir.

He offered the advice that he felt this was likely part of the process as a way in which I worked – getting comfortable in writing what I have and getting ready to feel comfortable in releasing it for others to read.

He was spot on. As I’ve written recently here I’m understanding more about my own process and getting comfortable in what is right for me – not necessarily how others may write or publish – but how it fits for me.

I also often revisit why I write. While yes, I never want to lose money publishing, and of course, as most people who write a book would like to make a little money from sales, I write because it is how I process things.

If what I write can help another person, well, that is what makes my work most fulfilling and rewarding. When this occurs, it lights me up inside to keep on going.

After we said our goodbyes and he walked away, I found I could hardly wait to open the folder on my laptop that contains my manuscript.

I realized then that he was a messenger sent to encourage me. And in doing so my procrastinator had no choice but to get up and move on.

His words of wisdom soothed this writers heart and were just what I needed to get my fingers flying across the keyboard once again.

—

Writing and publishing can oftentimes feel vulnerable, which I see now as part of the process — and part of life no matter what. I’m honored to share a piece I wrote called “Vulnerability: A Gift to be Embraced” published on this month on a wonderful site, Rumblstrips.

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Silence and Stillness. Crucial to Living a Meaningful Life.

Posted by Barbara Techel

silence

I ran across this quote this morning. It really spoke to me, especially as I continue to work on the fourth draft of my second memoir, Wisdom Found in the Pause.

This book, in part, about my paralyzed dachshund Joie and her short life with me ultimately led me to not wanting to write (or talk much) after she passed away. As someone who loved to write and share my passion about special needs dogs, this felt very odd and scary.

Taking a sabbatical from everything I had known and loved to do for the prior six years, from keeping up my blog, interacting with my audience on social media, writing books, and public speaking gigs for children and adults, to now plunge into what felt like nothingness felt like the scariest thing ever.

While it was true I was craving stillness, silence, and a slowing down, I was afraid to be with my own thoughts. I was afraid to hear and examine what I knew to be true – that I wanted to let go of a chapter in my life I had so enjoyed, which at the time really didn’t make sense. The scary part also was that I didn’t know where I wanted to go next.

And being in silence can seem daunting and overwhelming to face all those fears.

While I was very restless at the beginning of my sabbatical, oftentimes feeling like I wanted to jump right out of my own skin, I’m so glad I stuck with it.

It was in that silence and stillness that the gifts started to make themselves known…and where being in the presence of silence and making friends with it I could gain more clarity. Silence and stillness is now an ongoing practice in my life, even when I veer a bit far from it I hear that inner voice calling me back – to find balance.

I believe it is crucial to pay attention to it in order to live a meaningful life.

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