writers

Wanting to Versus Having to. How this Changed Everything for Me.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1959I was awake at 5:00am today. As often happens to me, my mind began to fill with many thoughts.

Today I heard, “I want to write. I don’t have to write.”  This thought kept swirling around and around in my mind. I knew I better get up and write this idea down before other thoughts invaded, and it evaporated into oblivion. I knew I’d want to write about this on my blog today. I also reminded myself that I’m trying to follow these impulses more often, so I told myself to get my butt out of bed now.

When I began writing in my early 40s for a local newspaper column, then started my blog, as well as books I’ve written, I read quite a bit about the art of writing. I wanted to do it right.

I often got caught up in the process of how other writers did it. When was their best time to write? How many pages or words did they write each day?  Where did they write?  Did they feel compelled and just had to write?  Many books and blogs I read had the writer sharing they just have to write.

I wonder if wanting to, and having to, is perhaps the same thing?  I suppose it’s all in how each writer defines it. But whenever I read that another writer just had to write and couldn’t miss a day of it, like not brushing their teeth, it never really truly resonated with me.

This morning it was as if I had my own aha moment after writing for almost ten years now on a pretty consistent basis. I want to write.

It’s not like I didn’t already know this, but I feel like I now have more clarification.  Clarity is a good thing. I want to write to make a difference. To bring my thoughts and observations to those that need to hear most what I have to say.

As I’ve shared before on my blog, which became even more clear to me after my sabbatical, I want to encourage and inspire others. This is what makes me feel alive– to know in some small way, through my writing, I’m making the life of someone else just a little bit better.

I’ve heard from so many of you who follow my blog, on Facebook, or have read, Through Frankie’s Eyes how sharing my story and my thoughts has helped, or resonated with you.  This means to much so me. I’m truly grateful when you reach out to me and share your thoughts. It encourages and inspires me to keep writing.

I don’t have to write, but I want to write. Writing is my small way of bringing some positive, peace, and meaning to a world that sometimes loses sight of these things.

No longer do I have the need to find the right way to write. I may not be grammatically correct and don’t put comma’s in exactly the right place, along with a slew of other English proper’s that really never made any sense to me (this is why I love my editor when I write my books). But I want to write. I want to write from my truth and my heart.

This is part of who I am. Having a deeper clarity present itself to me like this today makes me happy to once again have my butt planted firmly in my chair and writing this moment.  Writing in a way that is right for me.

Creative Coffee Break with an Artist and Writer

Posted by Barbara Techel

creative coffee break

Two years ago I was blessed with a new friendship in artist, Cassy Tully. It seems like we have known each other a lifetime. Perhaps we somehow did connect in a past life– at least this is the way we have begun to feel about each other.

She is also in my heart the daughter I never had. Though I never wanted children, if I’d have had them, I feel like she would have been the one I would have wished for. We are kindred spirits– that there is no doubt.

A few months ago we began what we call our Creative Coffee Break. We meet once a month to discuss projects we are working on and get input and advice on things we wish to do coming up.

Last week we met in her newly created artist space. She has always had a space in her home where she goes to paint. But most recently she added a cozy area within her painting studio that has a big overstuffed size chair, a table with magazines that feed her creativity, photos that capture favorite moments which have inspired her, and trinkets that remind her of what it means to her to be the artist that she is.

I’m a big believer that everyone needs their own space to just be, or to create, or to do whatever it is that feeds and refreshes their soul.  Awhile back when I posted a photo of my writing cottage saying this very same thing, I heard from one angry woman saying “It must be nice, but not everyone can afford  a writing cottage.”

While yes, she had a point, it made me sad that she missed the point. Besides the fact it is easy to judge as what we think is “must be nice.” My space came to me at a price of giving up something else. Though I don’t feel like it was a sacrifice.  The point is everyone deserves a space to call their very own. It does not need to be a whole separate space and can be as simple as a small corner in your home. And as in Cassy’s case, hers is in her basement.  This may not sound ideal to someone else, but another point is that she made it her own– surrounded by what feeds her soul, just like my space does. Meeting there this month truly fed my soul– but just being around Cassy inspires me to keep believing in myself as a writer and blogger.

Also feeding our souls helps us to go out and face the world- to stand tall in who we are. Don’t we all need that?  I don’t know about you, but I do. It’s why I’m so thankful for my friendship with Cassy– she inspires me on so many levels. It’s why I’m thankful for not only my creative space, but also to be within the space of someone else who is a creative spirit. I think there is nothing like it to shoot you over the moon of inspiration!

My Biggest Fear about Writing My Book Came True

Posted by Barbara Techel

It occurred as a sudden flash through my mind recently. My biggest fear about writing my book Through Frankie’s Eyes (which I’ll release early 2013) actually came true. It hit my heart with a thud. I knew I wanted to write this book. I knew I was ready. Sentences and chapter ideas had swirled through my mind for months. But I couldn’t bring myself to put my fingers upon the keyboard and start writing.

I remember being stumped and somewhat paralyzed about this two summers ago. What is holding me back? I wondered.  I talked it over with another friend who is a writer.  She suggested calling a mutual friend, Lynne, who is also a writer, but also a spiritual healer with an alternative healing practice. She thought perhaps I should go see her.

It is so interesting how small the world truly is. I met Lynne at a writing conference a few years before. Then I discovered author, Mary Shafer on the internet, who wrote Almost Perfect: Disabled Pets and the People Who Love Them.  Long story, short, Mary is originally from Wisconsin and now lives in Pennsylvania, but she went to high school with Lynne.

I made the hour and a half trip two weeks later to see Lynne at her practice. I had no idea what to expect , and I was a bit nervous.  But Lynne is a very kind and caring person, and she made me feel right at home.  She took me through a meditation which at first as we began I was not sure how that was going to help.

As I made my way to a favorite place in my mind, as Lynne guided me, I went to a place that I felt safe.  In that place,  I was told to look for my angel.  I looked and looked but could not find an angel. I thought perhaps there was something wrong with me.  But I did see someone, but was afraid to say.  After more guidance from Lynne, she said, “Do you see anyone’?”

I said, “Yes, I see God.  I don’t see a face, but I sense it is God.”

As she guided me through the meditation asking me some very personal questions, it was finally revealed with a rush of tears why I was fearful of writing my book. I was afraid Frankie would die. I felt if she did, I would not be strong enough to finish and that I couldn’t possibly go on.

As this thought came as a flash through my mind recently, I felt my heart fall to my feet. But only for a brief moment.  While I have for the most part finished the majority of the writing of my book, Frankie was my guide the whole time, lying at my feet. I know now what a gift that was to have her with me.  It was all part of the divine plan.

As I wrote my story, I felt something in me shifting and transitioning. I knew my life as it was, with the work I did with Frankie for the last five years, was changing.  While that was hard at times to accept, I was learning to find peace in another step in my evolution, reminding myself, to be open to the next leg in my journey.

Looking back, I’m glad I faced the fear and didn’t stuff it down. If I had let fear win, I don’t think my book would have been written. Though I find I am  now resisting writing the afterword, I have faith I will come to my computer soon enough. I trust I’ll spill the words onto the blank screen to complete the last piece of work that will be full circle in my journey with Frankie.

As I drove home from some errands today, the clouds in the sky were heavenly.  I thought about what my friend said to me– that heaven is all around us. To me that means our loved ones now gone are really not gone, but all around us if we choose to be open to that.  I am, and I know Frankie is all around me. As I gave that more thought I then had this very strong sense of Frankie running circles around me, almost flying, without her wheels.  She ran and ran, happy as could be, round and round as if enveloping my heart letting me know she is okay. I smiled… and I know it is was her way of reminding me that I can do this and write the afterword and that the plan as it is meant to be is unfolding just as it should.