writing life

Update On My New Memoir Plus Exciting Change to My Website

Posted by Barbara Techel
Update On My New Memoir Plus Exciting Change to My Website
The Wise Gidget Photo credit: Lisa A. Lehmann

Thought you might like to hear an update about the new memoir I continue to work on called, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. And I also want to let you know of an exciting new change to my website.

I find it intriguing and interesting that the title of my new book is in alignment with the change to my website.

First the update on my book. Writing a memoir isn’t always easy, especially moving through the painful experiences which got me to a new level of understanding that I’m now at. It means as I write this book, I’m delving back into moments that were difficult – and in all honesty, brought me to my knees.

But as life coach, Jocelyn Mercado, who recently did a four-week online course called, Learning to Fly, it’s the being brought to our knees, that we are invited to open to the gift of just that, and learning to fly. Because the truth is that throughout our lives we are continually invited to take flight in new and expanded ways.

Working on this memoir, I’ve had my ups and downs, wanting to throw in the towel, but also moments of elation and joy…this is all part of the process. I’m reminded of this each time I write a new book and how far I’ve come. 

My last memoir, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift I wrote as part one and part two. In many ways I see this book in much the same way, and for that I can say, as I continue to work on the first draft, I’m about a third way into part two.

This is a celebration point for me and why I wanted to share with you too. This point in the book is now about sharing what it is I’ve come to learn, understand and grow from the difficulties, in hopes it will help others.

Over the summer I also had a photo shoot done for a potential book cover. If all goes as planned, the photo I chose which is a shot of Gidget and me, will be the one for the cover. But that will have to wait to be revealed at a later date. 😉 

And now for the change to my website…

As I’ve now expanded my work, and my new service and oracle guidance sessions as an Oracle Guide— to serve as a guide to empower and encourage women who want to step into their best and true selves, I felt it was time for a change.

Because of my own personal growth journey and one I continue to walk, I’ll be sharing the URL to my website going forward as barbaratechel.com. You’ll still be able to access my website via joyfulpaws.com and the site itself remains the same in content. 

I remember years and years ago my first life coach, Diane, asking me why I didn’t like to be called Barbara and instead preferred Barb. It was really about my own insecurity, lack of self-confidence, not feeling worthy or good enough, and the list went on and on.

And while I still often go by Barb, and it’s many that refer to me in this way, it’s the Barbara in me that I’ve come to appreciate and love…and changing my website name is my way of honoring this.

And so it was in realizing during a difficult time of a chronic health issue with Gidget, and a fatal mistake I almost made, but came to trust she was fine just the way she was, that I also came to accept myself as fine the way I was, and am. More about this to come in my new memoir…stay tuned!

XO,

Barb

Reflections on Feeling Stuck From Wild Woman Oracle and Betty Blue Flowers

Posted by Barbara Techel

A saying exists: a writer gets to live twice. First we live, and then we write about how we lived. Like a cow that brings up its feed and chews it again, a writer has a second chance to digest experience. The second time is in the notebook or in front of a computer screen. Often the second is the real time for a writer. It is then we get to claim our existence. ~Natalie Goldberg, Let the Whole Thundering World Come In

There is so much depth and truth in this statement Natalie shares in her new book about her recent journey with cancer and how that unfolded for her. Not only did she have to endure her experience of cancer once, but she opened herself up again to all the feelings for others to glean from it what they will. And in large part because it’s who she is as a writer.

As I woke this morning my mind immediately drifted to where I left off yesterday working on writing my newest, and third, memoir. I was feeling very stuck. Which led me to feeling frustrated. Which then led me to trying to talk myself down from the ledge of being hard on myself. I reminded myself that this is a process. I also reminded myself that I have my own process and that I must trust it. And all of this…this is part of the process of writing a book.

For me, I’m not just actively writing when I’m at the keyboard, it’s what I want to write in upcoming chapters, or the next days writing on my mind, that drifts in and out most days when I’m in the thick of a new book. It’s not always easy for me to turn it off. I’ve come to a better place in understanding now that this is how I write and thus I’m much more comfortable with how I move through my process.

But there are times I feel stuck, as I did this morning, dreading the moment I’d come to the computer screen. As I walked out my bedroom patio door to my writing cottage, across the deck, it was the flowers in the window planter, called “Betty Blue” that caught my eye.

I reflected on how when the weather is not to their liking, they close, and I’m not able to enjoy their soft blue color I love so much. Instead they look brown and almost as if they are dying. I realized then they just go inward for a time being, conserving their energy, to appear again another day. While they may appear to being doing nothing, it’s truly not the case. They are alive and well within their own process.

So what do I need this morning, I thought, that will guide me along in my process? Normally I meditate first. Then I sit down at the table behind my writing desk, overlooking the gully full of luscious greenery this time of year, ponder a question I’d like Spirit to help me with, write it down, and then pick an oracle card or two to see what insight they have to offer, along with trusting my intuition to guide me, also.

Instead, today I felt called to ponder my question first, write it down, tuck it in my mind as I meditated, and then pull an oracle card from The Mystical Shaman Oracle deck (my new favorite that I can’t seem to get enough of!) and write my insight in my journal.

While the flowers and their reflection had encouraged me to go inward, the first place my eye landed when I picked the Wild Woman card, was her heart. My eye was then drawn to the tree coming out the top of her head.

I wrote: Stay connected to your true nature which is at the heart of who you are.

I felt that vibrate throughout my body as truth. I’d felt stuck because I had fear around what I wanted to write about next – fear of judgement and my ego trying once again to protect me.

As my eye wandered up to the wild branches blooming from Wild Woman’s head I knew I wanted more than anything to let my thoughts flow and branch out into manifestation without fear of how they will land.

Then reading what the booklet had to offer, I smiled as what resonated for me is this: “Your authentic self does not fit in a box. Our light gets dimmed by the restrictions placed upon us as a society. Wild Woman reminds us to shine brightly regardless of perceived outcomes.”

I thought back to Natalie’s quote and how true it is that not only do writers live their experience as our own, but then we subject ourselves to opening and sharing with others, which means what we write may not always be what others agree with. But what we feel called to do, not only as a big part of who we are, but as a way in which we do get this opportunity to move through the experiences of our own lives again, thus gaining even more clarity and understanding of who we truly are.

Spending this time in honoring what was calling to me and time in reflection, I found my way to where I’d left off yesterday, and ended up with words flowing effortlessly from the end of my fingers, and grateful for a keyboard to capture them as fast as they were coming.

XO,

Barbara

Are you feeling stuck in an area of your life? Book a private intuitive oracle guidance session with me here.  I’d be honored to be your guide.

One of the Reasons Why I Write. Thank you, Alexa.

Posted by Barbara Techel
This butterfly that came to eat reminded me to enjoy the sweetness of creativity for the sake of expression no matter what.

When I first began writing back in 2006, I wrote mostly about the human-animal bond. I wrote to share my love of animals and the wisdom they brought me, and will continue to do so, though my writing has broadened over the years.

When I wrote and published my first two children’s books, I was on a mission to help others see paralyzed dogs in a new way – not out of pity – but one in which understanding they could live a quality of life and in a wheelchair if need be, just like my dachshund Frankie was doing at the time. Along with that, I saw that Frankie could be a positive example to children and adults and guide them to see their challenges in a new light.

Much of that focus was about getting the word out and involved much marketing on my part. While I cringed at the thought of marketing in previous work I’d done, this was different, and came from a passion of what I felt was my calling to share at that time.

When Frankie died and then my next dachshund died a few short months later, I knew in my heart I was in transition. Oftentimes I felt lost. My writing then became more about me expressing myself to help me work through the challenges I was going through.

It became clear that this is something I was meant to expand into and understanding that in transitional moments in one’s life there are often gifts within them. Though not always necessarily easy to see when in the thick of it.

How often I struggled with my identity, afraid to let go of what many have come to see me as in the paralyzed and wheelchair dog world, being an advocate, but also knowing I was evolving. While I didn’t always share the difficulties of some of the inner struggles I faced, I knew I had to keep writing – even if just here on my blog – and no one else was reading my thoughts.

But also in being honest, there are times I have wondered, Is anyone out there? Am I having an impact like I did with Frankie? Are other’s reading what I’ve written? Does it resonate with anyone?

But yet, I had to keep writing, even if just for me. So often it was, and continues to be, my way of expressing how I feel. In a world that is noisy and one where truly we all just wish to be heard, I know my writing has served me well in this way. I’m grateful for the self-expression and grateful for how this medium has helped me grow in so many ways.

I continue to make progress on the new memoir I’m working on (YAY!). What is interesting is that this is the first book I’m putting so much less pressure on myself than in the past. I’m also writing in a way I’d not done before. This time, I’m just dumping out everything on the page. In the past my perfectionist would kick in and I’d stop to edit or re-work sections. Though I sometimes still catch myself wanting to do this, I forge ahead reminding myself it can wait. I’m also not overly concerned with who my audience is right now either, even though you’ll hear via the industry standard this isn’t the “right” way to do this.

But trusting what feels right to my process is what I’m leaning into.  I trust also it will all take shape when I begin to sift the words and sentences in a more defined way after the first draft is complete. While I had concerns about who my audience has been in the past, and that they may not be the same with this book, I’m at a much more peaceful place about that now too.

And then this morning I read this beautiful comment from reader, Alexa, in response to what I wrote about yesterday on my blog …and I lit up from the inside out, because this…this is the woman…like me…who I write to…

Learning to feel safe to opening my heart when in therapy. Until a couple of months ago, whenever i talked about childhood hurts it was without feeling. like i was reading the back of a cereal box.

Now I cry sometimes as I truly connect with the child I was. I’m learning to give comfort and love to the little girl I was. It’s like the adult me is reaching out to my child self. I feel as though I am passing thru from one place to another. For the first time ever I trust myself to feel the pain instead of burying it or just muddling thru. I can say I’m strong enough and know deeply that I am.

Barb..your blog means so much to me. Your willingness to share. to be true to your self. I don’t know the why of it or how to put it into words but thru reading your words over the passage of time, I have been expanding,opening. I just hadn’t realized it until I cried during a therapy session. Healing tears. reading your words, your journey, I have been beginning my own.

While I began to express myself to make a difference and be heard, there came a point when I knew I had to keep writing even if just for me. But when this happens and I’ve touched a chord in someone else, like I did Alexa, well then, this is sweet, delicious, icing on the cake…and feeds my soul to keep going with my book on those days when I am not so sure and those pesky doubts try to creep in.

So thank you, Alexa, and all of you who continue to walk this ever-evolving transformational journey with me.

XO,

Barbara