writing

Wanting to Versus Having to. How this Changed Everything for Me.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1959I was awake at 5:00am today. As often happens to me, my mind began to fill with many thoughts.

Today I heard, “I want to write. I don’t have to write.”  This thought kept swirling around and around in my mind. I knew I better get up and write this idea down before other thoughts invaded, and it evaporated into oblivion. I knew I’d want to write about this on my blog today. I also reminded myself that I’m trying to follow these impulses more often, so I told myself to get my butt out of bed now.

When I began writing in my early 40s for a local newspaper column, then started my blog, as well as books I’ve written, I read quite a bit about the art of writing. I wanted to do it right.

I often got caught up in the process of how other writers did it. When was their best time to write? How many pages or words did they write each day?  Where did they write?  Did they feel compelled and just had to write?  Many books and blogs I read had the writer sharing they just have to write.

I wonder if wanting to, and having to, is perhaps the same thing?  I suppose it’s all in how each writer defines it. But whenever I read that another writer just had to write and couldn’t miss a day of it, like not brushing their teeth, it never really truly resonated with me.

This morning it was as if I had my own aha moment after writing for almost ten years now on a pretty consistent basis. I want to write.

It’s not like I didn’t already know this, but I feel like I now have more clarification.  Clarity is a good thing. I want to write to make a difference. To bring my thoughts and observations to those that need to hear most what I have to say.

As I’ve shared before on my blog, which became even more clear to me after my sabbatical, I want to encourage and inspire others. This is what makes me feel alive– to know in some small way, through my writing, I’m making the life of someone else just a little bit better.

I’ve heard from so many of you who follow my blog, on Facebook, or have read, Through Frankie’s Eyes how sharing my story and my thoughts has helped, or resonated with you.  This means to much so me. I’m truly grateful when you reach out to me and share your thoughts. It encourages and inspires me to keep writing.

I don’t have to write, but I want to write. Writing is my small way of bringing some positive, peace, and meaning to a world that sometimes loses sight of these things.

No longer do I have the need to find the right way to write. I may not be grammatically correct and don’t put comma’s in exactly the right place, along with a slew of other English proper’s that really never made any sense to me (this is why I love my editor when I write my books). But I want to write. I want to write from my truth and my heart.

This is part of who I am. Having a deeper clarity present itself to me like this today makes me happy to once again have my butt planted firmly in my chair and writing this moment.  Writing in a way that is right for me.

Following Impulses Makes Me Happier.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1951 eI took this photo of Kylie a few days ago. I had just walked out of the bathroom to catch her looking at me, resting contently in the big maroon chair in our living room.

I found myself wanting to move the floral arrangement you see in the forefront. But if I took the time to do that, I’d lose the sweetness of the moment with Kylie’s eyes that were reaching out to me in her own language of love.

So I grabbed the camera, clicked on macro setting, and took the picture.  When I brought it up on my computer I loved how it turned out. It seemed, for me, to capture the moment perfectly. I was glad I followed my impulse.

Working on my new book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause I’m having many thoughts floating around in my mind before they make it onto my computer. I’m working hard to capture them in the moment. This isn’t something I’ve always done.

In the past I’d scribble a note or two to come back to it when I sat down to my scheduled time to write. Sometimes that has worked, but often times, I’d lose much of the depth around what I wanted to write—and the right words just wouldn’t come when before that they had felt so good and so right.

I’m still making notes when I think of things that I feel would be good to add to my new book. But something different I’m trying to do is capture those times when something is really speaking to me from my heart. These usually happen between 2:00 and 3:00am or just as I’m waking for the day between 6:00 and 7:00am. The thoughts are so fresh and close to the surface. I find myself repeating them over and over in my head afraid of what other thoughts are going to start invading for the day.  And we all know how many oodles of thoughts we have go through our mind in a day!

I tend to be a very routine person, so this can be a challenge for me to follow that stream of thought that is begging me to be written. But I’ve started to follow the impulse.

I do find I have to convince myself that  I don’t need to feel guilty for not doing my yoga first, taking a shower, or looking presentable. Once I give myself permission, I march myself, hair sticking up and all, sleep in my eyes, out  to my writing cottage.

The other morning when I did this, I wrote 1,000 words in less than 30-minutes. When I was done, I felt euphoric. I also wondered,  where did the time go? I was in this place of complete contentment, lost in my own little world where time does not matter. I was happy. Not only that, I felt like I had accomplished so much!

So that is my challenge to myself, to allow myself to follow these impulses and see where they take me. From what I’ve experienced so far, it is a pretty cool way to live… a simpler way to live, really…just don’t tell the part of me that wants to be all neat and routine about things.

Messages Like This Bring Tears to My Eyes.

Posted by Barbara Techel

gidget and barb eLate yesterday afternoon I received this message from Kelly who reads my blog, “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you have found Gidget and are back to blogging. I think special needs animals do wonders for the human psyche!”

This brought tears to my eyes because when Joie died I shut down inside. I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to write again. I felt I had nothing more to say. Nothing really made sense to me.

Taking a sabbatical was a tough thing for me to do. I was afraid all the work I had done blogging, writing my books, finding my loyal readers like all of you, and educating others about disc disease and special needs animals would simply vanish. I wondered, could I really walk away for two months?

I questioned if all I had worked so hard to build would not be here when I returned. But I knew I had to step away for awhile. I pride myself in being someone who enjoys sharing, encouraging and inspiring.  We have enough bad news in the world if we want to hear it. I want to be the happy place people can come to.

I debated and finally decided to reach out to a mentor of mine, Dan Blank. He helps authors and writers. I’ve taken many classes from him and admire him greatly. I had a feeling he could help me with my decision. His words of wisdom were just what I needed to trust that this was the right thing for me to do at this time in my life.

I’ll continue to write more about what I learned on my sabbatical in future posts.  Though right now I can say I felt restless and lost many times throughout those sixty days. But now that I am back, I’m so happy to be here again. I also know that was the right thing for me to do.

Of course, having Gidget in my life now has certainly added to my heart feeling so fulfilled again! But to finally feel like me again, back to writing on my blog and giving thought to new projects, seeing that message from Kelly brought me to tears. To me, it is a message from the Universe, sent through Kelly to affirm for me that I am on the right path.

PS:  Kelly, you are 100% right… special needs animals are so good for the human psyche!  And might I add, all animals are special in one way or another and bring us so much joy.