dogs

Excuse Me? Hello?

Excuse Me?...Hello?

Sometimes when one said little one can’t make up her mind…she ends up on the outside, looking in.

Reminded me of when I was little girl and I was in and out the door of our house during summer days when my mom would eventually tire of the door slamming so often that I’d hear, “Either in or out!”

And if that voice of my dear mom didn’t come out of my mouth today when Miss Gidget couldn’t seem to make up her mind.

XOXOXO

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Not Missing a Beat

Not Missing a Beat

If you’ve ever lived with a dachshund, you know that they live to make sure you never make a move without them. Even if that means disrupting their beloved time burrowed under the blanket and popping up to sport a temporary dreadlocks look.

Some day’s I only have to move slightly in my chair as way of getting comfortable with no plans what-so-ever of getting up, but Miss Gidget has to be sure as she does her quick scuddle to the surface from below to make sure she isn’t missing out on anything.

Sometimes Gidget reminds me of Gladys Kravitz from the 1970’s program, Bewitched, as she has to know what is going on at all times within our household.

And one of those things that glaringly leaves such an empty space when they move on to the other side. And how you find yourself moving as you did when you had a dachshund, or any dog, or animal for that matter. While we think it is they who should adjust to our lives, we find how we’ve adjusted to make sure they are enjoying the utmost of comfort.

While sometimes it tests my patience that I can’t make a move without my little “dachsling” needing to be at my side, I remind myself to treasure each precious moment.

And today, such a day when I got up from my chair, and she scurried to the surface from her place of rest, with her silly dreadlocks look that my heart melt for the love of her devotion.

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The Final Sacred Step. But Not the Final Goodbye.

The Final Sacred Step. But Not the Final Goodbye.

I didn’t start out to be with you, sitting alone on the beach starring out onto the ocean. But then out of the corner of my eye, I saw you rolling toward me, your ears blowing in the wind.

I was so happy to see you and scooped you up and gently placed you in my lap. We sat silently letting the water lull us dreamily into another realm as the waves lapped softly onto my feet and my wide-brimmed straw hat shaded your sweet face.

The feel of your silky fur against my arms and your heart beating with mine moved me to tears as they slid slowly down my cheeks.

It’s okay, she said. 

Knowing she understood my deepest thoughts and emotions I knew we were connecting in this most magical moment.

Those ashes in the box lovingly resting on the shelf are not me, she said. They are only what is left of what my physical body was.

Who I really am is alive and well in spirit.

You aren’t letting go, but rather releasing me fully back to where it is I came from.

You are helping me to fully integrate back into home.

And that home is with the stars and universe, safely and lovingly residing with our creator.

A place you can join me at anytime in your thoughts or heart until we meet again on the other side.

But you see, I’ve been preparing you for this day.

I’ve watched you grow stronger with each passing year.

And you now understand that I never left you. We have always been connected in heart.

Letting go of what is left of the physical of my ashes will not change that, but only deepen what is true.

In the inmost part of my being I understood everything she was conveying to me. And I was okay.

And I’m ready more than ever for this final sacred step.

To release, fully in trust and faith, and a knowing in my heart that this is the right thing to do.

Let’s walk, she said.

So along the shore I walked with her sweet, wise self rolling beside me.

There were no more words or thoughts to be exchanged. We just simply were.

We had come to an understanding and my heart full circle of healing.

And just as she had come to me, I stood as she rolled once again down the sandy shore on her own and then faded back into the light from which she came.

I stood for a moment in deep gratitude and then turned to walk back down the beach. While once again alone with my thoughts, I now rest more peacefully in a new space of knowing that I am truly never alone.

For all the magical, loving, blessed moments I had with my dear sweet, Frankie, will always be a part of me. 

Tomorrow, June 21st marks the 5-year anniversary of my “walk ‘n roll dog,” Frankie’s passing. What I shared above is what came to me in a mediation as I get ready to scatter Frankie’s ashes around my writing cottage tomorrow morning. This idea that came to me earlier this year – but really a knowing I have deep in my soul that this is right and the timing is perfect.

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