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Embracing Ourselves as Unfinished. It’s a Gift and We Need to Pass it On.
“It seems to me that the task of the unfinished woman is to acknowledge her life as a work in progress, allowing each passage, evolution, experience to offer wisdom for her soul.” This passage is from Joan Anderson’s bestselling book, A Year by the Sea.
Joan’s books changed me. They continue to change me. I’ve returned to them again and again. I’m returning to A Year by the Sea once again, beginning today. It’s why I’m writing this post today also, in celebration of Joan’s books having the opportunity to become a motion picture—to inspire and help millions to embrace themselves as unfinished. But she will need our help, so stay tuned to the end of my post and how you can help.
I’ve come to understand more with each passing year, embracing myself as unfinished is a gift. This means there are new opportunities for me to explore and dig further into the soul of who I am. To also truly accept this process is so important too.
While initially, which began in about 2004 for me, this was one of the scariest excavations I’d ever went on, I am so thankful I found the courage to do so. For me, it began with the “ache” of which Joan refers to. I wondered why I was here. What was the reason for my purpose here on earth?
It led me to reaching out to a life coach in 2005. Something I’d never even knew existed until a friend recommended someone she knew who helped people look at these unanswered questions. This is how I found life coach, Diane (now someone I call friend).
The call I made that day is still so clear in my mind. My hands were shaking as I dialed her number. I was scared to look deep into my soul. To know that I had to sit still and listen to the whispers of my heart, because they were getting louder. But the risk to not do so, felt larger to me. I had to take the chance.
I was scared to think about what I might discover. I was scared my marriage might end wondering about the “what if’s.” I was scared that I couldn’t do the inner work that needed to be done.
But that call to Diane changed my life for the better. Shortly after, I discovered Joan’s books which helped me move deeper into understanding the woman that I am, and most importantly, that I was not alone in my feelings.
I’ve also come to really get that we are never finished. We are never complete. This is why we are here. To keep excavating. To continue to awaken each step of the way. To live in awareness of our soul speaking to us. To move deeper inside and capture the true essence of who we are. This is our purpose. Our purpose is not outside of us. It is in us. This is what we must radiate out into the world. This is what makes a difference. This is what gives others permission to do the same.
As I continue working on my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause I am understanding more and more why I had to pause once again when I took my sabbatical last fall. Joie was the gift that helped me see this. In many ways I still consider myself in this pausing and reflecting state as I write the book and live my everyday life.
It didn’t end with my sabbatical. It is a daily journey for me. And I’m often times reminding myself to enjoy the process of being in this inner place of work instead of thinking I have to find a purpose outside of myself. This is my purpose today, tomorrow, and always. Every time I lose my way thinking I should be more and do more, I go back to one of my favorite quotes from Joan in her book, “The Second Journey.”
“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity. I have come full circle yet again. I must be willing to journey forward—spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.”
I truly can’t say enough good about Joan and her willingness to be vulnerable and share her journey with us. But in doing so, she has helped so many women (and men too) accept themselves for who they are. Those inner soul explorers, by doing so, have encouraged others to do the same, whether they know it or not. And those beacons of lights of courage are radiating out into the world with each one of us that find the courage to live from the very soul of who we are.
So here is how you can help Joan’s books become a motion picture in Hollywood!
Stop by her Facebook page, A Year by the Sea and give it a “like.” Then share the page and video with 10 of your friends.
If you’ve not read her books, I’d encourage you to do so. Here is her website and A Year by the Sea website.
Me and My Shadow. My Aha! Moment.
I had an aha! moment as I was uploading this photo to edit it. I took it over the weekend while sitting on the deck. I love how you can see my shadow with Gidget looking on.
Gidget loves being with me, but she is also the first dachshund I’ve had that seems more independent. She is content to hang out beside me on the deck and doesn’t need to be in my lap all the time. Frankie and Joie, the moment I sat down in my Adirondack chair, would be at my feet pleading with their dark enticing eyes, “Please pick me up and hold me.”
As I thought about this looking at the picture, it struck me once again how we get the dog we need at different times in our life. I’ve become more independent, content to be on my own, and alone more often. I trust more in who I am and what I need. While I enjoy some social time, I also need lots of time alone.
This is where I am in my life right now. It wasn’t all this way. All those years of being in the “spotlight” with Frankie were times I wouldn’t trade for the world. But I have to say this “inner” work I’ve been doing more of lately, fits me too. Sure, sometimes I’m restless with it, but for the most part, I feel like this is the place I’m supposed to be right now in this space and time.
Gidget is that reflection for me. What a beautiful reminder this photo (and Gidget) is.