Take Two: Clarification of the Burning of My Manuscript

Posted by Barbara Techel

I realized after receiving a few emails that I need to clarify what I meant by burning my manuscript I’ve been working on for over a year, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. If you didn’t catch yesterdays post and wonder what the heck I’m talking about, you can read it here.

I’m not starting over from the beginning and I’m finishing the book where I left off over three weeks ago. Good news, right? 🙂

The paper manuscript I burned was one of the earlier versions which I’d printed out and edited and then implemented the changes into the digital file I keep on my computer.

I then submitted that digital file to three beta readers for feedback. I received the feedback from each, with two of them submitting feedback the day before Gidget passed away.

At that point, I’d updated the current version of my manuscript of the digital file with the first beta readers feedback and was three-quarters of the way through completing that input.

Since having to let Gidget go the day before Mother’s Day, I’ve not been able to bring myself to open the manuscript on my computer where I left it and finish implementing the other feedback I’ve received.

But it was about a week after her passing, that even though I wasn’t yet ready to open the file on my computer and finish where I’d left off, that I knew I’d be writing an afterword. Though I’m not yet ready to write that and have been simmering in what I want to share.

That earlier version of the paper manuscript (that I burned) represented for me how at the beginning of writing this memoir that it felt so painstaking, though it started to flow with more ease these past six months.

What I didn’t know was how the book would end. Or I thought I knew how the book would end and that Gidget and I would have many more years together.

I wasn’t expecting to write an afterword to talk about her passing.

So burning the manuscript was symbolic for me because it represents a letting go of how the manuscript began (the painstaking moments of writing it), the feedback that wasn’t in that particular copy which is helpful in making my book be the best it can be, along with acceptance of the fact that Gidget passed away— and there is a pivotal teaching in that, too.

Along with the fact, this was all part of the master plan – I couldn’t have known I was going to have to let Gidget go. 

Coming back to the current version of the manuscript on my computer file and starting again where I left off I’ve had another layer of deepening into the teachings from Gidget, which has been welcoming to my heart. And just when I think I couldn’t possibly love her any more than I do, I find myself in a deeper space of gratitude, love, and compassion for the gift of her sweet and wise self.

So burning that earlier version of the paper manuscript felt cleansing to me – and starting again when I thought what was the point of completing the book is a welcome space to be in, too.

I hope this helps. 

Onward and forward I go with getting this manuscript ready to hand over to an editor…

XO,

Barbara

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I Burned My Manuscript

Posted by Barbara Techel

Truth be told. I’ve had a few moments since Gidget has been gone that I have wondered what is even the point of completing my book – my third memoir.

An edited paper version of it that I marked up in red ink, and before feedback from my beta readers, has sat on my desk for a few months now. Yesterday I looked at it and wondered why I kept it. 

This morning, after my yoga practice and journaling with the SoulCollage® card I made in honor of Gidget (which I’ll share in a future post), I felt called to burn the manuscript. 

I placed it in the chiminea that sits on our deck. It has held a fire most weekend nights and often entices deep conversation and contemplation. Tearing the sections of the manuscript in half, and then half again, I threw them into the chiminea, doused it with lighter fluid, and threw in a match.

It was cathartic to watch it go up in flames. A ritual of letting go of how the manuscript began – painstakingly at times and then the last six months it flowed with much more ease.

Before Gidget left, the draft I was currently working on was close to being polished with feedback integrated from the beta readers and then it would be off to the editor.

But it all stopped when Gidget died. I couldn’t bring myself to open the unfinished document on my computer. Though it was only about a week after Gidget left that I knew there would be an afterword for my book. But I’ve had to just sit with the many thoughts of how I will write it.

I will complete the book. And yesterday, I began where I left off with the chapter on a dream I had that was pivotal to my healing last year.

All of how this has unfolded has been the process that has been meant to be for me. There is no right or wrong way to write a book. This has been a valuable teaching for me over the years since I began writing here on my blog and the books I’ve published. 

I’m much more interested these days in listening to my inner voice and letting go of how other’s say we “should” write. I want to continue to follow my flow of energy, honor it and trust that all is happening in just the right time.

Just as I sat down to write this post an email came into my inbox from a woman I recently gifted my first two memoirs. What a beautiful confirmation:

I honor and bless the little girl in you who has chosen in this lifetime to do so much healing. I sense you are healing from many past lives. Stand tall in your newborn knowledge of who you are. You are so needed to share your light with all whom you touch.

Your books are beautiful. Your gentle heart comes shining through. I wish you peace in your healing process.

There is so much amazing support that the universe offers us when we stay open to the possibilities.

And with that, I’m signing off to update the next chapter of my book, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am…

XO,

Barbara

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The Fairies Came to Dance (video) Plus Oracle and Animal Guidance For the Week

Posted by Barbara Techel

What is it that we need to see a higher perspective of in order to break free?

This is the question that came to mind as I pulled these two cards for our guidance for the week.

The giraffe tall and one who walks with such ease and grace invites us to know that there is no hurry to fully understand a challenge or situation we may find ourselves in that we don’t yet know the answer to.

In order to gain insight and clarity, we are being asked to allow grace to lead the way, open our eyes and our heart to a larger and more vast perspective – simmer and rest in different views – and apply this contemplative spaciousness to an area we perhaps feel stuck in.

It’s in the allowing of our minds to clear of mental clutter, appreciating and soaking in the unknown, and allowing what needs to enter as a whisper from our inner knowing, that a breakthrough is able to flow naturally and help us see things from a different and more enlightened perspective.

It takes courage to follow your truth after you’ve discerned all the vast opinions and thoughts from others. But it’s with the grace and ease of Giraffe that you hold your head high and move forward with what matters most to your soul in order to evolve.

Cards from: Soul Coaching Oracle Cards by Denise Linn and Wild Messengers by Lola Pickett

***

As I was moving through my yoga practice this morning I was struck by the sun dancing through the birch tree leaves as I saw it through my window.

We are able to see energy though I’ve not yet been able to, but do know of someone who has experienced this. I couldn’t help but to at first think this is what I was seeing until I realized it was the sun filtering through the birch leaves and seeing it through my window made it appear in a light I’d not witnessed before. And then I just couldn’t’ help think it was the fairies that were here this morning doing a special and magical dance just for me to see.

I grabbed my phone and was able to capture the dancing of light or faeries if you choose to call it this too – and was surprised at how well it came through. Just look at the trunk of the tree and right in front of it you should see the sparkle of dancing light. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Wishing you a beautiful week filled with lots of light…and a few fairies to guide you too.  🙂

XO,

Barbara

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