Yesterday was the last day of The Sacred Alone ecourse I participated in which author Susannah Conway facilitated. I really hated to see it end. Though I didn’t want it to end, I’m not so sure without the daily emails, I will do it on my own. Maybe not as regularly, but perhaps when I need to. Will see.
One thing I do want to be better at is meditating. Susannah provided some wonderful resources for that, so I’ll have to check it out. It feels like a linking miss for me. While at the same time it feels challenging for me to do as I find it hard to sit still too long without feeling so fidgety.
Something also occurred to me yesterday as I thought about the idea of The Sacred Alone and being, well, alone. I thought about when I was in my 30’s and there was no way I could have ever imagined that I could live on my own.
I’ve been married for almost 30 years. I’ve never lived by myself. I used to be terrified thinking about the day if John would die before me. I couldn’t imagine living alone. It really scared me. The idea of being alone no longer scares me so much. I’m not yet ready to be on my own, or I should say, I don’t want to because of what that would mean and not having John by my side. But what is different now is that I know I will be okay. That makes a big difference.
I also recall quite a few years ago John saying to me that he didn’t worry about me being on my own any longer should something happen to him first. He said it gives him peace of mind as he used to worry about that.
I actually do spend a lot of time alone being that I don’t go to a job outside my home. For the most part, I love it. When I need to be around people, it’s nice to be able to choose for the most part, when I want to do that.
As I think about The Sacred Alone, it’s been lovely these last 14 days. It has affirmed for me that I truly do enjoy time by myself. I’m grateful for this season of my life to relish in the quiet and work alone. And I also appreciated this time to give myself permission to linger a bit longer in the mornings… to ponder, meditate and journal… and then “go gently” on with my day. “Go gently” is how Susannah signed her emails everyday, and I’ve taken it as a mantra to keep moving forward in my own life in this way too.
And should I forget, well, Little Miss Gidget is always my reminder to slow down and know that my life will move through the day just as it should be. Just as it should be.