This past weekend I ran into an acquaintance I had not seen in quite some time. Conversation was typical of questions such as, “What do you do now,” etc. At one point John, standing beside me, brought up the fact we adopted a new little special needs dog. I proceeded to tell the acquaintance where we adopted Joie from, etc. and the conversation led to the fact that Joie is paralyzed with the same disc disease like Frankie had. As the conversation continued there came a point where she said, “I wouldn’t think that is a quality of life for a dog.” Though I don’t come across someone saying this too often, it is never easy to hear. I felt my defenses rise up.
I remained calm and said, “Oh, I wish you could come spend a day with her to see how happy she is.” She then asked how she goes to the bathroom and I explained that I express Joie’s bladder for her. The woman’s face appeared quite perplexed as she said, “That is just weird.” Again it went back to quality of life. This lady did know of Frankie so I said, “Did you think Frankie had a poor quality of life?” She said, “Well I didn’t know her.”
While yes, I took this very personally and it hurt me, I’m also trying to understand how others view a paralyzed dog and I try hard not to put judgement on it, just as I feel I don’t want how I feel about it to be judged. But I have to be honest and say it cut deep for me. While I realize I can’t help others always understand, I have come to believe I am once again being called to stand strong in my belief’s.
When we got home, I sat with Joie on the sofa and the tears flowed as I looked at her sweet face lying beside me. Yes, I wondered, how could others think she does not have a quality of life? And yes, it feels very personal. It made me think of families with special needs children who may have similar challenges as Joie. We would never, ever say that to a parent of a child that it is “just weird,” would we? While Joie is a dog, and not a human, she is a living, breathing being. She is part of our family. We love her deeply and caring for her is what fills my soul.
As I work through the hurt of this situation, I feel like I am being called to be stronger in my convictions and to not freeze up inside when I face questions such as these. It could very well be that this person truly didn’t understand and couldn’t grasp that Joie, and dogs like her, can and do live happy lives. I am reminded to stand in integrity and grace for what I know is right in my heart for me. I know Joie is happy, as well as so many more like her out in the world. I’ve also been so blessed to have experienced the love and blessing of Frankie, and now Joie. It has opened me up and I’ll never be the same because of them. And though my heart still feels pangs of hurt, I feel the light of God and his creations, such as Joie, flood me with an amazing amount of love.