book writing

The Final Page and Canary Spirit’s Perfect Message

Posted by Barbara Techel

The editing and the cover of my book, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am have been completed for a few weeks now and the manuscript is in the hands of those I reached out to for endorsements. It’s the final tidbits of book publishing I need to yet complete before it goes off to the design team who will put together the interior layout.

The past few days I’ve been working on the very last page of my memoir. The page I’m working on? The acknowledgments. I’ve been writing a little each day. Trying to find the most appreciative and heartfelt words to express to those who have walked this journey with me.

I’ve done this so many times before and yet again I find myself in this stuck place. I know it’s because I feel a depth of gratitude for those that have supported me, but then how do I truly convey that in words?

And so I did what I often do when I’m feeling stuck. I pulled some tarot and oracle cards. I received Guardian of Water (from Gaian Tarot – Healing the Earth, Healing Ourselves by Joanna Powell Colbert) and Canary Spirit (from The Spirit Animals Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid). 

Guardian of Water was part of a New Moon reading I did for myself on Sunday and Canary Spirit is my animal for the month of December from a year-long spread I did for myself at the beginning of 2019. Interesting their appearance again.

Right away I understand these cards as reminding me to continue to go with the flow and not against the current. The turtle on the card symbolic of the fact I can’t rush this, and the fish swimming upstream I see as trusting my own flow. I can’t force this, but allow it to unfold naturally. Water is symbolic of emotions and I’m swimming in them right now, though not quite sure how to express them. The shell I see as if holding to my ear, and to listen and tune in to my heart, and then let it flow.  Flow seems to be the theme here, now doesn’t it?

Canary Spirit reminds me that no matter what, this whole journey of writing this book has been about singing my own song. Tears actually pooled in my eyes when I pulled the Canary card as it is packed with so much meaning for me. The writing of this book has set me free in boundless ways – and no doubt will continue to as it goes out into the world.

And in the end, no matter what, I know I put my heart and soul into this and grew in ways I never imagined I would. This allowing and not forcing has been something I continue to hone. And so what a lovely reminder from these two cards to come forth as the needed reminder to allow the flow with gentleness and graciousness…and trust that it will all come together, just as it always has.

And so with this message of truth, I now sign off and head out for a walk, which always proves good medicine too…

xo,

Barbara

Hey Gidget. Guess What? “I’m Fine Just the Way I Am” Book Update.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Yesterday afternoon the emotions stirred as I took another pivotal step in getting closer to publishing my latest memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. There is no denying it. I’m one sentimental gal. 

Early this spring three beta readers read my manuscript and last week I finished implementing their feedback. I also tweaked the afterword until it felt right. I then decided to let it rest over the weekend. I wanted to be sure I was ready for the next stage of the book writing process – handing my manuscript over to an editor.

Things progressed smoothly yesterday morning as I reached out to Dana who was my editor for my first two memoirs. She was happy to hear from me and said she is available to edit my latest book. Yay!

I’m really starting to think of all three of my memoirs as a trilogy now. Each one includes what I learned from each of my disabled dachshunds. I also think it shows a culmination of personal growth and transformation I’ve gone through since publishing my first book, Through Frankie’s Eyes in 2013 to Wisdom Found in the Pause in 2017, to this latest memoir.

After I sent my manuscript via e-mail to Dana I immediately thought of Gidget. I talk to her often and usually when I’m on my morning walks or before I go to sleep at night. Today was no different as I picked up the photo of her and said, Hey Gidget. Guess what? We did it! 

It’s because of her that I’m enjoying a new space of acceptance of myself. Because of her that I’ve done some really deep inner work. Because of her that I feel forever indebted to her. And this, of course, after all these months and all that she and I went through, is what prompted tears to fill my eyes.

I couldn’t have done this without her. And even though I’d have preferred the book to end differently than it did, I understand the gift in it in many ways. 

And I celebrate with Gidget in spirit just as if she was here with me physically. 

I’m also appreciating the timing of this stage of the process as it will be a 4-week turnaround for Dana to do the editing. Perfect timing as July is my birthday month. The perfect time to take some breaks and enjoy some just being time.

Though this morning as I came out to my writing cottage I’m feeling a void I’ve felt before when finished with the writing process of a book. It feels empty but fulfilling all at the same time. But another great reminder to honor it all.

XO,

Barbara

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I Burned My Manuscript

Posted by Barbara Techel

Truth be told. I’ve had a few moments since Gidget has been gone that I have wondered what is even the point of completing my book – my third memoir.

An edited paper version of it that I marked up in red ink, and before feedback from my beta readers, has sat on my desk for a few months now. Yesterday I looked at it and wondered why I kept it. 

This morning, after my yoga practice and journaling with the SoulCollage® card I made in honor of Gidget (which I’ll share in a future post), I felt called to burn the manuscript. 

I placed it in the chiminea that sits on our deck. It has held a fire most weekend nights and often entices deep conversation and contemplation. Tearing the sections of the manuscript in half, and then half again, I threw them into the chiminea, doused it with lighter fluid, and threw in a match.

It was cathartic to watch it go up in flames. A ritual of letting go of how the manuscript began – painstakingly at times and then the last six months it flowed with much more ease.

Before Gidget left, the draft I was currently working on was close to being polished with feedback integrated from the beta readers and then it would be off to the editor.

But it all stopped when Gidget died. I couldn’t bring myself to open the unfinished document on my computer. Though it was only about a week after Gidget left that I knew there would be an afterword for my book. But I’ve had to just sit with the many thoughts of how I will write it.

I will complete the book. And yesterday, I began where I left off with the chapter on a dream I had that was pivotal to my healing last year.

All of how this has unfolded has been the process that has been meant to be for me. There is no right or wrong way to write a book. This has been a valuable teaching for me over the years since I began writing here on my blog and the books I’ve published. 

I’m much more interested these days in listening to my inner voice and letting go of how other’s say we “should” write. I want to continue to follow my flow of energy, honor it and trust that all is happening in just the right time.

Just as I sat down to write this post an email came into my inbox from a woman I recently gifted my first two memoirs. What a beautiful confirmation:

I honor and bless the little girl in you who has chosen in this lifetime to do so much healing. I sense you are healing from many past lives. Stand tall in your newborn knowledge of who you are. You are so needed to share your light with all whom you touch.

Your books are beautiful. Your gentle heart comes shining through. I wish you peace in your healing process.

There is so much amazing support that the universe offers us when we stay open to the possibilities.

And with that, I’m signing off to update the next chapter of my book, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am…

XO,

Barbara

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