dog books

My Kylie, My Self: How Our Animals Mirror Us

2014-01-12 08.05.40I’m reading a fascinating book right now called, My Animal, My Self by Marta Williams. It is hard to put down. So much is resonating with me.

It is about how often times our animals are our mirrors. “Deeply and inextricably connected to us on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels, they can pick up and reflect back to us the issues and events of our lives.”

A subject not often talked about, but as I’ve been reading Marta’s book I’m seeing on an even deeper level how much my animals have been my mirror.

It’s had me thinking about my chocolate Lab, Cassie Jo who passed away from bone cancer in 2005, as well as Frankie and Joie, now gone too.

What really struck me though is thinking about Kylie being my mirror. I never looked at her in this way. I have with Cassie Jo, Frankie and Joie, but it never occurred to me that Kylie has in some ways been my mirror also.

I went back to read what I wrote about in a blog post and a recent reading I had done a few weeks ago with animal communicator, Dawn Brunke, with both Kylie and Gidget.

What prompted me to think about Kylie when reading Marta’s book was how she talked about how animals are leading their humans down an intuitive path. “That is the path of your heart, the path from which your inner voice speaks. It can be really hard to follow that path. It means you have to pay attention to what you truly need, not everyone else’s needs. You have to listen to your own counsel even when it is contrary to what everyone else is telling you. This is one of the hardest things to do in life. Is it any surprise that our animals are right there helping us learn how?”

In the reading Dawn shared that Kylie is the emotional calmer and she has held the center for a very long time. She then shared that as of recently, Kylie has really come into her own. It has been something I’ve noticed about her the last six months or so also.

As I think about myself since Joie passed away, I too, have come more into my own. Even more comfortable than before in my own skin, my own choices, my own way of seeing life, and really owning that without so much fear anymore of others’ judgment.

I can’t help but think my coming into my own even more so has helped Kylie and in turn we mirror each other.

I think back to when Kylie was 6 months old and Frankie became paralyzed. Our lives we chaotic for quite some time after that. Kylie was the gentle soul that stayed back, allowing me to take care of Frankie.

Then with my busy schedule with Frankie visiting schools and our therapy dog work, we came and went quite often, and often I’d be in a hurry. That seemed to throw Kylie off balance and if she felt in my way, she’d scamper to get out my way.

Since Frankie and Joie have been gone, we’ve all settled into a less busy household. While I loved all my work with Frankie, I find myself also enjoying this new time in my life. Kylie is most definitely reflecting that back to me as I can feel, as well as, see how much she loves our life at a bit slower pace too.

John often says with affection, “Kylie is a different dog.”

I couldn’t agree more as it warms my heart to see how much more at ease she is. As if her work of holding the center is now done and she is enjoying her “retirement” years.

How blessed I feel to have a dog who has all along had my best interest in mind and waited patiently as I found my way. Love you my sweet Kylie girl. Thank you.

My Inspirational Memoir, “Through Frankie’s Eyes” Turns One! Gift’s to Celebrate.

3D2 book cover tfeToday I celebrate the one year birthday of my memoir, Through Frankie’s Eyes!

My book is an uplifting gift for anyone who is a dog or animal lover, dachshund fanatic, mom, sister, aunt, best friend, vet or vet technician, animal advocates, or anyone who needs some inspiration. And pssst…. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner!

It’s because of loyal readers like you that it has been an amazing year since releasing my story out into the Universe to go where it may. What a joy it has been, and continues to be, to hear from those enjoying Through Frankie’s Eyes. Not only enjoying, but resonating with, or someone finding the courage to take a leap they’d been wanting to take.  It made it all so worth it.

A book that was hard to write at times – opening myself to feeling very vulnerable. But in being vulnerable, I received the gift of many like-minded beautiful souls like you, who I now feel this wonderful connection with.

Here are my gift’s to you with your order of Through Frankie’s Eyes:

1. With purchase you will receive this lovely, midnight blue pen (below), with my favorite quote inscribed on it: And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to let it blossom. -Anais Nin, as well as, laminated postcard with a few other quotes that encourage to live from your heart.

I have limited quantities on hand of the pens, postcards, and books so be sure to order today through my website if you want to take advantage of this birthday celebration offer. Offer not good on orders through online stores like Amazon or through independent stores.

IMG_1971 12002. FREE PRIORITY SHIPPING**
**Please note Free Shipping is only good within the United States. Sorry I can’t extend this outside of the US as cost is too high for me to cover. But if you wish to still order and are outside of the US, please email me at barb@joyfulpaws.com so I can quote you shipping rate.

3. Each book will be autographed by me, as well as stamped with Frankie’s authentic paw print.

These are for orders made only through my website, Joyful Paws.

Offer good now through Feb. 7th, 2014 or while quantity lasts.

Meet One of My Favorite Authors, Jackie Bouchard. Loved Talking to Her about Her New Book, “Rescue Me, Maybe?”

Jackie&Rita-B&W 1200Author Jackie Bouchard and her adorable Rita

Today I’d like to welcome author, Jackie Bouchard to my blog. I discovered Jackie over a year ago when I read her debut novel, What the Dog Ate. I enjoyed it so much I could hardly stand the anticipation of another book by her.

Well, that day came this past September when she contacted me and asked if I would review her new novel, Rescue Me, Maybe? I was thrilled!  After reading it, which you can read my review here, I knew I’d want to interview Jackie and share her with all of you.

Without further ado, my interview with Jackie!

Welcome Jackie!  First of all, where do you get your sense of humor?

I definitely get it from my family. I’m the youngest of 6 kids, and my siblings and I all bust each other up. My dad also loved to laugh, and loved to tell bad jokes. I think he remembered every dumb joke he ever heard! Also, I’m just not sure you can survive 12 years of Catholic school if you don’t have a sense of humor! Especially if you attended back in the days when the nuns were allowed to hit us with rulers.

Where did the idea come from to write Rescue Me, Maybe?

Cover-Rescue-Me-Maybe-Final-Med

The basic idea for the story is based on how my own dog, Abby, changed me. When we had our first dog Bailey, I used to say she was like a cat in a beagle suit. She didn’t really care about meeting new people or other dogs. She liked other people when she did meet them, but she didn’t go out of her way to greet people. As for dogs, she didn’t like them, so we would steer clear when I’d walk her. And that suited me fine, because I’m shy about meeting new people anyway. But when we got Abby, she LOVED everyone and wanted to go meet everyone! I was suddenly having to stop and chat with neighbors I’d never talked to before, because Abby would drag me, wiggling and happy, over to meet them. I also read an essay by a self-described “ol’ meanie” who got a super adorable dog and he wrote about how that irresistible pup forced him to interact with – and be friendly to – other people. I thought it would be interesting to write about a character who was changed by the dog she rescues.

Of course, just adopting a happy-go-lucky dog is not really enough meat for a whole novel, but as Abby’s story progressed, it gave me plenty of things to use as fodder for the novel. In the end, I wanted the book to be an homage to her and how special she was.

It’s no secret your new novel takes on a more serious note (though still some subtle humor) since it is about losing a spouse and a dog to cancer within weeks of each other.  What made you want to tackle these tough subjects?

020507 WetDogBailey

I actually didn’t want to tackle those tough subjects! But when our beagle, Bailey, died I found writing about a character dealing with the death of her dog was the best means for me to cope with missing Bailey. To add a twist to the story, I decided the main character’s husband would also have just died. Since we’ve dealt with cancer in two of our dogs, and I’ve made so many friends who’ve been in the same situation, it was – unfortunately – a subject that was close to my heart. After all, they do advise to “write what you know.”

I know the character of the dog. Maybe, was based on your own dog, Abby, who had special needs. As you know, that resonated with me because of my dog Frankie who was in a wheelchair due to disc disease. I faced similar situations. Can you talk more about those challenges and share your wish in helping others understand more about animals with special needs?

Abby-resized

Abby

Oh… the challenges. The challenges were almost entirely for me, not for her! Abby had to have her leg amputated at only 15 months old, because she had bone cancer. I was so worried about everything – would she recover okay, would we still be able to go on long walks at the beach, would the other dogs make fun of her. (Okay, maybe I didn’t worry about that last one. Or… only for a minute or two.) But she just dealt with it – and she dealt with it with supreme grace and a joy-for-life verve that was inspiring to see. That’s what I want people to know about animals with special needs – that they don’t feel sorry for themselves, and we shouldn’t either. They teach us so much about how to handle ourselves, and that we shouldn’t be so self-conscious, even if we think we’re “different” from everyone else!

Jane also struggles with admitting to others that she is sadder about the loss of her dog than her spouse. Do you think this happens often? Why do you think that is?

You know, I didn’t think that happened often… until I started talking to people about the book. I thought I was making up something unique, and even funny in a “dark humor” sort of way. I would be devastated if I lost my husband, so I guess the idea seemed foreign to me that a woman would be sadder about her dog. But then I heard from a lot of people who either knew women like that, or WERE that woman, or had been her at one time. So, now I’m thinking this might be a common situation! As for why that is… I can only guess, but I assume it’s partly because our dogs love us so unconditionally. Sometimes we hide bits of ourselves from others, even loved ones, because we think we’re not deserving of love. But you don’t have to hide anything with a pet. They love you, listen to you, and stick by you no matter what. I can see where it would be easy to fall into a pattern of not appreciating your spouse, and taking them for granted – or feeling like they take you for granted. Whereas – who’s going to love you as much as your dog does? Your dog will never take you for granted – it’s always pure joy for them when you return. That kinda love is hard to lose!

What is it that you want readers to take away from reading “Rescue Me, Maybe?”

I hope they feel happy and hopeful at the end, and that they look at their own life and think about how they can make the most of it. It’s not always easy to remember to do that, when we’re all so busy, but try to take a moment every day to appreciate the things you have and look for the beauty and love around you.

Your bio says you were “trapped in the hamster wheel of corporate America,” but you were lucky enough to escape to pursue your love of writing. I’m always fascinated by others doing this, as I am one of them. Any advice for others yearning to do the same thing?

Well, I was lucky to be able to “escape.” I’m a very practical person, so always did what was practical. Even though I felt like a creative type deep down, I got an accounting degree, knowing jobs would always be available. And they were, and they were good-paying jobs, so I was able to escape because I put in my time working and saving up money. And, of course, being married to someone who still has a job with benefits helps! I think everyone has to find their path to what gives them joy. Unfortunately, it’s not always something that you can make money from – or, you can make some money, but not enough to live on. So, even if you can’t afford to escape from what you consider to be a “grind” of a job, hopefully you have ways to bring joy into your life by other means. In my first book, “What the Dog Ate,” the main character says that accounting “feeds her bank account, but not her soul.” But in our society sometimes we do have to feed that bank account! Just don’t forget to feed your soul too, whether that’s through your work, an artistic endeavor, your hobbies, or volunteering. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had fat, happy souls from being fed so much?!

What is your writing routine like?

My writing routine is…odd. When I really get going on something, I barely stop to get up and get a drink of water. I get really nutty and end up with back and arm pain because I’m practically glued to my desk! {**Remembers that she’s been sitting at desk for hours. Stops and stretches, as advised by chiropractor!**} Okay, I’m back. Anyway, because of that, I don’t write every day. I usually take the weekends off to spend time with my husband, and on weekdays, I try to get everything else out of the way first (walk the dog, answer emails, blog, run errands, work out, etc.) because I know once I start writing, it’s likely that nothing else will get done. Usually by the time everything else is done, it’s mid-afternoon, so I’ll write until the hubs calls to say he’s on his way home from work. It’s pretty hap-hazard and not a routine that I’d recommend! Also, I’m one of the odd writers who loves to revise! I find it hard to sit down and write new stuff, but give me something to revise and I’m happy to spend hours obsessing over it. My love of going back and revising makes it tough to get a first draft completed!

You share your life with Rita, a rescue dog. Can you tell us more about her? What is your favorite endearing quality about her?  What drives you crazy and tests your patience?  J

We rescued Rita from the Baja Animal Sanctuary. As far as we know, she’s a shepherd/beagle mix – or a sheagle, as I call her. She looks so much like our two angels got together and had a puppy that we had to have her! One of my favorite things about her is that she loves to sleep in! We like to sleep in on the weekends, so it’s so great that she’s perfectly happy to just hang out, snuggling with us. On the other hand… the way she sometimes can be reactive to other dogs when she’s on leash, or to strangers when they come to the house can test my patience! She definitely has some issues from her past, being found on a beach in Mexico. We’re working on it, and she’s getting better, but sometimes it’s embarrassing. Like when my husband had a work colleague over – a very tall man. Rita hates big men! She barked at him every time he moved. It was a long night.

Of course you know I’m going to ask you this question: Are you working on another novel? If so, any hints for us and what it is about? Pretty please?

Yes, I am working on book #3. It’s hard to talk about a book that’s in progress (or even one that’s done!) because it’s so difficult to distill 90,000 words down into a sentence or two. Also, I’m not one to plot things out in advance, so sometimes I don’t know what a book is “about” until I’m very far into the process! (I don’t recommend working this way!) But I will say that I think it’s about how we can be so judgmental of each other and also about living up to expectations (your own and others’). I’m trying to tell that story through the character of a woman who is a dog-mom, and she and her sister (who is an actual mom) don’t get along very well!

Anything else you’d like to share?

The only other thing that I’d like to mention is to let your readers know that I’ve pledged to donate a portion of the profits on sales of “Rescue Me, Maybe” to Morris Animal Foundation. I think they’re a great organization and they fund research into canine cancer, which is a topic that I care a lot about!

You can order Rescue Me, Maybe? on Amazon.  Makes a great Christmas gift too for the dog lovers on your list.

Here is where you can find Jackie:

Website

Blog

Facebook

Book Trailer for Rescue Me, Maybe?