frankie the walk n roll dog

Letting Go of this One Word Could Just Possibly Improve Your Life.

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Expectations are disappointments under construction. – Joan Anderson

Image a world where we didn’t have expectations? I truly believe it would be a world with way fewer struggles. More acceptance of each other and happier souls walking this planet.

Ever notice when you go into a situation with expectations? How often are you disappointed? What if we just opened ourselves to possibilities instead of trying to control everything around us?

I can’t stop thinking about this quote ever since I read it in Joan’s newsletter yesterday. It really resonates with me. How many times I’ve caused myself angst because of how I expected something to turn out.  There are so many. But as a woman who is a work in progress, I am getting better at not disappointing myself.  Because I know I am to blame when this happens.

But being a woman in progress means I get to start fresh again the next time. I have a new opportunity to not set myself up for disappointment.

One example that came flying to the forefront of my mind was when Frankie became paralyzed. There was no other option in my mind of expectations but for her to walk again. I couldn’t fathom her having to live the rest of her life in a wheelchair. You know how much sadness and grief that caused me? But looking back on it today, I wouldn’t change a thing. I grew exponentially from that experience.

My expectations in this situation led me to becoming a better human being. I learned so much about myself in the process and changed in ways I never thought possible. So even though expectations can cause us great angst, I also think they can be wonderful opportunities to learn and to see that letting go of control will improve our well being.

Jackson and Frankie 1I would have never met Jackson, who also has special needs, if not for Frankie.  She positively effected the life of Jackson helping him feel better about himself.

What I appreciated that Joan shared also is that expectations are really our ego trying to get the best of us. We make expectations all about ourselves. We try to control circumstances so that we don’t have to face a fear we may have or so that we can remain happy in all situations.

That is what I did with Frankie, not wanting her initially to be in a wheelchair. It was because of how I felt I would be judged. How I worried that others may think I was cruel for putting my dog in a wheelchair. My own insecurity about myself and my self image played huge into this equation.

Thankfully, as many of you know who have followed my blog since Frankie, I came to my senses. This was about a sweet, gentle creature who needed my help and deserved to live a happy, quality life. Throwing my expectations out the window opened up a path for me that I never planned or saw coming. What a ride it was and I’m so grateful.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIf I had stayed in the place of expectations, not accepting Frankie needed a wheelchair, I would have never met all the wonderful kids I did. Thousands of kids are now part of my heart forever.

Two Years & 26 Dogs Later.

frankie fund bannerToday, the summer solstice, two years ago, is when Frankie made her transition into eternity.

Today I pay tribute to Frankie who changed my life in ways I never saw coming. I’m a better human being because of her. I carry her in my heart always. I no longer shed tears of sadness for the loss, but treasure the oodles of beautiful memories that light up my heart every time I think of her. To carry on her legacy through The Frankie Wheelchair Fund and National Walk ‘N Roll Dog Day are two of my greatest honors. I carry on your motto with pride: Always be positive, make a difference, and keep on rolling!

Guess what Frankie? Gidget and I are heading out on a special mission this morning.  I can’t help but think your spirit led us to do this. We will be doing a home inspection in a nearby city for an older couple wishing to adopt a chihuahua from a neighboring state. I have a feeling you’ve got a paw in helping this little one find her new home. We have accepted the mission and hope that this little new one has a new forever home soon. I have a feeling you already know the outcome.  Forever and always, I will love you my Frankie girl.

Remembering 100 Year old Sally & Frankie the Therapy Dog Visits with Her

sally and FrankieSally was one of my favorite residents at Libby’s House, Senior Assisted Living Facility. For three years, once a month, I’d take Frankie there as she was a certified therapy dog, and she would work her magic with the residents.

I remember being so nervous the first few times I visited. Many residents have Alzheimer’s or dementia. While I had experience around dementia because my grandma had it in later years, I’d never been around anyone with Alzheimer’s.

While not everyone at Libby’s House was challenged with either of these diseases, I didn’t know Sally’s situation as I wasn’t allowed due to the HIPPA Act. But meeting her and being with her the first few visits put me at ease. She was such a delight!

She couldn’t speak- well, I should say, not that you could understand. It was as if her brain had scrambled her words and it came out in gibberish fashion. But could she carry on a conversation! I would smile and nod as she always became quite animated and talkative when she would see Frankie roll into the main living room of Libby’s House.

The only word I could understand that she would say was the word little. She’d say it over and over again when Frankie came to visit. I assumed it was because Frankie was so small. She’d also clap her hands and begin what almost seemed like the sweetest chant, with her eyes fully lit up as she’d repeat, “little, little, little.”

On one visit a few months months after we’d been going on a regular basis, clear as a bell she said “Frankie!” The RN and I looked at each other and were in awe she said Frankie’s name. It is a moment I cherish in my heart.

Sally was always smiling when we visited. Always. During the last few months before I retired Frankie, Sally began singing. Again, you couldn’t understand the words, but she knew what she was signing. It’s as if she was a beautiful bird singing her own special tune.

Though I didn’t always know many personal things about the residents, I did know that Sally never had children. In many ways, I felt a special kinship with her being I never had kids. I’d often find myself looking at her wondering if this will be me someday. And if so, I hope I have the amazing, happy spirit that she had every time I saw her.

I didn’t learn of Sally’s passing until yesterday. It just so happens that John is doing work on Sally’s niece’s house, who adored her aunt Sally. She told John that Sally had passed away in early May and had celebrated her 100th birthday recently. While going through Sally’s things she came across a photo of Frankie I’d given Sally.

My eyes filled with tears as John relayed the story to me. For a moment sadness because I was truly fond of Sally. But then happiness for the sweet memories I have of her. How honored I feel to have been part of her life for such a short time.

I felt the need to know more about Sally and found her obituary on line. She died on the afternoon of May 4th. I thought about where I was that day. I was at Bookworm Gardens with Gidget to kick off their 4th season, hanging out around Frankie’s spot within the gardens that carries on her legacy.

I would also discover that Sally was her nickname, but her real name was Selma. She was married for nearly 70 years to Elmer. Now can’t you just picture the sweetest little couple named Elmer and Sally? Elmer passed away in 2004 leaving Sally a widow at 90 years old.

There was a gallery of photos with the obituary and what a treat it was to see Sally in her younger years, up until her 100th birthday. It gave me a sneak peek into the life of someone who touched my heart for what was truly just a short blip in time of her long life.

I find myself feeling a deeper kinship with Sally after reading about her life, married all those years, and Elmer dying only ten years before. Will this be John and me, I wonder?

At the end of her obituary it read: “Sally will always be remembered as a kind and gentle soul that exuded a zest for life.”

This was indeed the Sally I came to know. What a beautiful legacy. Simply beautiful.