We have had some work going on in our home since mid February. Hardwood floors that John installed in our living room and bedroom, plus existing kitchen hardwood floor was re-sanded and re-sealed to match new flooring.
With this came the tile floor now not butting up to the new floor in the bathroom and laundry room. John decided since the floor in the bathroom needed to be re-done we might as well fix the toilet that has been leaking, as well as a new tub/shower module as the drain didn’t drain correctly for a long time. This then led to the master closet needing new drywall when the tub/shower was installed as a section of wall had to be cut out to make it fit.
Years ago we pulled up the carpeting in the living room and bedroom as they were a pain to clean with animals – and one with no control, as you know, can make accident’s more likely. The economy took a dive around the same time. For years I lived with painted sub-floor. I honestly didn’t mind. They looked rather like an old cottage to me, and besides there were other things that were just more important to me.
Our remodeling project leading to more and more just about sent me over the edge at one point. Here I am, all about simplicity and all this stuff is going on in my house. Besides the fact I tend to like things somewhat in their place, so living in disarray pretty much since February makes me feel out of balance. Sigh.
We are in the drywalling stage now of the bathroom and closet, as well as little odd areas that as John says, “”might as well be fixed since we are doing this.” The closet organizer goes in this weekend (whew) so most things can be put back in place.
So here’s the thing. When I hit my breaking point with all of this, which was a few weeks ago, I just couldn’t understand why John wanted this all done. I was perfectly happy with the way things were. I could live with what was. I got upset with him and the tension was a bit tight between us one Saturday evening. And then he shared with me why he was doing this.
He is a planner. A thinker. A provider. He is also a general contractor who is very persnickety when doing work on other homes. He started to think about someday if he dies before me. He didn’t want the house to be as it is. He wants for me to have a nice home or if I move to get top dollar for our home. He also wants to be able to rent it out, if that is what we choose, should we want to build a tiny house when we retire. He was thinking of me. He was thinking of us. Of our future.
Well, let me tell you, when he told me this, my heart melted big time. Our living room was still empty as the floor was just completed. I said, “Come on, we are going to slow dance in the living room.”
I grabbed my ipad, found the youtube video of one of our all time favorite songs, “Two Sparrows in a Hurricane” and we held each other tight, and we danced.
This is the yin and yang of marriage, understanding each other’s needs, and honoring those needs. I also know that I am a lucky lady to have a guy I can openly communicate with, even if it takes some prying to get things out of John, we always eventually talk things through.
And as my mom always says, and I try to stay in balance through the remaining time of these projects, “This too shall pass.”