Today John and I are celebrating our 31st wedding anniversary. When this time rolls around each year I am always in awe on how quickly the years fly by. Time has become all the more precious.

I’m also so very grateful for having spent all these years with one of the greatest guys on the planet.

One thing I’m reflecting on today is the idea of gifts.

In our earlier years, presents were something I expected from John. I also often wanted him to just know what it was I wanted. When this didn’t happen it was oftentimes cause of angst and anger.

Oh, how I wished I had known better. It wasn’t about the gifts at all. It was about feeling understood.

All these years later I realize I got the best gift of all. A husband who truly understands me… and at times when he isn’t sure, he gives it his all in understanding and letting me be me.

Because of John as my partner in his oftentimes quiet, taking it all in, understanding way, I’ve been able to grow into the woman I am today.

I am without a doubt much stronger because of him. While he’s taken in lessons from me, I have gained so much from him, too.

This is the gift. It always was all along. I’m so glad I see that more clearly today, 31 years later.

I posted a photo of our wedding day on Facebook and someone asked me what the secret to a long, happy marriage is.

Well, it’s not always happy, that’s the thing too. But even when it’s not, it’s the foundation that you build that you know in your heart that you will always come back to love and why you came together in the first place.

A foundation of love, understanding, patience, give and take… rinse and repeat….rinse and repeat….rinse and repeat.

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