inner work

Making Space for Vulnerability to Morph into Confidence

Posted by Barbara Techel

Making Space for Vulnerability to Morph into Confidence

There is much in life that requires courage. And just because we may master it once doesn’t mean we won’t have to face it again in some other aspect. It also takes time when we find ourselves facing yet another layer we wish to shed and trusting that courage will be granted to us yet again. It’s building that inner muscle one day at a time that eventually you begin to feel a new strength gaining that you didn’t know you had.

I’m feeling this as I’m closing in on nearing the half-way point of going through the second draft of my manuscript, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am.

When the spark occurred last winter, seemingly out of the blue, as I drove to meet a friend for lunch, that perhaps I could write about the dark period I faced last year, I just wasn’t sure I could do it. It felt so incredibly vulnerable.

But then it began to morph into a possibility that perhaps by sharing my story, it could help someone else. But yet, I just wasn’t sure. And while I began this manuscript mid-way through 2018, there were many days I felt like I was trudging knee deep in muck…slogging through with so many doubts and fear that plagued me step-by-step.

Little-by-little courage started to make itself known which led to a growing confidence in writing this book. My writing flows so much easier these days than when I first began and it feels incredibly good. 

Just yesterday, as I do to each week to help set the tone, I randomly pick an oracle card from Tosha Silver’s deck, The Wild Offering. It’s a deck I have sitting on a small table in my bathroom. Perhaps an odd place you may think to keep an oracle card deck. But I love seeing the card I picked for the week where I can reflect on it several times throughout my day. 

When I finished my writing session this morning, I reflected on this line of the card: “You make space for something larger to take hold.” 

Writing a book I believe takes courage. It has taken for me the willingness to be with my shadows, my pain, and my fears, and to transcend them. While I’ll always be a work in progress and still falter at times, I have a new gained confidence I didn’t have a year ago.

The fear that felt so intensely consuming does not have the terrifying charge it had to it just a year ago. Writing for me is a way in which I’m able to witness myself transform. Going through the second draft, I have this new confidence that is guiding me that I wouldn’t have had, had I not been willing to take the necessary inward journey I did last year.

All of this has contributed to what I believe Tosha’s card is saying that it has made space not only for the evolved me to come through, but by also sharing this with other’s through my writing, may just perhaps allow for someone else to find the courage and confidence they seek to expand into who they wish to be, too.

And then that person holds that new vibrational space for another to do so…and it causes a ripple for yet another and another.

XO,

Barb

Bobcat Spirit (and Fox) Helped Shift Me Out of My Funk

Posted by Barbara Techel

Bobcat Spirit (and Fox) Helped Shift Me Out of My Funk

I awoke in such a funk this morning! Ever have those? And I wasn’t quite sure why.

As the morning wore on, the angst I was feeling continued to grow, even though I still wasn’t sure what it was about.

Getting on my exercise bike, while listening to a podcast, I felt my anxiousness continue to grow. Especially when I noticed two lint pieces on the arm of the sofa, and the more I tried not to notice them, the more they bugged me. And right away my mind tried to convince me that something was “wrong” with me.

But soon enough I knew this was a clear signal that something was brewing below the surface and I knew I had to work with it. John and I have something we say when seemingly simple things become the object of a frustration, and we know better that it isn’t about that particular thing. We say “It isn’t about (fill in the blank)! In my case today I said, “it isn’t about the lint on the sofa!”

Once I was finished exercising I pulled up the Insight Timer meditation app on my ipad, feeling called to find a guided meditation. I knew I needed to work with my emotions, but that I also felt that what I really needed to do was surrender. I came across a lovely woman named Sarah Blondin who does the most beautiful guided meditations. The one I chose was “I Learn to Surrender.”

Listening to her soothing voice and beautiful poetry of words, the tears finally came near the end of the meditation. I felt I still needed a bit more inward time so chose another one of her meditations. This time, I listened to “Accepting Change.”

Afterwards I made my way out to my writing cottage and sat at my desk where I keep my oracle cards and journal. In my journal I wrote, “Dear Spirit, What is it I need to know about the frustration I’m feeling today?”

From Wisdom of the Oracle I pulled Observer in protection (reversal) — the essential meaning of this card is about perspective, objectivity, and neutral observation from a distance.

So what did that have to do with my frustration? Well, I knew right away it was guiding me to see that I was getting caught up in my head of trying to intellectually figure something out that can’t be dealt with in this way. I was also trying to control my feelings of frustration because I was feeling bad for having them.

Once again I had to remind myself that all emotions are part of being human. In order to release them, I must feel them. The observer in protection (reverse) was my extra nudge from Spirit to take the time and pay attention and work through all my feelings.

Just the awareness of this brought me relief. Asking Spirit for my next right action step I turned to the Spirit Animal Oracle deck and pulled Bobcat Spirit and the short message on the front that says, “Life is a mystery.”

Ain’t that the truth, I heard myself say. And the truth is that sometimes that mystery can feel so very distressing because we want control and we want an outcome we are wishing for that we think is best. I was reminded, once again, that I have to be okay with the unknown right now.

Not only do I need to again practice sitting in the observation of all my feelings about a certain situation I realized my angst is about, I also have to trust that either an answer will come at a later point, or it may not come at all. Even though that feels uncomfortable, I’m being called to sit with it.

Turning to the guidebook after journaling my understanding of the cards regarding my particular situation, I especially resonated with this line from Bobcat Spirit:

No matter what, Bobcat Spirit is a sign that you are being called to trust, even when what is revealed does not agree with your need for intellectual certainty.

What I do know now with certainty that after taking this time to focus inwardly is that I’m feeling much better, even though the situation hasn’t changed and there is still uncertainty – but my perspective shifted and from this place I’m feeling much more peaceful.

As I look at the observer card again noting fox on the card I’m sensing the message of how sly and clever our minds can be at deceiving us. But it’s dropping into our heart during challenging times and listening and just being, that we eventually find our way back to truth and understanding.

XO,

Barb

I’m offering a special price on my Oracle Guidance Readings if you are feeling stuck and need some support. I’d be honored to hold space and offer guidance. Click on graphic to learn more about my readings. P.S. Though special price is only good through December 21st, you can schedule your session for the New Year if you wish.

A Poignant Message from Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin Movie

Posted by Barbara Techel

A Poignant Message from Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin Movie

When my dear friend shared with me the movie trailer for Christopher Robin as we celebrated our birthdays a few weeks ago, I just knew I’d have to see it.  And lucky me, she wanted to see it also.

I’m still relishing in the sweetness and fun we shared together which included a big bucket of popcorn between us as we gently and willingly tumbled back to our childhoods as Christopher Robin and the gang came onto the big screen.

How can one not love a yellow bear in a red mid-drift sweater, the gloom and doom of the oh-so-lovable Eeyore, the adorable Piglet, and the enthusiasm of Tigger?  I can never say Tigger without spelling it out and hearing it in my mind just like Tigger actually says it when introducing himself, T-I-double Ga-er!

The movie begins with a bit of background of the young Christopher Robin playing with his friends in the place many of us came to love, Hundred Acre Woods. I loved how the film depicted the flipping of pages of a book and a timeline of Christopher Robin’s life to the present, all grown up now, married, and with a young daughter named Madeline.

As often happens we all grow up and leave behind our childhood days too, the pivotal moments and memories that take a back seat to a world of demands from life and work. And how often we lose our way and lose sight of what matters. Christopher Robin, even though we’d like to believe he didn’t lose his way, is no different, as the film plays out showing him in a demanding job and missing out on spending time with his family.

While his wife and daughter go off to spend the weekend at their cottage, Christopher must stay behind because of the demands of work. Madeline leaves behind a drawing on the kitchen table of Pooh and the gang she found tucked in her father’s things, along with a note for her dad…. with of course, a jar of honey.

And wouldn’t you know it as his wife and daughter are away, and Christopher home alone… Pooh shows up just in time to help Christopher Robin and guide him back to his inner child.

The poignant message from Pooh hits early on in the movie once Christopher accepts his reality as being pulled back to the place he needs to be now in order to reclaim what he knew all along, but had forgotten.

It’s Christopher Robin and Winnie-the-Pooh on the bridge, throwing sticks once again into the water, watching them float under the bridge and back out again, when Pooh says, Doing nothing often leads to the best something.

How often as adults and in a world that spins faster and faster, we forget that pushing, pushing, pushing isn’t the way. The more we push, the less we feel, the less we feel, the more we spin our wheels, and lose sight of what’s important.

The theatre was packed that afternoon, with many giggles from children that could be heard. For me, this lent itself beautifully to reminiscing about the favorite parts of my childhood that I can recall – the stories I loved, such as Winnin-the-Pooh, and the many stuffed animals I had as friends that comforted me often.

While sometimes I think these movies are more for adults with some of the messages kids may not yet understand, I found myself hoping that even if the kids didn’t yet fully understand the message, that it stays with them as they too someday become adults…and my hope that they will bring to this world the importance and value of doing nothing on a regular basis, which really is something, that keeps us in alignment with who we truly are.

XO,

Barbara