intuition

Ending, Beginnings, and Sweet Sheep

Photo by Sam Carter on Unsplash

It’s a chilly, damp spring day and the day after my book launch of I’m Fine Just the Way I Am and my heart overflows. If you had wanted to attend but weren’t able to make it, I recorded it and you can watch it below.

As with any creative project that involves the heart there is a myriad of feelings I’ve experienced from preparing for the launch, to the actual launch day, to now on the other side.

As John and I had a date night in our R-pod last night as we’ve been doing every Wednesday since the pandemic began, I was flying high with excitement and a heart that was lit up in feeling so supported and loved. John shared how happy he is for me and he knows what a journey this has been for me – for us. He then said in the sweetest tone, “Are you going to take a few days off?”

My heart melted and it resonated as that is just what I wish to do. My art journal pages have been calling me again. Last week I had printed out this photo of this sweet sheep as something about her is speaking to me, so I’m looking forward to just playing with paint and paper and seeing where it will take me.

Though I was very tired in a good way when my head hit the pillow last night, I woke at 2 am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had dropped down into that melancholy space of realizing something has ended and something new which I don’t quite know what that is has begun. 

I honor it all as it is what continues to make my heart feel full of gratitude and peace. It was in the quiet of the morning then that this photo of the sheep called to me because she speaks of this softening within myself that is such a sweet space to be.

So off I go to just be for a few days. I’ll be back next week. 

As promised, here’s the recording of my book launch. I hope you enjoy.

xo,

Barbara

 

 

Honoring the Nudge and the Leopard Speaks

I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been feeling the nudge to do some art journaling. But I kept ignoring it, thinking other things were more important.

But on Easter Sunday, which felt odd in one way, but also comforting in another, I finally sat down in my writing cottage and got my art supplies out.

I really didn’t know what I was going to do, but just began gathering images and colors to work with. Staring at the blank page of my sketchbook it reminded me of how sometimes as a writer I just sit and stare at the blank screen not knowing what to write, but knowing that I need to write something because I can feel that something needs to be expressed even though it may be hidden from me at the time.

And the photo above this is what came from my art journaling session. Sharing it with a friend, she was curious the meaning behind it. I told her that I didn’t yet know. But while brushing my teeth this morning it came to me.

Using the ‘I Am One Who’ prompt used in the SoulCollage® process and speaking from the image this is the insight that came to me:

I am one who will no longer be held in the shadows. I am strong and confident as I continue to walk through this new portal of empowerment.

You know who you are that tried to keep me small. But you were actually the catalyst to help me step into the light of my strength and say, “No more.” I know you see me and I believe in my heart you are cheering me on. You are my mirror and I am yours.

In many ways you gave me the wings to fly because it was the determination steeped deep within me from what caused me pain and suffering that finally gave me the courage to step forward and claim my power.

It just flowed right out of me. Thank you Leopard for this powerful message.

xo,

Barbara

P.S. Thank you to the photographers for the beautiful images.

Forget Me Not. Never.

Forget-me-nots peeking through…

I sometimes find it intriguing how at times it seems I ‘miss’ things. But then perhaps, and what I really believe, is that I was meant to see something just at the time I did.

This morning is when such an occurrence happened. As I waited for the time to arrive to record my first interview with host, Lori Smashnuk Leduc of The Wiener Dog Lover’s podcast, to talk about my new book, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am, I was putt-sing around the house and doing some household chores. I then decided to clean out the birdbath and fill it with fresh water.

As I took the birdbath off the deck railing I glanced down and under the hydrangea tree I noticed the green leaves of the forget-me-not’s peeking their way out of hibernation.

I planted them last May in honor and memory of Gidget. She rests just a few feet away from them. At first, I wondered why I’d first noticed them today. Surely they were there before this, but I’d just not noticed.

But then I smiled. Of course, I noticed today. It was a nudge from Gidget cheering me on as I get ready to do the interview today. And how did I know? Because I felt a wave of emotion run through my entire body.

While there is always a tinge of sadness mixed in because I miss her sweet self, I also felt joy for the connection her and I still share. And so I welcome it all.

Thank you sweet, girl. I can’t wait to talk about you today with Lori and share it with others soon!

xo,

Barbara