Joie’s license plate arrived this week. It’s official… she can drive! Though this is not the plate I thought I had ordered. I thought I ordered the one with a red heart in each corner of the plate. Oh well, the bunny and owl is cute… more friends along for the ride, I say!
If her wheels look dirty it’s because she has been doing lots of off-road crusin’ lately on the path behind our house. She and Kylie love the path because it is packed with lots of critter smells. Their noses are in heaven!
Talking about my experience of running into an acquaintance that didn’t understand dogs can have a quality of life if paralyzed sure had many of you wrapping your arms around me with a big virtual hug. Thank you for that.
One thing I’m grateful for is my blog and that I can share my feelings through my writing when things like this occur. I also am thankful for the community I’ve been able to build through this blog, as well as Facebook, and my books, as well as, the sharing of Frankie’s, and now Joie’s life.
My writing helps me to work through things. I’m not always good face to face saying how I feel, but give me a keyboard and I can share how I feel with the emotions coming faster than my fingers can keep up at times.
Some of you expressed to me in so many words and thoughts to not give into what that person said and to keep on believing what I believe and doing what I do. I can assure you that I am, and will continue to. While I was personally wounded by the statements made from this person who does not understand the blessings of a paralyzed dog, I think I was more upset with myself for not standing taller in my conviction when speaking with her.
I want to be better at not having my defense emotion kick in and approach it more with grace and integrity. While I feel like I somewhat did that, I also realize that some people’s minds you will never change. Because I am an empath and very sensitive to things like this, it feels sad for me that others may never see this. So I think that does not help in my dealing with it at times. But I also realize what a gift it is to be the sensitive person that I am. It is why I am passionate about dogs in wheelchairs and dogs with IVDD… and really, all animals. I would not be who I am today without being open to the lessons they have taught me.
Reader of my blog, and friend, Kathleen said, “My first thought after reading about this encounter is that, as hurtful as it understandably was, this woman actually gave you a gift. She helped you reaffirm your own truth and stand firm in your convictions. She passed a quick judgement not even knowing Joie. It really says more about her than you.”
Kathleen is right and this is the conclusion I came to as I moved through the day yesterday after writing my blog post. I’m often telling others that when someone says something that feels hurtful, it’s really about that person’s own fears/issues, not yours. And here I was caught up in that same thing and didn’t see it at first. But I do now. I have no doubt that these situations are gifts to help us to continue to be who we are.
I also believe each encounter like this only makes me stronger and for that I am grateful. I can’t help but also feeling that I am being prepared as my new book is released early next year. While I’m excited to expand on my community and reach even further and wider , I understand not everyone is going to agree with my thoughts in my book. And that is okay. My encounter with this latest acquaintance is just another lesson sent to me to help me as I continue to move forward.
And guess what? Paralyzed dogs DO live quality lives… just ask me… I know. And I’ll continue to do my best to bring a positive light to these beautiful beings.
This past weekend I ran into an acquaintance I had not seen in quite some time. Conversation was typical of questions such as, “What do you do now,” etc. At one point John, standing beside me, brought up the fact we adopted a new little special needs dog. I proceeded to tell the acquaintance where we adopted Joie from, etc. and the conversation led to the fact that Joie is paralyzed with the same disc disease like Frankie had. As the conversation continued there came a point where she said, “I wouldn’t think that is a quality of life for a dog.” Though I don’t come across someone saying this too often, it is never easy to hear. I felt my defenses rise up.
I remained calm and said, “Oh, I wish you could come spend a day with her to see how happy she is.” She then asked how she goes to the bathroom and I explained that I express Joie’s bladder for her. The woman’s face appeared quite perplexed as she said, “That is just weird.” Again it went back to quality of life. This lady did know of Frankie so I said, “Did you think Frankie had a poor quality of life?” She said, “Well I didn’t know her.”
While yes, I took this very personally and it hurt me, I’m also trying to understand how others view a paralyzed dog and I try hard not to put judgement on it, just as I feel I don’t want how I feel about it to be judged. But I have to be honest and say it cut deep for me. While I realize I can’t help others always understand, I have come to believe I am once again being called to stand strong in my belief’s.
When we got home, I sat with Joie on the sofa and the tears flowed as I looked at her sweet face lying beside me. Yes, I wondered, how could others think she does not have a quality of life? And yes, it feels very personal. It made me think of families with special needs children who may have similar challenges as Joie. We would never, ever say that to a parent of a child that it is “just weird,” would we? While Joie is a dog, and not a human, she is a living, breathing being. She is part of our family. We love her deeply and caring for her is what fills my soul.
As I work through the hurt of this situation, I feel like I am being called to be stronger in my convictions and to not freeze up inside when I face questions such as these. It could very well be that this person truly didn’t understand and couldn’t grasp that Joie, and dogs like her, can and do live happy lives. I am reminded to stand in integrity and grace for what I know is right in my heart for me. I know Joie is happy, as well as so many more like her out in the world. I’ve also been so blessed to have experienced the love and blessing of Frankie, and now Joie. It has opened me up and I’ll never be the same because of them. And though my heart still feels pangs of hurt, I feel the light of God and his creations, such as Joie, flood me with an amazing amount of love.