journaling

Transitioning to Work at Home. Valuing It As Sanctuary and Who I Am

My little space of peace

It was literally written in the stars (and planets) that I’d come to value my home as my safe harbor. I say this because I have three planets in the sign of cancer. Beauty, comfort and a safe place to express myself fully is high on my list of self-care.

I wanted to share more about my transition from the corporate world to working from home in hopes it will help those feeling uneasy about the fact they may now be working from home while we learn to navigate these uncertain times. And who knows when we move through this time, it may be something others may want to put more permanently in place. I see so many advantages to this. And perhaps this is a time of reflection and re-evaluating what you really want moving forward.

It was in the early ’90s when I was making decent money working at a local resort. It was also during that time I thought my worth was dependent on showing I’d ‘made it.’ During that time I purchased a sportscar and made the payments myself from the money I’d earned. But it wasn’t long afterward that the joy of that faded.

Fast forward to 1999 and an angst inside me was growing stronger by the day. I wanted out of the corporate world. It just didn’t fit with what I was feeling. And just to be clear, I don’t have anything against working in the corporate world, it just became clear to me that this wasn’t where I was meant to be.

There was a part of me that was scared though to make a change. How would John and I make it without my income? He’d just started a construction business four years prior. But there was another part of me that was willing to do what it took to make the changes to work from home.

So I started slowly. I left my job at the resort and worked part-time for John’s construction business and part-time for another local construction business. Until I was let go a few short years later from the latter. I remember how devastated I was. Mortified is more like the word. I’ve always considered myself to have a strong work ethic, so this was a blow to my ego.

But it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise. While I still continued to work part-time for John, this niggle of not feeling fulfilled and not understanding why would eventually lead me to a life coach in 2005. Through that deep dive of exploration, I’d explore becoming a writer. And well, if you’ve followed me for some time, two children’s books later, many blog posts and newsletters written I was living the life of a writer.

It took me time to find my groove working from home. In the beginning, I had strict rules for myself. I had to stay in my office, or what I fondly call my writing cottage— a 10 x 12 space that John built for me— as if I were at a nine-to-five job. I’d be upset with myself if I wasn’t in my cottage by 9 am. 

What I’d come to realize over time that these were things that were conditioned into me. And I’d discover that this was really all about trusting myself. Working from home meant I was now entirely accountable for myself and that I was solely responsible for making sure I’d accomplish the tasks I’d set for myself.

From 2008-2012 I was working harder than I ever had in my life as I promoted my children’s books and along with my sidekick, my disabled dachshund, Frankie, who was in a wheelchair, we’d visit 400 schools and libraries, plus accomplish over 250 visits as a therapy dog team to local facilities.

And just as Frankie slowed down and then passed away in June of 2012, and I finished writing my first memoir, I was feeling strongly another transition occurring for myself. But again, as was my pattern, I ignored it. It being is that I no longer wanted to be out in the public eye in the way that I had been. I wanted to spend even more time at home.

When I finally faced up to the fact I needed to take a time-out I took the leap and made the decision to take a sabbatical for one month, perhaps two. As I mentioned in the intuitive oracle reading I recorded yesterday, the first two weeks of my sabbatical I about jumped out of my skin! It felt so uncomfortable moving from a fast pace to a pace of learning to just be and really listen to what my heart was trying to convey to me.

As I’d eventually share in my second memoir, journaling and using oracle cards to bring about new perspectives were two tools I used to help me as I moved from feeling anxious to find more peace within. I’ve never regretted that decision. It would end up being a beautiful time in my life, just like the experience I had with Frankie and the work we did all those years, too.

But what I’ve come to understand in times of uncertainty and those of transitional times, is to look for the gifts. There is a treasure hidden within if we take the time to really explore and be with it and not let fear take hold.

And I remember when a local TV station interviewed me at my writing cottage when all the rage was about ‘She Sheds,’ though in all honesty I never cared for the term. As with all things, there were some that find the concept of a space of one’s own as not necessary, but I was eager and passionate to express what my space has meant to me.

Being in the comfort of my home and my writing cottage has helped me grow beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself. It has been my soft landing of where I can feel free to be me. And the more I move deeper into this space of appreciating and loving myself for who I am, the more I can bring that out into the world in my own unique way.

So perhaps, just perhaps, there is something here that will be of value and to give thought to as we practice for at least another month this physical distancing and working from home. I’ve definitely found many gems with this and if this is speaking to your heart, I hope it will encourage you to find a way too. And if I can be of support for any transition you find yourself in, please feel free to reach out to me.

xo,

Barbara

 

Connecting with Gidget through SoulCollage® and Oracle Cards

I recently completed a SoulCollage® card in honor and memory of Gidget. It’s an intuitive process I’ve been trained in as a facilitator and have held workshops with different themes. Something I’m giving thought to for the future and facilitating some online classes.

Every one of my dogs has a card in honor of them and what it was they brought to my life. Central to the process after collaging on a 5 x 8 card is to journal with the prompt I Am One Who. 

It’s a sacred and beautiful way to connect with our dear animal friends who are no longer with us. I find it so soothing and healing.

Sometimes it takes me a while to put the images together and then journal. But allowing the process to unfold in a natural flow, I think, is all part of the beautiful teachings my dogs taught me – and to be in the present moment.

So I thought I’d share with you my recent connection with Gidget through the I Am One Who prompt and then working with oracle cards to gain some additional insight from her.

I Am One Who…

…sat quietly with you sharing my energy of truth as a way to guide you to yours.

…was content as who I am as a reflection for you to do the same.

…came into your life to hold your wounded heart as you found the courage to witness and accept your worthiness.

…resides within you always as the princess of your heart.

…sees deep into the soul of truth.

…took on your childhood pain, shook it loose for you to see and so you could set yourself free.

…watched your heart expand in compassion for yourself.

…provided unconditional love and support in your deepest, most excruciating moments of grief.

…loved you without judgment through it all.

…loved to entice the little girl within you to come out and play.

…rejoices and dances with you whenever you wish. Just think of me and I’m there.

…will always envelop you with the purest and deepest love as my everlasting gift to you.

…knows you will now carry the light of compassion within you and allow it to guide you through your remaining earthly journey.

I pulled an oracle card from the Wisdom of the Oracle asking Gidget what more she wanted me to know right now?

 

We are always connected. The key to being able to be with me is through quiet time and attention to the love we shared. That love is still here for you.

Our relationship has only changed form. I see you, I feel you, and I hear you. Rest sweetly in what you can’t see and know that it’s what you feel that matters. 

I’ll be your forever friend.

Thank you to Linda Su of ArtLin Creations for the beautiful and sweet gift of the memorial card in honor of Gidget. It’s such a lovely addition to my altar and I love how it looks next to the SoulCollage card of Gidget.

XO,

Barbara

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Oracle Cards as Self-care for My Soul

Oracle Cards as Self Care for My Soul
Cards from Wisdom of the Oracle

If you’d like to listen to this post as an audio, I’m beginning an experiment and recording some of my posts. You can listen here.

Life isn’t fair. It’s all I could think about after adopting a special needs dog, Joie, and her passing away ten months later.

I was numb. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t understand. A writer, author, and blogger for over six years, I suddenly had nothing left to say. I was scared and didn’t know what my future would look like.

The truth was I’d been ignoring that voice within that had been urging me to slow down, take a break, and re-evaluate what it was I wanted next for my life. But I ignored it.

Until now. Here I was in this space with the one thing I needed to do, but pushed away for the past two years because I was afraid to look because of fear—fear of the unknown and fear of judgement.

The best thing I could do, and I now know looking back, was to honor that nudge that had been trying desperately to get my attention. And so I dropped everything in my professional life, and took a two month sabbatical. Even though it felt extremely uncomfortable the first two weeks to do what felt like nothing

But with an empty calendar and hours looming before me each day, I made the commitment to journal my thoughts, feelings, challenges, and disappointments in hopes the excavation would reveal my next best step.

It was on the second day of this sacred time that I was guided to pick up a card deck I’d had for quite some time called Grace Cards. While I’d not classify them specifically as an oracle deck, they would introduce me to how there is always a benevolent force of energy guiding us.

Just like many of the dogs in my life have been a reflection for me, guiding me to be my best self, the cards were uncanny in matching my words on the page and what was going on in my inner world as I moved through this time of learning to just be.

It was during this time of transition I’d come to see a deeper meaning to true self-care. While bubble baths, spending time in nature, yoga, and meditation is part of my self-care routine, it was pulling a daily oracle card and journaling with it I was able to move deeper into finding the courage to express what mattered to me.

While I’d write and publish, Wisdom Found in the PauseJoie’s Gift about this inward journey I took in 2013,  I didn’t put any effort into marketing it like I’d done with my previous books. I’d eventually come to realize it was because of fear of judgement that people would think I was wonky for working with oracle cards as a tool for personal growth, as if it wasn’t valid. I’m grateful I now know better!

And it would be over the next few years, and continuing the journey of going inward, working with an animal communicator, a therapist, a pet counselor, and going through Oracle School, I would come to understand how old stories and past wounds I’d carried with me for far too long caused me to repeat patterns with my inner critic leading the way. The one who wanted me to believe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, that others would judge me, and that what I said and believed didn’t matter.

Self-care came to be about owning all my feelings and emotions and then working to integrate them into pearls of wisdom. And that the wisdom I’d gained from those past hurts and old stories were part of what was integral in helping shape me into who I am. Without those experiences I wouldn’t be the person I am. So I could either continue to curse them, or I could learn from them, understand how they influenced my life, and then release them.

This is what true self-care means to me now. It’s about the willingness to continue to be with my feelings and emotions, even those times when it’s uncomfortable and I’d rather resist and push them away. While I’m not perfect at this, I continue to be in awareness of the gift of this new perspective and trust that these are signposts are guiding me to more compassion, love, and understanding of self.

The three cards I purposely chose to go along with my thoughts on true self care are from The Wisdom of the Oracle deck. They speak to how different our lives can be if we open to the truth in our hearts, remember that a higher power has our back, and how we are then granted more blessed moments when we live in this way.

XO,

Barb

Oracle Card as Self Care for My Soul