love

My Rock. Happy Anniversary!

Posted by Barbara Techel

He is my rock. I am his water.

Thirty-six years of learning to embrace the qualities we each have that guide us to ebb and flow as a couple.

My astrological chart is full of water signs. John’s chart is pretty much all earth signs. It really is a perfect balance. Though this wasn’t always easy to understand about each other at the beginning of our relationship.

This week I’ve been reading Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, The Empath’s Survival Guide, Life Strategies for Sensitive People. It was serendipity that led me to the book after the week before when I was experiencing intense emotional pain. I realize now it was a culmination of the last few months and what we’ve been through in 2020 – and well, I finally tipped over the edge.

So much of what I’d held in came bubbling to the surface and over the next few days, I sifted through what it was about and how I needed to move forward. One of the gifts was that I was led to Dr. Orloff’s self-assessment empath test. After going through the twenty questions and having answered yes to seventeen of them, the results showed me as in the category of a full-blown empath.

There was relief in that, though I’ve known I’m an empath, but to the degree of which I wasn’t aware of. I chuckled to myself, but also realized I had some inner work to do. I’m grateful for Dr. Orloff’s book which has brought me much comfort.

So how does this apply to the rock of my life? Well, in short – I chose well. Or perhaps what I really believe to be true is that it was destined to be that John and I would become partners.

I loved this statement in the book: “In a soul mate relationship, both people are dedicated to their own and the other’s growth.” While I didn’t realize this at the beginning of our relationship it became clear to me in my early 40s how blessed I was to have this with John.

Reading further I came to this type of partner and knew this is the one I have in John: “The Rock, or Strong and Silent Type – Consistent, dependable, and stable, this type of partner will always be there to lean on. Empaths can express emotions freely around them. Rocks won’t get alarmed or be critical. They can be counted on, which is reassuring for empaths, who love consistency. But Rocks often have a hard time sharing their own feelings. Their empath mates may keep trying to get them to open up but become frustrated with the slow progress (I can so relate to this! But I will say John is much better now at opening up. 🙂 ).

Empaths and Rocks can make wonderful partners. They balance each other. Rocks can learn from empaths how to express their emotions and passion more clearly, while empaths can learn to be more grounded from Rock (I’ve definitely learned this from John!). It’s not that Rocks don’t have feelings; it’s that they need loving support to bring them out. Their feet are solid on the earth.”

So today on our wedding anniversary I’m feeling especially grateful for my Rock. And I found myself moved to tears when I unexpectedly came across a song this morning that I’d not heard before. No doubt Spirit put this in my path.

John and I are hoping to make it happen that we can go to Blue Ridge, GA for two months this winter. He’s been presented with a wonderful opportunity to do some remodeling work on a beautiful home his sister and husband bought in the mountains.

I’ve been blessed to have seen the Blue Ridge mountains a couple of times already in my life and each time I’ve been in their presence I’m moved to tears. I don’t know why that is, but all I can say is that it feels good to be around them.

With all that has transpired this year, it has sunk in deeper how short this one precious life is that we have. While a part of me can’t imagine being gone two months from my cozy home and my Joyful Pause Cottage where I work, another part of me really wants to make the trip. And at times I picture myself packing my laptop, some books, and art supplies to find inspiration in the mountains.

And this is where the song comes in…and the line that brought tears to my eyes…and must surely be a sign from Spirit…

“and if you take my hand I’ll walk with you to Georgia.”

XO,

Barbara

 

Love and Grief are a Package Deal

Posted by Barbara Techel

 

Love and grief are a package deal. ~Elaine Mansfield

Yesterday John and I spent a few hours at his sister Donna’s house who lost her husband of twenty years a little over five months ago. Donna and I are the same age having graduated together. Words can’t express how my heart hurts for her as she now must move forward in a new way without the love of her life.

It’s certainly a time when one re-examines their own life when something like this happens. While you can understand to a certain degree what she is going through, one can never fully know until we each are faced with it. And grief…so very personal.

But Donna was in good spirits and is making steps forward which was a relief to both John and my hearts. She is such a beautiful, bright spirit in this world – and I’ve always said is the female version of John. They both know how to make other’s laugh and something I’ve adored about them both since I’ve known them.

John and I were both lost in our own thoughts, driving the hour home, when I saw this quote, love and grief are a package deal on my friend, Monica’s Instagram page. While I know this to be true, it really sank deeper in my being reading it at that particular moment.

The thought still on my mind as Donna is, while I puttsed around the house this morning, feeding the hummingbirds, changing the water in the bird bath, I look up to see a chipmunk sunning himself in the sun on the rock in the garden.

Whooosssh went my emotions…a heaviness in my heart for Donna while a moment of love for the sweetness of this dear little chippie looking so adorable on that rock. Oh, how he made my heart smile! So appropriate his timing, I thought. How chipmunks are so playful, skittering here and there, building new paths wherever they go.

And what I wish for Donna as she learns to navigate her world in a new way…that her heart will smile again someday too. One of the hardest things to endure….grief….but that to have loved with one’s whole heart is so worth it. So very worth it.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

Wisdom of Healing from Mourning Dove

Posted by Barbara Techel

By embracing love, instead of fear, we become an example of the compassion and strength needed to help change the world. Peace was never won with violence and faith has never been met with darkness. Let us share hope with others through our intention to make the world a better place, one moment and one action at a time. ~Louise Hay

I woke with a heavy heart today. As an empath, I have to be careful that I don’t surround myself with too much anger or negativity. It does not mean that I’m ignorant to what is transpiring in our world, but in order for me to be my best self and serve the greater good in what I believe can add to the world in a positive way, I have to not get caught in a downward spiral of anger or fear.

And this means sometimes separating myself from the anger and fear, and doing the work I need to do to keep myself in balance. I don’t always remember to do this and can get caught up in the fear of which I found myself beginning to spiral down into this morning.

Lost is this whirl of emotions I was feeling, I glanced out onto my deck to see two mourning doves. To me, they represent love and peace – and my heart lightened realizing this powerful message that I needed to be reminded of in that moment.

Researching further into their symbolism I found this:  But far from representing death, the symbolism of mourning doves gives us optimism with its spirituality. Beyond their sorrowful song is a message of life, hope, renewal and peace.

While there is so much poison of fear being spread wide and far these days, I still hold onto hope, even when it’s hard, and I feel it quite heavy in my heart, and all I want to do is not function.

I had a choice this morning – I could let my heavy heart lead for the day – or I could work through my feelings to help them to begin to shift. The mourning doves were that needed symbol for me.

Taking a moment to expand on this, I sat down and picked two oracle cards for the day, plus one of my SoulCollage® cards. They were further confirmation of what I needed in working through all my feelings.

From The Nature-Speak Oracle – Rose – Love & Healing:  The appearance of rose, indicates an opening of the heart and the ability to touch the hearts of others. Your ability to express love now has great healing potentials – for yourself and others.

From Wisdom for Healing – Observe Your Conversations: Observe the conversations you engage in today. Are they productive or mean-spirited? Are they filled with gossip or stimulating information? Your goal: to recognize the quality of information you feed your mind each day.

My SoulCollage® card: This card represents peace and honor to me. Striving for peace and honoring that in myself and helping others to find that within themselves, which means I have to (and want to) be that example.

While I kept gradually shifting back into the space of my own truth and what I believe, yet another sign appeared from a friend who posted this image this morning saying: This is the month of love. I’m tired of all the anger and I think the we need more love!

And so it is.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.