marriage

Reflecting on 31 Years. One Important Thing I’ve Learned About Being Married.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Reflecting on 31 Years. One Important Thing I’ve Learned About Being Married.

Today John and I are celebrating our 31st wedding anniversary. When this time rolls around each year I am always in awe on how quickly the years fly by. Time has become all the more precious.

I’m also so very grateful for having spent all these years with one of the greatest guys on the planet.

One thing I’m reflecting on today is the idea of gifts.

In our earlier years, presents were something I expected from John. I also often wanted him to just know what it was I wanted. When this didn’t happen it was oftentimes cause of angst and anger.

Oh, how I wished I had known better. It wasn’t about the gifts at all. It was about feeling understood.

All these years later I realize I got the best gift of all. A husband who truly understands me… and at times when he isn’t sure, he gives it his all in understanding and letting me be me.

Because of John as my partner in his oftentimes quiet, taking it all in, understanding way, I’ve been able to grow into the woman I am today.

I am without a doubt much stronger because of him. While he’s taken in lessons from me, I have gained so much from him, too.

This is the gift. It always was all along. I’m so glad I see that more clearly today, 31 years later.

I posted a photo of our wedding day on Facebook and someone asked me what the secret to a long, happy marriage is.

Well, it’s not always happy, that’s the thing too. But even when it’s not, it’s the foundation that you build that you know in your heart that you will always come back to love and why you came together in the first place.

A foundation of love, understanding, patience, give and take… rinse and repeat….rinse and repeat….rinse and repeat.

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Laughter and Love Notes

Posted by Barbara Techel

Laughter and Love Notes

I was 15 when I fell head-over-heals in love with John. He was 19. I can only imagine how I likely made my parents nervous when I began dating John being that our age spread was what seemed awkward then.

But it all worked out. Over 30 years later we are still together. It was his adorable smile, blue eyes, and hair that hung just a bit over his collar that made me swoon.

As I got to know him it was his sense of humor that made me fall even deeper in love. This guy can make me laugh. And smile.

Like today, when I got up and he was already off to the job site. But sitting on the kitchen table on the placemat where I sit to eat my breakfast was this silly drawing with my reader glasses.

Not like our love notes of our younger years, but it sure did make my heart swoon. It was the thought that he was thinking of me that touched me. And the image in my mind picturing how he likely looked putting this together.

And here I go again, falling in love all over again.

Tumble.

Swoon.

Tumble.

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He’s a Keeper.

Posted by Barbara Techel

 

john and gidgThis month marks 36 years that I’ve been with John. Not all of those married.

I fell head over heels in love with him when I was a freshman in highschool. He was a senior. Off to college he went. Returned in six months. It wasn’t for him.

We began to date. We dated for six years. Fresh out of a two year college degree, we married. It’s been bliss every since.

Okay, well, maybe not complete bliss. We’ve had our ups and downs. Some big ups and some big downs. But I wouldn’t trade any of it. He’s a keeper.

This past fall we went through some tough challenges – well, at least challenges to us.

But as we’ve moved into the New Year, I’ve felt a deeper sense of love and compassion from John. He’s always been a very caring man, but there is just something more now.

It’s the little things, really. Lately he’s been telling me how pretty I am. Not that I really need to hear that all that much anymore, as I’ve gotten so much more comfortable in my own skin. But still, it feels good to hear it. And I hear it differently than when I was younger. It feels sweet and makes my  toes tingle.

It’s the way in which he talks to Kylie and Gidget. How he looks when he’s loading the wood in the woodstove, talking to Gidget who is often times beside him, “helping.” My heart does sommersaults for the love I see radiating from him in those moments.

It’s how he has learned to settle in at the end of the day, comfy in his flannel pants with “Life is Good” yellow labs on them, and his slippers, relaxing across from me in the living room in the big maroon chair. It wasn’t always easy for him to do this.

It’s the way in which he wraps his arms around me in the morning. Hugging me before he is out the door. The way his arms feel around me makes me feel safe and secure. Different than from when I was young and when it was all about reassurance.

I’m truly proud of the person he has become and how he is willing to keep growing, even when things have been difficult.

He is so much a part of what defines a meaningful life for me. So, Yes. Yes, indeed. He’s a keeper. Lucky lady am I.