meditation

The Tug and Pull – An Opportunity to Be in the Here and Now.

Posted by Barbara Techel

This morning during my meditation it started out with me sinking into the corner of the sofa and feeling quite calm. Then I noticed within a few moments that my mind began to wander and off into worryland it went.

I tried to just watch my mind as an observer —trying to stay detached to it — and trying not to get caught up in the drama it was creating. After all, I reminded myself, these were just thoughts I was having. Nothing was actually happening at that moment as all alone was I, sitting on the sofa in my quiet and safe home. 

My thoughts first drifted back to the past – thinking about something I’ve learned and how I wanted to identify with that teaching as a ‘mistake’ or wishing I had done better. I found myself in the spiral of self-judgment. Then I felt it physically in my body as my stomach began to feel like it had a knot in it.

Then my mind drifted to the future as I thought about the release of my next memoir in early 2020. What will become of it, I wondered? I then noted this tug and pull going on in my stomach. As if the right side was pulling the left side and vice Versa and back and forth it went. Soon enough I realized my shoulders were just about up under my ears! Very uncomfortable!

I dropped my shoulders, but still felt the tug and pull in my stomach. A moment later the last oracle card I pulled as I did a fall equinox reading for myself last night flashed into my mind. 

The card I pulled was, “Here and Now,” and the question I asked was from an oracle spread created by intuitive Jessica Paschke. It was basically asking what I’d bring with me from the past of what I learned into the next season of winter. 

The minute I conjured up the image of that card in my mind and saw the words again of here and now, I observed that the tug and pull in my stomach stopped. I was having those feelings again of wanting to control an outcome, be guaranteed security, and know all will be well — a pattern that I know many of us have – and one I realized once again that I can change at any time I choose.

After I was done meditating I pulled the card back out again from the deck to look at it and re-read my journal entry. The line I wrote that jumped out to me is: “In the present moment is where my power is!”

It’s so easy to give our power away, but then when we do we suffer. When I looked at the image again the past and future signposts jumped out at me. I was reminded to take with me what I’ve learned from the past – and that living in the past (my old story) does not serve my well-being. What I can take from it is the new awareness I have of what I’ve learned in order to create a better future – even though I don’t always know precisely what the future holds.

My eye then traveled to the sweet being sitting on the egg. The egg is symbolic of new life and hope. I appreciated also the open window on the egg — as if a window to my inner world and how if I stay open to receiving and in touch with how the universe is always supporting me, I will be just fine.

XO,

Barbara

Card from Wisdom of the Oracle deck my Colette Baron-Reid.

Grief Is Not In the Present Moment

Posted by Barbara Techel

Grief is not in the present moment, it is our perception. ~Lisa Wimberger, Founder of Neurosculpting Institute

I recently took part in a Neurosculpting session gifted to me by my friend Connie who is a facilitator of the process. She reached out to me after the passing of Gidget with this lovely gesture.

The definition in short from Neurosculpting Institute website is: “Neurosculpting® is a 5-step meditation process that can strategically help an individual release the grip of old patterns and entrain their brain to creating new and more supportive patterns, habits and behaviors.”

A session is about quieting the flight/fight response, focusing on curiosity within the front part of the brain (pre-frontal cortex), engaging both sides of the brain (actually toggling between the two so you don’t stay stuck and utilizing both in achieving balance), creating a link as a reminder by tapping a part of the body, and giving the experience a name to return to when you find yourself back in flight or fight mode.

In regards to the brain, we either spend most of our time in the left side (logical and analytical) or right side (creativity and arts). I tend to be in the right side of my brain and feel most comfortable there. Many of us don’t give enough attention to the front part of our brain which helps us work with, and through, our emotions.

For my session, we focused on grief because of the recent passing of my dog, Gidget.

I’m not going to go into all the details of the session as I wanted most to share how the quote above really struck me and still stays with me: Grief is not in the present moment, it is our perception.

Our past stories, just like grieving the loss of someone we love, we can easily stay trapped there. Connie shared that grief comes with a story, a history, and an energy.

I admit that connecting the thought of being in the present moment, which I continue to strive for, and linking it to grief is one my mind has to really concentrate on to take in.

I am grieving what was (my past) and wondering what is next (my future now looks different than what I thought it would).

I thought Gidget was going to be with me for many more years. Her death felt so sudden. My brain tries to make sense of it, but in reality, there is nothing to make sense of.

If I stay in the present moment, the past is complete with Gidget. My future is not yet known, thus I only have right now. And in this right now I can choose to be sad, happy, negative or grateful.

There is no changing that Gidget is gone. I’ll never see her again. But I can be with the teachings, the joy, and the love of who she is right here in this present moment. This makes me smile and fills my heart with happiness.

By association, Connie took me through different stages during guided meditations. One of which was permission. Within the permission meditation, I associated it with the color yellow. I then saw an image of me as a little girl in a yellow dress riding my bike. To me, yellow represents joy. I tapped my hand on my heart as a way in which to remember I can give myself permission to experience joy.

For grief, I saw it as the color of gray and like a fog. I put it in an old-fashioned candy jar to contain it, yet I could still see and recognize it for what it is. When I feel anxious about grief I feel it in my stomach area, so I tapped there to release it.

The color I chose to represent the future was red which for me represents freedom. The song that popped into my head was Let freedom Ring by Martina McBride. “Let the white dove sing” which is a line in the song, I associated with the fact that my future is free from carrying the grief with me to the point that it would prevent me from being happy and continuing to move forward.

Just revisiting my notes from this experience I feel lighter in spirit and know that I don’t have to stay trapped in sadness. I honor all the feelings, but I also allow them to flow through me, instead of consuming me.

So this quote, when I sit and simmer in it makes perfect sense. While grief is real, we must honor it for the gift it gives us in that we were also able to experience love. And love is something we can choose to feel in the present moment.

I realized today also that the gift of grief and feeling my heart cracked open from the loss of Gidget, I am so much more aware of what matters. The birds, the flowers, the trees, the sun, my gardens, my life with John, and I could go on….but I have so much to be grateful for.

XO,

Barbara

Subscribe to my newsletter here for a bi-monthly digest of my blog posts, plus oracle readings, wisdom from the animal kingdom, first to know special offers and more and/or

Subscribe here to receive my blog posts as they are published.

Bobcat Spirit (and Fox) Helped Shift Me Out of My Funk

Posted by Barbara Techel

Bobcat Spirit (and Fox) Helped Shift Me Out of My Funk

I awoke in such a funk this morning! Ever have those? And I wasn’t quite sure why.

As the morning wore on, the angst I was feeling continued to grow, even though I still wasn’t sure what it was about.

Getting on my exercise bike, while listening to a podcast, I felt my anxiousness continue to grow. Especially when I noticed two lint pieces on the arm of the sofa, and the more I tried not to notice them, the more they bugged me. And right away my mind tried to convince me that something was “wrong” with me.

But soon enough I knew this was a clear signal that something was brewing below the surface and I knew I had to work with it. John and I have something we say when seemingly simple things become the object of a frustration, and we know better that it isn’t about that particular thing. We say “It isn’t about (fill in the blank)! In my case today I said, “it isn’t about the lint on the sofa!”

Once I was finished exercising I pulled up the Insight Timer meditation app on my ipad, feeling called to find a guided meditation. I knew I needed to work with my emotions, but that I also felt that what I really needed to do was surrender. I came across a lovely woman named Sarah Blondin who does the most beautiful guided meditations. The one I chose was “I Learn to Surrender.”

Listening to her soothing voice and beautiful poetry of words, the tears finally came near the end of the meditation. I felt I still needed a bit more inward time so chose another one of her meditations. This time, I listened to “Accepting Change.”

Afterwards I made my way out to my writing cottage and sat at my desk where I keep my oracle cards and journal. In my journal I wrote, “Dear Spirit, What is it I need to know about the frustration I’m feeling today?”

From Wisdom of the Oracle I pulled Observer in protection (reversal) — the essential meaning of this card is about perspective, objectivity, and neutral observation from a distance.

So what did that have to do with my frustration? Well, I knew right away it was guiding me to see that I was getting caught up in my head of trying to intellectually figure something out that can’t be dealt with in this way. I was also trying to control my feelings of frustration because I was feeling bad for having them.

Once again I had to remind myself that all emotions are part of being human. In order to release them, I must feel them. The observer in protection (reverse) was my extra nudge from Spirit to take the time and pay attention and work through all my feelings.

Just the awareness of this brought me relief. Asking Spirit for my next right action step I turned to the Spirit Animal Oracle deck and pulled Bobcat Spirit and the short message on the front that says, “Life is a mystery.”

Ain’t that the truth, I heard myself say. And the truth is that sometimes that mystery can feel so very distressing because we want control and we want an outcome we are wishing for that we think is best. I was reminded, once again, that I have to be okay with the unknown right now.

Not only do I need to again practice sitting in the observation of all my feelings about a certain situation I realized my angst is about, I also have to trust that either an answer will come at a later point, or it may not come at all. Even though that feels uncomfortable, I’m being called to sit with it.

Turning to the guidebook after journaling my understanding of the cards regarding my particular situation, I especially resonated with this line from Bobcat Spirit:

No matter what, Bobcat Spirit is a sign that you are being called to trust, even when what is revealed does not agree with your need for intellectual certainty.

What I do know now with certainty that after taking this time to focus inwardly is that I’m feeling much better, even though the situation hasn’t changed and there is still uncertainty – but my perspective shifted and from this place I’m feeling much more peaceful.

As I look at the observer card again noting fox on the card I’m sensing the message of how sly and clever our minds can be at deceiving us. But it’s dropping into our heart during challenging times and listening and just being, that we eventually find our way back to truth and understanding.

XO,

Barb

I’m offering a special price on my Oracle Guidance Readings if you are feeling stuck and need some support. I’d be honored to hold space and offer guidance. Click on graphic to learn more about my readings. P.S. Though special price is only good through December 21st, you can schedule your session for the New Year if you wish.