personal growth

Hey Gidget. Guess What? “I’m Fine Just the Way I Am” Book Update.

Yesterday afternoon the emotions stirred as I took another pivotal step in getting closer to publishing my latest memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. There is no denying it. I’m one sentimental gal. 

Early this spring three beta readers read my manuscript and last week I finished implementing their feedback. I also tweaked the afterword until it felt right. I then decided to let it rest over the weekend. I wanted to be sure I was ready for the next stage of the book writing process – handing my manuscript over to an editor.

Things progressed smoothly yesterday morning as I reached out to Dana who was my editor for my first two memoirs. She was happy to hear from me and said she is available to edit my latest book. Yay!

I’m really starting to think of all three of my memoirs as a trilogy now. Each one includes what I learned from each of my disabled dachshunds. I also think it shows a culmination of personal growth and transformation I’ve gone through since publishing my first book, Through Frankie’s Eyes in 2013 to Wisdom Found in the Pause in 2017, to this latest memoir.

After I sent my manuscript via e-mail to Dana I immediately thought of Gidget. I talk to her often and usually when I’m on my morning walks or before I go to sleep at night. Today was no different as I picked up the photo of her and said, Hey Gidget. Guess what? We did it! 

It’s because of her that I’m enjoying a new space of acceptance of myself. Because of her that I’ve done some really deep inner work. Because of her that I feel forever indebted to her. And this, of course, after all these months and all that she and I went through, is what prompted tears to fill my eyes.

I couldn’t have done this without her. And even though I’d have preferred the book to end differently than it did, I understand the gift in it in many ways. 

And I celebrate with Gidget in spirit just as if she was here with me physically. 

I’m also appreciating the timing of this stage of the process as it will be a 4-week turnaround for Dana to do the editing. Perfect timing as July is my birthday month. The perfect time to take some breaks and enjoy some just being time.

Though this morning as I came out to my writing cottage I’m feeling a void I’ve felt before when finished with the writing process of a book. It feels empty but fulfilling all at the same time. But another great reminder to honor it all.

XO,

Barbara

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Chaos as Opportunity: Oracle and Animal Guidance for the Week

Our cards this week are both in protection (reverse) Chaos and Conflict and Sandpiper Spirit.

Note: I’m sharing a photo of the cards upright so you can study them for yourselves for added personal insight and how the message may pertain to you.

Whenever this card shows up in a reading I try to take a moment to check in with myself. It’s easy to look at this card and think, Oh no, I don’t want chaos or conflict! Who does, right? But the card pulled in reverse is asking us where do we feel conflicted right now and how can we approach this as an opportunity to deepen in understanding? Not only for the benefit of ourselves but for all involved.

Think about those times where something just wasn’t working out as you hoped. But yet, when you look back you can more often than not see that what you thought you wanted that didn’t come to fruition was actually for your best interest.  In the middle of chaos it’s important to take a moment, pause, and really listen for what you are feeling and to stay in the present moment.

To think ahead of what could be or what might or might not happen only causes more internal chaos and conflict.

Zebra also is a reminder that most things are not black and white. So many factors may be at play and each needs to be taken into consideration.

Sandpiper Spirit as the second card pulled and the message of “Be playful” is another valuable reminder of when something feels out of control the importance of getting out of our mental state and engaging in some time to just be. I love that the Sandpiper on this card is splashing in the water and lotus flowers float around him.

The lotus is rooted in deep mud and grows through to become this beautiful flower. Just like we too, when in the thick of what feels like slogging through the muck is leading us to bloom in a new and expanded way.

Sandpipers are scavengers and must work hard to find their food. This is another good message for us that in order to feel whole we must work for what is important, while also incorporating time to do what brings us joy also.

Hope you enjoyed this general reading for your week!

XO,

Barbara

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Cards used for this week’s general reading: Wisdom of the Oracle and Spirit Animal Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid

Honoring the Summer Solstice on the Lakefront with Whale

Among the sounds of church bells, IndyCars racing around the Road America track, boats humming across the lake, and kids on bikes, I sat on a bench at the lakefront in our small town of 950 people. Summer is here for the most part and alive with many tourists visiting our small legendary village. It’s been a little unseasonably cool. But today it’s in the low 70s, with the wind coming from the east off the big body of Lake Michigan, which sometimes puts a little chill in the air.

Summer Solstice is here. It’s also been seven years today since my dachshund, Frankie – known somewhat famously as the Walk ‘N Roll Dog, passed on.

With this being the longest day of light I love to think of an image of Frankie in my mind of one I had in meditation two years ago. After we met up on the beach and had a lovely connection in my meditation, I watched as she rolled away down the beach as if into the sunset. Not in a hurry, but the epitome of savoring every precious moment.

Always a sweet reminder for me to do the same. So around mid-day, I took my journal and oracle cards and rode my bike down to the lakefront—about two miles from my house— to pick cards in honor of the summer solstice and what it was I needed to know.

One card that comes up often for me in my personal readings is from the Spirit Animal Oracle deck and that of Whale Spirit. Sometimes I sigh in a bit of frustration as the message on the front says, “Trust the Mystery.” Sometimes I just want to know things! This is human nature of course.

But as I sat looking out onto the water, appreciating the slower pace of summer, Whale helped remind me to go with the flow too. Sometimes I feel in this liminal space wondering what’s ahead instead of just being curious and open to life to just unfold.

Yesterday I finished writing the afterword and updated the last round of edits and suggestions from beta readers for my manuscript—my third memoir—I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. It’s now ready to be sent off to the editor. Though I’ve not yet contacted her. I’m giving myself the weekend to simmer and make sure I feel it’s truly ready to go.

When I think back to how writing this book came to be, there were often times I had to be in that trusting of mystery space and how at times I really fought it. But now here I am. The manuscript is complete. In a way, it feels a bit surreal.

So I think about Whale Spirit guiding me now as the summer solstice is upon us and the days will grow shorter once again. 

When I read the guidebook for Whale this passage struck me: “Stay in present moment awareness and allow the Hidden Realms to hold your intentions safely until it is time for them to manifest in the Realm of form.” 

My memoir and all the emotion, time, and effort I put into it is still hidden from many. It will be a while yet before it takes form out in the world for others to read. So I love this reminder that when I feel fear about letting it go out into the world at some point, that my intention for writing it is to help others—and to trust the mystery that I can never truly know the impact it will have—but that it was something I felt called to do and I honored that calling.

Wishing you a Happy Summer Solstice and some time in reflection and contemplation…

XO,

Barbara

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