pet grief

I Witnessed True Love Today

Laverne and Suzie’s first Christmas together

This afternoon I helped a dear sweet lady, Laverne, who is 85 years old, say goodbye to her Dalmatian, Suzie.

I used to belong to a Pet Support Group helping others in their grief when they lose a pet. That is where I met Laverne. At the time, she had just lost her 6th Dalmatian and she needed help getting through her grief. Laverne loves Dalmatian’s and it is the only breed she has ever had.

Laverne came to the meetings each month for the next 3 months and announced at the third meeting that she’d really like another Dalmatian, but didn’t know if she should. She was 80 years old at the time and feared she may not out live another Dalmatian… but oh, how she wanted another one to love.

So the wheels were set in motion and with the help another friend, I was able to find an older Dalmatian for Laverne from Save Our Spots Dalmatian Rescue. They were not 100% sure, but thought Suzie was around 5 years old.

It was one of the best feelings knowing Laverne now had another dog in her life to care for and love. I went to visit her and Suzie a few weeks later to see how they were doing. All was well and happy. We then went on with our lives.

Two days ago Laverne called me to tell me she would be putting Suzie to sleep today. Suzie was not doing well and it was time, she told me. She said, “You were so kind to find Suzie for me and I wonder if you could be there for me when I say goodbye.” I told her I would.

I drove to the vet today thinking about Laverne and all the Dalmatian’s she has loved. I smiled thinking of all the “spots” she will see when she gets to heaven some day. But still my heart ached for her soon to be loss.

When I arrived Laverne was already in the exam room with Suzie and her good friend, Lloyd. She met him three years ago after his wife had passed away. They became friends.

Laverne cried when she saw me and we hugged. She thanked me again for finding Suzie for her and told me how much it meant to her. I said, “You are so welcome, Laverne. Suzie was so lucky to have you.”

I knelt down by Suzie and pet her and thanked her for being so good to Laverne.

Laverne did not want to be in the room when the vet euthanized her, so Lloyd stayed with Suzie. Laverne and I waited in the waiting room.

Laverne shared with me that if it was not for Lloyd it was likely she could not have had Suzie as long because Suzie had been declining in health for quite a few months. It was hard for her to go up steps, so Lloyd helped her get in and out of the house often. She told me how wonderful Lloyd was and how glad she was that he lived with her.

To lighten the mood a bit I said with a slight smile, “Laverne, you mean to tell me you are shacking up with him?”  She laughed.

She talked some more about Suzie as I held her hand and just let her talk. She said she didn’t know how to thank me for getting her Suzie and for being there for her. But I said, “I know how much it means to you, Laverne and I was happy to help you and happy to be here for you today.”

A few moments later Lloyd walked into the waiting area. He held Suzie’s leash and collar in his hands. His face looked so sad. He looked at Laverne and without saying a word they both started to cry and hug each other. Though I felt at such a loss for their pain, I also saw in that moment true love… and it was deeply touching.

I felt better knowing Laverne has Lloyd to help her in her grief as she mourns the loss of Suzie. And what an honor it was to have been a part of Suzie’s new life at the beginning, placing her with Laverne, and now at the end.

Rest in peace sweet Suzie….

Book Giveaway & Magnet Set Giveaway!

NOTE:  Be sure to read through to end of this post to see how you can win a signed copy of Jon Katz’ new book!  Also see how you can win a set of Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog Halloween magnets!

Yup, that’s me in the front row as the director of the WI Humane Society is introduction author Jon Katz (my mom is next to me putting her books under her chair).

A few years ago I was fortunate enough to see Jon in Milwaukee also and sat right in the front row… and I was just as excited to be in the front row once again.

I thought it would be sad when he talked about pet grief, but I actually walked out of the talk feeling lighter and even more grateful for life and death. Jon has a wonderful sense of humor and shared some funny stories with us before touching on the subject of the death of our beloved pets.

One question an audience member asked was if Jon would address the subject of how we tell a child about the death of a pet. I appreciated his answer as he said, “Don’t lie to your child.” He said in his research he talked with many adults who still had resentment towards their parents for not telling them about the death of an animal when they were a child. He talked about making a special photo album with your child of the pet, or perhaps a memorial service to help your child.

He shared with us that each of his dogs have taught him something in his life- something he needed to learn at the time. Tears sprang to my eyes as he said that as I could relate, as I think so many of us can.

One important thing I felt he shared was that no one knows our pets better than we do. Only we can do what we feel is best when a pet is diagnosed with a terminal illness or when it is time to euthanize them. He said so many people feel so much guilt over this, but they shouldn’t. Yes, it is one of the hardest things we have to do, but he said an animal does not fear death, nor do they worry about it. They come into the world when they need to and then leave when it is their time.

He does not feel their is a heaven for pets… but I’m not so sure about that one. Though I understood what he was saying. I want there to be a heaven where our pets are there waiting for us, but do I know that 100% for sure?  No, I don’t. But when I lose a pet, it is what helps get me through my grieving process believing I will see them again some day.

So in honor of all the pets that gone before us I am giving away a copy of Jon’s new book, which is autographed by Jon.

All you have to do to enter is:

Leave a note in the comments section:  “In memory of (and name of your pet)” or “In honor of (and name of your pet). I’ll choose a name at random from all the entries. Drawing will be on Friday, Oct. 14, 2011.

Another giveaway I am doing is through DogTipper.com.  I am giving away a set of Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog Halloween magnets, so be sure to stop over to DogTipper site to enter. That contest runs through Wed. October 19th.

Both giveaways open to the US and Canada only. Magnets and book giveaway will be shipped to winners week of October 23rd.

To Grieve an Animal is Part of Loving Them…

The title of this post was spoken by Marilyn Brooks of Battenkill Bookstore as she talked about her thoughts about Jon Katz’ new book coming out in September, Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die.


It’s so true- to grieve when an animal dies is part of loving them. If we didn’t grieve for them, could we have loved them?  We can’t have one without the other- no matter how hard and painful that grief is.

I’ve had so many people this summer ask me how I will go on without Frankie. I guess now that she has turned 12 recently they see that as limited time together. While this is true, I try not to worry about the “someday.” I had a period last year where I got so caught up in the worrying of “someday” that I was not enjoying each day with her- there came a point where I was completely exhuasted living that way- I don’t want to do that.

 

When I am asked how I will go on without her, I’m not always sure what to say. Most of the time I tell people that yes, it will be very, very hard. Sometimes I tell them I try to focus on the here and now and enjoy each precious moment with her. I know it will be painful and all I will be able to do is just “go through it.” There is no way around it, but through. But most of all I hope in my grief when the day comes, I can find peace and comfort in all the joy and inspiration she brought to this world.

Marilyn Brooker’s Video Review of Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die