self-care

When Life Happens (blog)

 

When Life Happens (blog)
A sign of support from the universe

March began with sub-zero temps here in Wisconsin. The bird feeder hanging outside my writing cottage window awaits refilling.  In just two days the birds emptied it with gusto in an effort to stay warm.
 
But the promise of spring is right around the corner.  I hear the drip, drip, drip of melting icicles and snow, the chattering of many birds, and feel the warmth of the sun streaming in through the windows.

I now have a subtitle for my upcoming book! The title as a reminder is, I’m fine Just the Way I Am,” and the subtitle: Healing Emotional Pain through the Wisdom of Animals and Oracles.
 
As I approached the last chapter of the second draft two weeks ago I thought I’d have it complete by the end of the month.

But life had other plans.
 
In the span of two days, I had a family emergency, then learned of a dear friend’s passing which I posted a tribute to her here, and my dog, Gidget required a visit to the vet for a bladder infection.

This had me on the brink of spiraling down the proverbial rabbit hole.
 
Writing this book has been emotional at times, and with recent life events, I realized I was caught in the perpetual fight/flight mode, and turning toward things that weren’t supporting me, but only can keeping me in a scarcity and fearful state.
 
Fortunately, I surround myself with like-minded mentors, and practices that help ground me.

It was the honest sharing in a newsletter I subscribe to from writer and writing coach, Cynthia Morris, who shared her recent fall down the rabbit hole that stopped me from completely getting sucked into the same vortex.
 
I’m also much more aware of my energy these days. So sooner rather than later, I recognized I was being invited to yet again trust in the flow of life, instead of pushing against it, or getting swallowed up by it.
 
My manuscript could wait. It was more important that I spend time tending to my hurting heart, finding my footing again, and incorporating self-care.
 
The truth is that when I’m in a place of emotional pain, such as the loss of my dear friend, and the unexpected family emergency and feeling helpless for a loved one in pain, it’s not easy to just jump right back into my writing. I have to first be with, and process my emotions.

But I didn’t always do this. Instead I’d often just power through because as a society we don’t always value the importance of being with our feelings and taking a time out.
 
Guilt also tried to rear its ugly head trying to scold me that it was bad I wasn’t working on my book, that I didn’t meet my deadline for getting this post up, and that I also didn’t get my monthly animal message recorded by March 1st (though it’s available now and you can listen here).
 
But I had to be with that space of not wanting to really do anything and just be with what I was feeling. I couldn’t push it, while at the same time, trusted that I’d be back to my writing when I was ready.
 
Something I’ve come to understand more and more is how important our emotional state is. While I do my best to eat healthy, exercise, and take supplements, the emotional component is vital to our feeling whole.

This is something I also write about in my upcoming book, and how I finally got to a point of feeling worthy and that my quality of life matters.
 
So staying in alignment with where my heart needed to be was all that mattered. Everything else needed to wait and would fall into place as it was meant to, and it did. The more I trust this, the more I experience peace.
 
And the more I’m able to share from the truth of my beliefs, the more I hope it helps those that need to hear this same message. Because it truly is a gift to give ourselves the space and love we deserve.

XO,

Barbara

Oracle Cards as Self-care for My Soul

Oracle Cards as Self Care for My Soul
Cards from Wisdom of the Oracle

If you’d like to listen to this post as an audio, I’m beginning an experiment and recording some of my posts. You can listen here.

Life isn’t fair. It’s all I could think about after adopting a special needs dog, Joie, and her passing away ten months later.

I was numb. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t understand. A writer, author, and blogger for over six years, I suddenly had nothing left to say. I was scared and didn’t know what my future would look like.

The truth was I’d been ignoring that voice within that had been urging me to slow down, take a break, and re-evaluate what it was I wanted next for my life. But I ignored it.

Until now. Here I was in this space with the one thing I needed to do, but pushed away for the past two years because I was afraid to look because of fear—fear of the unknown and fear of judgement.

The best thing I could do, and I now know looking back, was to honor that nudge that had been trying desperately to get my attention. And so I dropped everything in my professional life, and took a two month sabbatical. Even though it felt extremely uncomfortable the first two weeks to do what felt like nothing

But with an empty calendar and hours looming before me each day, I made the commitment to journal my thoughts, feelings, challenges, and disappointments in hopes the excavation would reveal my next best step.

It was on the second day of this sacred time that I was guided to pick up a card deck I’d had for quite some time called Grace Cards. While I’d not classify them specifically as an oracle deck, they would introduce me to how there is always a benevolent force of energy guiding us.

Just like many of the dogs in my life have been a reflection for me, guiding me to be my best self, the cards were uncanny in matching my words on the page and what was going on in my inner world as I moved through this time of learning to just be.

It was during this time of transition I’d come to see a deeper meaning to true self-care. While bubble baths, spending time in nature, yoga, and meditation is part of my self-care routine, it was pulling a daily oracle card and journaling with it I was able to move deeper into finding the courage to express what mattered to me.

While I’d write and publish, Wisdom Found in the PauseJoie’s Gift about this inward journey I took in 2013,  I didn’t put any effort into marketing it like I’d done with my previous books. I’d eventually come to realize it was because of fear of judgement that people would think I was wonky for working with oracle cards as a tool for personal growth, as if it wasn’t valid. I’m grateful I now know better!

And it would be over the next few years, and continuing the journey of going inward, working with an animal communicator, a therapist, a pet counselor, and going through Oracle School, I would come to understand how old stories and past wounds I’d carried with me for far too long caused me to repeat patterns with my inner critic leading the way. The one who wanted me to believe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, that others would judge me, and that what I said and believed didn’t matter.

Self-care came to be about owning all my feelings and emotions and then working to integrate them into pearls of wisdom. And that the wisdom I’d gained from those past hurts and old stories were part of what was integral in helping shape me into who I am. Without those experiences I wouldn’t be the person I am. So I could either continue to curse them, or I could learn from them, understand how they influenced my life, and then release them.

This is what true self-care means to me now. It’s about the willingness to continue to be with my feelings and emotions, even those times when it’s uncomfortable and I’d rather resist and push them away. While I’m not perfect at this, I continue to be in awareness of the gift of this new perspective and trust that these are signposts are guiding me to more compassion, love, and understanding of self.

The three cards I purposely chose to go along with my thoughts on true self care are from The Wisdom of the Oracle deck. They speak to how different our lives can be if we open to the truth in our hearts, remember that a higher power has our back, and how we are then granted more blessed moments when we live in this way.

XO,

Barb

Oracle Card as Self Care for My Soul

What I Missed Most Being on Vacation

What I Missed Most Being on Vacation

This past Monday we returned from a ten day trip to South Carolina, North Carolina and Georgia. I’ll write more about that adventure soon which we did in our Vamper – our Chevy Cargo Van converted to a camper. It was quite the whirlwind!

While I took along my journal and oracle cards on the trip and planned to meditate, I never did get around to doing my daily ritual while away. Though honestly, I really did miss it. But with adjusting to being in a van for ten days it just never presented itself in feeling right to take time to do this inner work. And that’s okay, really.

But I was thrilled to return to it Tuesday morning. You know how they say when away from someone you love it makes the heart grow fonder? Well, that’s what I realized about this practice I have in place, and how much I value this time to center and ground myself.

Adapting to getting in and out of the Vamper often I also found that when I returned to my first yoga practice since being gone, along with my journaling and consulting with my oracle cards, how thirsty my body was for the stretching and my mind for the expansion. Just visualize both drinking it all in with gusto!

It felt incredibly good to get back to starting my day in this way. I enjoyed vacation, don’t get me wrong, but it was confirmation for me that being away from these practices is something I truly do value as part of my self-care routine. And this is a good thing. It made it all the sweeter to return.

XO,

Barbara

P.S. While our beds in the vamper are pretty comfy, oh, how I welcomed sinking into my bed at home too. Everyday since, morning and night, I’ve been telling it how much I love it!  🙂