writing life

Tour of my Gardens and Writing Cottage Thanks to My “Pool” Boy

Posted by Barbara Techel
Tour of my Gardens and Writing Cottage Thanks to My "Pool" Boy
berm off deck

I teased John last night asking him what he did with my husband. In case you are new to my blog, John is my husband. For those of you who have been here for awhile, I think you know by now how blessed I consider myself to be with the love of my life almost 40 years now, 34 of which we’ve been married.

We’ve certainly had our ups and downs, but that is bound to happen when you are together this long. Or as we sometimes say as they do in the movie, Christmas Vacation, when things feel challenging or don’t go as planned, “It’s all part of the experience.” 

It was in the mid 90s all weekend. Not exactly the kind of weather you want to dig out new edging for the gardens or spread 10 yards of fresh chocolate mulch. On top of the fact I continue to heal from my sprained back, which meant no helping from me. Though truth be told, I learned that the hard way after doing a small section Saturday (don’t tell my chiropractor! 🙂  ) thinking I was “fine.” The result of my foolishness? Hardly sleeping at all that night! Lesson learned!

I had to accept the fact I couldn’t help, let go of the guilt, and allow my husband John, to do the yard work. I soon discovered that you don’t need a pool to have a pool boy!

east side of writing cottage

It’s funny when one starts out in a relationship, it’s often a physical attraction. But then as the years go by, love shape-shifts into something deeper if you are fortunate enough and stick it out.

John and I live a pretty simple life. That’s the way we like it. He loves his work and I love mine. Coming together at the end of the day to share is most often a highlight of our days. These days, even when times are difficult, we seem to listen more easily and just hold space when one of us is in need instead of rushing in to try and “fix” it.

Growing closer each year we now say that when the time comes our wish is to die together. Though of course that isn’t up to us. But Friday night John surprised me and said that he decided he has to die first. I asked him why, and he said he just couldn’t imagine my going first. It would be too painful and he couldn’t imagine life without me.

It’s interesting that in the beginning of our relationship, I was quite insecure and relied on him in many ways. While he continues to be the bread winner and that would certainly change if something happened to him and I’d likely have to find a part time job, I’ve grown so much stronger in who I am. 

It may sound silly, but there was a day I wouldn’t put gas in my car or have my oil changed or anything considered what the “man of the house” does. Last August I actually did all the wheeling and dealing when we decided to lease a new car. At the beginning of John encouraging me to take on these tasks I’d often resist and complain. But now I’m glad as I do take pride in taking ownership in these things. Should it be he does leave this earth before me, at least I feel a bit more prepared – though I know one is never fully prepared for that day that changes everything.

west side of writing cottage

The landscaping, which we had done three years ago, has pretty much been up to me to maintain. While I know it adds value to our home, I didn’t know if I’d want the upkeep. Though I’m happy to say it now brings me joy and I find it’s nice break from my writing or my day, to stop and walk around them.

John being the owner of his own business, which at times has been stressful, hasn’t always had the energy to help with the yard work. While it’s not as stressful anymore for him since he is on his own without employees now for the past three years, something else has shifted in him this year.

This weekend I sensed a new energy and pride as he worked in the heat making our humble little home and landscape come to life in a new way with it’s fresh coat of mulch. Just as he’d done almost ten years ago when he built me my sweet little writing cottage.

While we continue to also shape-shift in the changing of our bodies and our features with more wrinkles and gray hair, this new shift of depth in our relationship is what makes me fall in love with him over and over again, but in a different way. He may not perhaps be someone’s idea of a pool boy, but to me, he still makes my heart go pidder, padder.

back of writing cottage

As I sat on the deck yesterday watching him finish up the last of the mulch, the cement lion statue caught my eye through the cut out heart on our deck. A design John saw over 25 years ago and brought the idea home to me because he knew I’d love it. He then set out to lovingly build our deck, carefully cutting in each heart at different locations. They still make me smile to this day.

A gentle love certainly does abound here between this contractor and creative writer at our small plot of land here in historic Elkhart Lake. While we never know what the future holds, and I try not to dwell there for too long, it’s sweet times like these that fill my heart with joy and I safely tuck them away for that “someday” should I be the one left.

Signing off now from the smitten all over again, Mrs. Techel!

XO,

Barbara

Come Meet My Writing Muse

Posted by Barbara Techel

Come Meet My Writing Muse

Come meet my writing muse – the Lion. 

Little did I know that Lion would become a writing muse as I began to welcome the idea of writing this new book I’m currently working on.

In January of this year, I had an animal reading done for myself by Ana Maria Vasquez. I was intrigued as she does them based on numerology and date of birth. While I don’t understand exactly how it all works, I’ve been intrigued by how it’s unfolding and applying to my life. I revisit the reading each month as there is a different animal energy for me to observe and pay attention to via the reading Ana Maria did for me.

She began with the animal that came in with me at birth, considered my totem animal, which she shared is Lion. Then each month she shared what animal presented itself that would help guide me this year. I must say, so far, each animal has been in alignment with where I need to focus my energy, and how I can embody more of their teachings.

When Ana began the reading she said that the animals were sharing how this was a happy reunion. She said the animals adore me and were excited to see me, and hangout. How touching that was to hear.

While Lion being my totem animal, Ana shared that Lion energy has also been with me since my 54th birthday last year and will be with me until I turn 55 in July. Lion is also my animal for June, so I’ve definitely been paying attention to how this all fits in with my life right now.

Ana shared that looking at the energy of lion, lion is for me personally about balancing the feminine and masculine. How I’ve achieved a certain level of success to this point, but now this time in my life is about my hearts desires, not playing by the rules of others, and about being in cooperation with more of the feminine aspects of lion. Those aspects being more about being inward, and feeling safe and protected while listening to my heart, before I step back out into the world again.

As I wrote yesterday on my blog, my writing process for this book is to follow my process, and not what other writers do or how the industry may suggest.

It occurred to me as I’ve revisited the reading and Lion as my totem animal, that it’s also in alignment with an animal communication reading I had done with Gidget in early March, done by my friend, Dawn. So much of that reading has helped me with a new awareness as I’ve allowed it to unfold, instead of trying to force an outcome. I’m recognizing that when I try too hard to figure things out that I only retreat further into myself, which only leads me to feeling anxious, frustrated and worried.

A little over two weeks ago I began the search for a lion totem to have on my desk. I found just the one I was looking for in a shop on Etsy called, Journey Back to the Past. A one of a kind as someone with the initials A.J. made it. I knew it was the one as I felt this skip of recognition in my heart. So gentle with just the right balance of sweetness and confidence, I think, reminding me that I too, am one of a kind, and there is no one else like me. Just like you, one of a kind, and something to be proud of and cherish.

Lion encourages me to listen to my heart, be gentle with myself, to not force anything, and to be patient. As for that last  – patience – I do believe just about every animal tries to help us humans with that! 🙂

This morning in silent meditation, I saw in my mind’s eye lion walking confidently across an open field. I admired his sturdy, strong, graceful stride. Not in a rush, but just enjoying and owning his domain. He then let out a gentle roar, and one I felt a message that I too can roar, by sharing my thoughts in my own graceful and expanded understanding as I continue to write this book.

Thank you for reading and sharing in my intrigue of the muse!

XO,

Barbara

After I finished writing this post, The Animal Wisdom Tarot, popped into my mind. I wondered what the Lion card looked like from that deck. I share it here because it sure did make me smile as I saw myself sitting beside that lion in this sweet illustration.

And the message? Be true to self; claim authority.

Lion: Ruler of the Open Heart (Strength) - Animal Wisdom Tarot

On Writing a Book. Question from a Reader. My Insight.

Posted by Barbara Techel

On Writing a Book. Question from a Reader. My Insight.

I often get asked how to write a book. Recently I received this question from reader, Jennie: “I have felt for several years there is a “book” inside of me but I just can’t seem to put it into words.”

So I thought I’d share my insight here to not only hopefully help Jennie, but to help others who face this question too.

I want to first start by saying that I feel there is no right or wrong way. The key, I feel, is to find out what your best practice is for accomplishing a goal such as writing a book.

But let me back up for a moment and share some writing advice I’d heard a few years ago. It resonated with me, so perhaps it will you, too.

It really is quite simple – just begin.  Put your pen or pencil to the paper or your fingers to the keyboard and begin. Everything we do, no matter what it is or whatever art form, you have to just begin, right?  Brush to canvas, hands to clay, one foot in front of the other.

Some other advice I heard at one time is this:  Start with 15-minutes each day. Just write. Don’t edit. Send that critic who will no doubt show up, out for coffee.  And while the critic is heading out, send the perfectionist along with her, too. If you start with 15-minutes each day that roughly equals one page per day. If you did this for 365 days you’d have more than enough for a book at the end of the year. Now, this isn’t something you can publish as is. But this is then where you begin to edit, revise, and hone in on how you want it to take shape. Of course, if you want to accelerate the process you will have to write for more than 15 minutes a day.

That analysis simplified it for me. I realized how often we tend to look at an end result and how huge it can feel, instead of taking that first small step and just beginning.

I’ve found that there is also something to getting into the motion of beginning to write, and then the words will come. While I am definitely one who feels I must be inspired to write, I’ve also come to understand that if I sit my butt down in the chair, even if I have to stare at the blank screen for a while, that eventually I will begin and words will follow one after the other.

I tend toward the side of perfectionist, so this has taken practice for me to know it will not be perfect the first time I sit down to write. Nor will it be perfect the second, third, or fourth time. Nothing will ever be perfect. But if I put my best effort forward, and I continue at that without judgement of myself (which believe me, isn’t always easy!) I find that I’m quite happy that I made the effort. I started. And starting creates this forward movement.

Just the other day I was also talking with an author who just released her first book. We had a great discussion!  She said at the beginning of her writing career she tried to write like how one or another writer writes. Or got hooked into the “10 best ways” to write or the oodles of articles on writing that are out there. I shook my head enthusiastically as she talked as I could so relate!

Like this author, I no longer do that. I follow my own inner impulses and try to stay as tuned into them as possible. Outside distractions are always going to vie for our attention, so you have to know what makes you tick… or not tick, for that matter. And this, my fellow friends wanting to persue writing, is a practice – an ebb and flow – and give and take – a seek and find.

All these insights I’ve shared above have come clearer into view as I finished my manuscript recently for Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift. I had fits and starts. I beat myself up internally for not being where I thought I should be with it at certain times. I wanted to throw the towel in a handful of times. But I kept at it not truly knowing if it would turn into something or not. It took me three years to write it. I didn’t write everyday. But I thought about it an awful lot, though there were times I didn’t want to think about it at all.

And I realize sitting here today that this was my process for this particular book I’ve just finished writing. It wasn’t meant to surface fully until now. There were things I still had to learn and experience that became part of the manuscript that make it feel complete to me now.

So just begin. Be curious about where it will take you. Be gentle with yourself. And most of all….enjoy the ride!

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.