a year by the sea

Embracing Ourselves as Unfinished. It’s a Gift and We Need to Pass it On.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_2044 e“It seems to me that the task of the unfinished woman is to acknowledge her life as a work in progress, allowing each passage, evolution, experience to offer wisdom for her soul.” This passage is from Joan Anderson’s bestselling book, A Year by the Sea.

Joan’s books changed me. They continue to change me. I’ve returned to them again and again. I’m returning to A Year by the Sea once again, beginning today. It’s why I’m writing this post today also, in celebration of Joan’s books having the opportunity to become a motion picture—to inspire and help millions to embrace themselves as unfinished. But she will need our help, so stay tuned to the end of my post and how you can help.

I’ve come to understand more with each passing year, embracing myself as unfinished is a gift. This means there are new opportunities for me to explore and dig further into the soul of who I am. To also truly accept this process is so important too.

While initially, which began in about 2004 for me, this was one of the scariest excavations I’d ever went on, I am so thankful I found the courage to do so. For me, it began with the “ache” of which Joan refers to. I wondered why I was here. What was the reason for my purpose here on earth?

It led me to reaching out to a life coach in 2005. Something I’d never even knew existed until a friend recommended someone she knew who helped people look at these unanswered questions. This is how I found life coach, Diane (now someone I call friend).

The call I made that day is still so clear in my mind. My hands were shaking as I dialed her number. I was scared to look deep into my soul. To know that I had to sit still and listen to the whispers of my heart, because they were getting louder. But the risk to not do so, felt larger to me. I had to take the chance.

I was scared to think about what I might discover. I was scared my marriage might end wondering about the “what if’s.” I was scared that I couldn’t do the inner work that needed to be done.

But that call to Diane changed my life for the better. Shortly after, I discovered Joan’s books which helped me move deeper into understanding the woman that I am, and most importantly, that I was not alone in my feelings.

I’ve also come to really get that we are never finished. We are never complete. This is why we are here. To keep excavating. To continue to awaken each step of the way. To live in awareness of our soul speaking to us. To move deeper inside and capture the true essence of who we are. This is our purpose. Our purpose is not outside of us. It is in us. This is what we must radiate out into the world. This is what makes a difference. This is what gives others permission to do the same.

As I continue working on my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause I am understanding more and more why I had to pause once again when I took my sabbatical last fall. Joie was the gift that helped me see this. In many ways I still consider myself in this pausing and reflecting state as I write the book and live my everyday life.

It didn’t end with my sabbatical. It is a daily journey for me. And I’m often times reminding myself to enjoy the process of being in this inner place of work instead of thinking I have to find a purpose outside of myself. This is my purpose today, tomorrow, and always. Every time I lose my way thinking I should be more and do more, I go back to one of my favorite quotes from Joan in her book, “The Second Journey.”

“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity. I have come full circle yet again. I must be willing to journey forward—spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.”

I truly can’t say enough good about Joan and her willingness to be vulnerable and share her journey with us. But in doing so, she has helped so many women (and men too) accept themselves for who they are. Those inner soul explorers, by doing so, have encouraged others to do the same, whether they know it or not. And those beacons of lights of courage are radiating out into the world with each one of us that find the courage to live from the very soul of who we are.

So here is how you can help Joan’s books become a motion picture in Hollywood!

Stop by her Facebook page, A Year by the Sea and give it a “like.” Then share the page and video with 10 of your friends.

If you’ve not read her books, I’d encourage you to do so. Here is her website and A Year by the Sea website.

 

How My Dog Joie & Joan Anderson’s memoir, “The Second Journey” Taught Me about the Importance of Learning to Pause.

Posted by Barbara Techel

joie 1200I was so exciting to read on Facebook today that one of my favorite authors books is being made into a motion picture. Well, actually, three of Joan Anderson’s memoirs are being rolled into one for the movie, A Year by the Sea which is also the name of her first book.  I’ve read all her books twice, with the exception of The Second Journey which I’ve read three times.

I actually got tears in my eyes when I saw the announcement because Joan’s books mean that much to me. They’ve helped me in countless ways.

I’ll be quoting Joan in my upcoming book, Joie’s Gift: Finding Purpose in the Pause. I actually may end up quoting her more than once, though I’m not that far along in my manuscript to know for sure. But the journal I kept during my sabbatical has many of her quotes that spoke to me during that time. Her books were the one’s I turned to once again seeking answers to my many unanswered questions.

At the time, which was last fall, I felt completely empty and spent after Joie passed away. I just didn’t know where my life was headed. Joan’s memoirs helped me to see once again, that pause’s in ones life are necessary to move forward.

I’ve written about this before, but with this announcement of the movie, it brought it all back for me again and the utterly amazing moment that happened to me a few weeks after Joie died.

Reading from The Second Journey, I came across the following passage which resonated with me deeply, which I read out loud to John and my friend Cassy who were with me at the time:

“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so, the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity.

I have come full circle yet again. I must always be willing to journey forward — spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.” second_journeyI felt lost and no sense of direction as I headed into my sabbatical. Grieving yet for Joie, I also felt restless some days trying to just take this pause in my life, while at the same time wanting answers now. I was also questioning if what seemed like doing nothing was the right thing to do.

After I read that passage, I reached down to take a sip from my drink that was resting on the arm of the Adirondack chair.  Drips of condensation fell from the glass.  When I glanced down, this is what I saw:

water paw print 1200Always one open to signs, there it was right in front of me. I was in complete awe. To me, it was Joie’s affirmation, and her gift to me, that I was exactly right where I needed to be at that time in my life. No question about it what-so-ever.

I’ll be writing more about my sabbatical and what I learned from it in my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause. But I sit here five months later with more clarity than I had then—Joie and Joan were right. Though I don’t always have a definitive path set like I felt I did the days I did with my work with Frankie, I learn more and more to trust that what needs to be revealed will continue to show itself to me.

I also feel a sense of new excitement for my manuscript which I’ve been working on for three months now. Some days I think it’s crap, some days I wonder if there really is a story here, and some days I just want to quit. But for the most part I keep showing up for a date with my laptop to write each day. And today I can’t help but think that hearing about A Year by the Sea in a small way is a message of clarity for me to keep going.  Thanks Joie and Joan— I needed to hear this today.

I really can’t recommend Joan’s books enough. Truly, a must read for every woman!  You can learn more about Joan and her books on her website.

Embrace Change

Posted by Barbara Techel


It is not often that I will re-read a book I’ve already read.  In fact, I think maybe I might have done it once before, but that would be it. For some reason A Walk by the Sea and The Second Journey, both by Joan Anderson called me back to read both of them.  I kept trying to shake the feeling, thinking, na, I read those already.  But it wouldn’t leave my mind, so I “gave in” and read both books in the past two weeks.

When I began delving into searching for what I wanted in life about 5-years ago I ran across Joan’s books.  I remember reading them and never wanting them to end.  Joan set out on a journey to figure out what she wanted, not knowing what it would be or what would happen.  She set out for her cottage on Cape Cod for a whole year to herself… and yes, without her husband. She learned alot about herself that year, and continues to learn.

I’m so glad I went back and read these two books because it reminded me that we can choose a path, and that path may change, and that is okay.  To not be afraid of change.  To embrace it.  I have learned more about change through my dogs than anything, but books like Joan’s help me to read it in words and from another woman’s point of view.  I had been struggling recently with letting go of some things that I felt were not serving my purpose and my mission and trying not to feel guilty as I made those changes. As I finished reading The Second Journey, Joan ended with these thoughts below in her book, which brought it all full circle for me about embracing change once again.  I was especially struck by the line, “Strive to go deeper, rather than forward” as that what seems so appealing to me right now…to go deeper.  And when we let go of what is not serving us any longer, it is fun to watch what we allow to then come in.

Embrace change- knowing that life is always being reconfigured.

Befriend the person you are striving to become.

Welcome new paths.  Enjoy the detours.

Strive to go deeper rather than just forward

Know that most unnecessary demands come from the unfinished parts of self.

Beware of speed.  It is often one’s undoing.

Wholehearted is the way.  Half-hearted will kill you.

Harness your evolvement.    Let god of what is outlived to make room for the unlived.

-Joan Anderson, The Second Journey