carol bryant

“I’m Fine Just the Way I Am” Receives Rio Award from Dog Writers Association of Amercia

Sunday night with a fire in the woodstove, an adult beverage in hand, and John sitting across from me on the sofa, we tuned in on Facebook live to watch as Dog Writers Association of America (DWAA) announced the winners of the 2020 writing competition.

Since 1935 DWAA has been helping writers spread the word about all things dog. What’s not to love about that, right?

Every year they sponsor this competition to recognize the best essays, articles, blogs, websites, photos, and books, plus a new category this year from young writers.

I’m not sure if it was because of Covid and everyone had more time to write plus the fact many were home more with their pets, but the host, Carol Bryant shared that this year they received many more entries than usual.

I was honored when I received notice late last year that I was a nominee in two categories for my latest memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am:

Regular Category

Human/Animal Bond

Special Award Category

Rio Award – profiles a dog who changed someone’s life in a profoundly positive way sponsored by award-winning journalist, Jen Reeder and her husband, Bryan Fryklund in honor of their beloved Labrador retriever mix, Rio.

No matter what, I was honored to have been placed among the nominees. Though secret be told, my heart was really drawn to the Rio Award – I could just feel something deep and special about it and though I don’t know Jen and Bryan or their story with Rio, it just felt right at home in my heart and the impact dogs have had on my life.

So yes, truth be told, I was thinking how lovely it would be to win the Rio award. And just before they announced the winner of the award, my heart began to flutter, and when they announced my name, yup, I got very emotional and teary-eyed. I’m not ashamed to admit to that!  🙂

Writing I’m Fine Just the Way I Am was one of the hardest books I’d written to date in regards to sharing the shame I’d carried for most of my life that repeated often in my life in different circumstances. But it was Gidget, my dear, sweet, and wise Buddha dog who so lovingly walked beside me to help me heal.

And so it was beautiful to be recognized in this way.

After my name was announced I jumped up from my chair, ran to what I call my ‘wall of love’ with photos of all the dogs I’ve had to date in my life and photos of John and myself. I grabbed the photo of Gidget and said, “We did, Gidget! We did it!” and I kissed the photo of her.

The next morning lying in bed, I took a moment to connect with Gidget and thank her once again for all she was (and still is!) to me. In my heart, I saw myself rubbing her belly, and kissing the side of her face, both of which I could never get enough of doing when she was here on the physical plane.

A big congratulations to all the nominees and winners – and in the end – I’d say without a doubt in my mind that we are all winners for the opportunity to have the love of animals in our lives. 

XO

Barb

Referring to Ourselves as Dog Moms. A Label that Can Evoke Many Feelings.

me and g in thought eI came across a very interesting article today titled: “Why Do Dog People Get Pissed at Dog Moms?” by Carol Bryant.

I think she made some very good points. But one thing I struggle with is when we call our pets, kids. Carol stated in her article that “dogs are the new kids.” Each of us is entitled to our opinion and I certainly mean no disrespect for what others feel, as we all have that right. My response to this article are just my thoughts I wish to express.

While I deeply love my dogs and they are a huge part of my life, I don’t see them as children. I think it’s important to make the distinction. While at the same time, I feel we get hung up on labels. But that is how we identify, people, places and things by a label, so others know what we are talking about.

Do I call myself mom to my dogs? Yup, I do. Because in one aspect it sounds much nicer than guardian or owner. I also like the warm feelings it evokes. I don’t own them either. I look out for their well being and do the very best I can to help them live a happy life.

The word mom can mean so many different things whether you care for children or you care for animals or pets. I think for me as I think about this article and the title mom, it comes down to love. I love my dogs. People love their kids. Other people may love their donkey or chickens.

I enjoy nurturing and caring for my dogs, just like many mom’s do their children or other people in their lives such as spouses, parents, friends, or whoever it is that they care about.

Carol stated in her article that she has heard the statement “that if you didn’t give birth, you aren’t a mom.” I agree with what she said and that just because you give birth does not make you a mom. Carol wrote, “People adopt. I choose to spend my life with dogs, not children. It isn’t politically correct nor socially acceptable to question an adoptive human parent, so why question a dog mom? In many cases, the whole concept of pet parenting is that pets have replaced children for many of us. Some of us wait longer to be married, have fewer children, and prefer to dote upon the four-legged variety instead of the two-legged species.”

Maybe others out there purposely chose to have pets instead of kids, but I can’t say I thought of it in these terms. While I know I didn’t want children, and I know I love caring for dogs, I don’t see them as a replacement for kids. I just happen to enjoy having dogs in my life for many reasons. I love to take care of them, I love having them at my side and I truly enjoy being open to the lessons they teach me, that only dogs can do. My life would look very, very different if not for the dogs I’ve had to date, and Kylie and Gidget that I have now.

Another issue Carol pointed out in her article is that in the eyes of the law, animals are viewed as property. “If someone harms your dog, they have essentially damaged your property. This makes you a property owner. Pretty unsentimental and demoralizing, isn’t it?”

It upsets me to think they are viewed as property and again, even though I don’t see them as children (which in my view would make them human, which they aren’t) they are living, breathing, spiritual beings who deserve kindness, compassion and love. If we took away the word property perhaps we would have less abuse of innocent animals. But then again, maybe not, as there are vast reasons why this occurs.

Lastly Carol shared that she attended the Global Pet Expo in 2013 when the President of the American Pet Products Association said, “I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say pet humanization is evident in every category of the marketplace.”

What bothers me about that is that it isn’t our pets that are being marketed to, it is us, as humans. Pets don’t get to decide what beds they want (or don’t want), toys, food, etc. We, as humans, have to make those choices and hope that we are doing our very best for them. The pet market is a huge industry and I think in part because so many of us have humanized them to the detriment sometimes of the animal.

The article sited that science is on our side when it comes to humanizing our pets with a non-profit and research organization called Human Animal-Bond Research Initiative. According to their website they:  research and education organization that is gathering, funding and sharing the scientific research that demonstrates the positive health impacts of animals on people. The growing body of scientific evidence that proves the specific health benefits of the human animal bond can be used by everyone – from doctors to policymakers – to make informed decisions that improve both human and animal health. 

I agree 100% with the positive impact animals have on people, as well as, the positive impact we have on animals in the world. The human-animal bond is a beautiful thing. It’s why I started my blog, and writing about animals. To share that unique and special relationship. It’s why I did therapy dog work with Frankie, which was rewarding in so many ways. I grew by leaps and bounds from what I learned through those experiences. My life is enriched in so many ways because of my love for animals.

So it comes down for me that yes, I call myself mom to my dogs. I don’t really care if someone takes issue with that word. I know I love them and they bring me so much joy. That is all that matters. While I don’t see them as kids, I respect if others do. It is just my hope that we aren’t trying to make dogs (or animals) something that they are not. We still need them to be just what they are, which is dogs, just as we want to be who we are.

Carol’s question at the end of the article is asking her readers if the title dog mom/dad should be reserved for humans only. I don’t think so at all. I’m proud to love and nurture my dogs and feel blessed that I can have them in my life.