coaching

I Am An Unfinished Woman.

woman-960x565Today I am quite honored to be a guest blogger on The Gift of Writing blog which is one of my favorite sites for weekly inspiration!

It starts like this…

I am unfinished.

Understanding this at its core continues to come in waves for me. It’s an awareness I now carry with me every day of my life. I am a work in progress. There are many layers to who I am and I will never be complete.

Feeling an unexplainable void in my early 40s and caring for my chocolate Lab who was terminally ill with bone cancer, I found myself questioning my purpose. Why was I here? I also seemed to have lost the joy in my life that used to come so easily to me.

It’s not easy asking for help. Come on over to read the rest!

The Effect of a Life Coach on a Marriage

barb and john july 2013 1200In 2005 I hired a life coach to help me answer some questions that I couldn’t seem to answer on my own. I was happy with my life with my husband, John, but felt like there was something missing for me.  The question, “What does Barb want?” kept running through my mind. What was it I wanted that would make me feel fulfilled on a personal level?

Until yesterday, I never knew that when I decided to hire a life coach, John was afraid of what that might mean for our marriage.  In being a mentor for our young friend, Cassy, who is going through a divorce, as well as making some other big decisions she is tackling, we have had some deep discussions. I didn’t realize that John was afraid he might lose me when I announced I wanted to work with a life coach years ago.

It never occurred to me that my wanting to do some soul searching felt scary and uneasy for him. What if I decided I was unhappy in our marriage and wanted to pursue other avenues?  It never crossed my mind at the time because it was the furthest thing from my mind. I loved him.

The amazing thing about John of which I am so blessed to call him my partner, friend and husband, is that he supported my decision one hundred percent. He wanted me to feel fulfilled and happy. Now knowing how he felt then, he risked his heart and kept his worries to himself. I’ve always felt so incredibly lucky to be married to him, but knowing this now, makes me love him all the more.

While I can’t guarantee everyone who hires a life coach that it will have a positive effect on their marriage, I am confident in saying that working with a coach was one of the best decisions I did for my own well being–which in turn benefited my marriage in ways I never imagined or even realized until today.

Time and Money: We Never Have Enough. Or Do We?

kylie and joie snuggling on pillow

Before my post today, just want to mention that today on my Joyful Paws Jaunt Blog Tour I am featured on Kim Gifford’s Pugs and Pics blog with an audio interview. Grab your favorite beverage and sit a spell– and I hope it inspires you!

Yesterday on my Facebook wall I asked this question: “What’s the one thing that stops you from doing something that would bring you joy?”  The common responses were time and money.

I don’t know what it is exactly that others want to do in regards to bringing more joy into their lives, but I find the answers intriguing. Maybe they were looking at the question in too big of terms. Maybe I should have been more specific. But none-the-less the answers are nothing new. We hear them all the time, as well as we each face them.

Isn’t time all we have? While at the same time we don’t know how much time we really do have. We could be gone tomorrow. Just like that. Poof. Gone. Then what of that joy we were always seeking?

I guess for me it just makes me think about taking little steps towards those things that bring us joy. Does it have to be so big? What if all the little steps of joy added up to living with even more joy?

We will likely never have enough money. Let’s face it. But what if we could make do with what we have and still have joy?  What would that look like to you?

To me, it is moments of time with my dogs, my dear friends, my family, my Johnnie.  Most of this does not require money. It requires time. And while I have much to do in my everyday life with promoting my books and my mission, besides all the normal day-to day things, I find that if I can fit in moments of quality time with what brings me joy, more joy comes to me.

The other thing it made me think of is when I decided to take three months to hunker down, hire a life coach, and dive into what my soul was trying to tell me. Yes, that required money, and it was money we really didn’t have at the time to spend. But I wanted this so bad that I gave up other “things” to make this happen. Again, I realize not everyone may be able to do this in terms of money, as their situation may be completely different than mine.  But I also think often times it is just a mask. A mask to doubt and fear of uncovering things that may be scary.

We may never have enough time or money. Or do we?  What if we just started today and did one small thing that brought us joy? So just for today find one small thing that does not require a lot of money or time, and just do it.  My moment of joy today is going to be sitting for five minutes with Joie and Kylie, and hugging them tight.  What is yours going to be?