And here is a flashback photo of John and I!

John and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage in November. In January of 2015 we will have known each other for 36 years. We are, but aren’t, the same people when we first met.

So this is where I am going to pat ourselves on the back. Not many these days can say they’ve been married this long. It takes work. Hard work. Trying work. But work that can provide so many rewards.

I don’t recall when John and I decided to do our once a week date nights. I do remember though that for about a year around 2009 or 2010 when the economy was really bad, we stopped going out for our once a week date nights. Like many, we had to hunker down and be very conservative.

While it wasn’t quite the same, we did find ways to make at home date nights a bit more special with playing a game or cooking an extra nice dinner. We’d say that if we could make it through those times, we could make it through anything.

Date nights, to me, seem even more important when we are both busy. Though we both work from home, when we are in “work mode” we respect that about each other and try not to get in each others way.

John’s construction schedule is full. His crew is limited right now to him and one full time guy. It’s hard to find anyone who wants to work — and many small construction businesses seem to be in the same boat. But we are thankful for the work.

I’m busy preparing for my 3-part self-publishing workshop I begin teaching next week. It’s required much more than I anticipated, but I’m looking forward to helping others who want to get a book out into the world.

By the end of the day, we are both tired. This can make for less patience and we don’t always communicate as well. But date night always changes that.

Last night, with a crisp and brisk northeast wind we headed out to a favorite restaurant – cozy and warm with big windows to watch the trees blowing in the wind.

Something about sitting side-by-side, each on a cushy bar stool, an adult beverage in hand, we share what’s going on in our inner worlds. We talk. We connect. We grow.

It always centers me. It always makes me appreciate once again what I have in my relationship with John. The man I married almost 30 years ago. I could have never predicted the journey…but I give thanks for how we have both learned to ebb and flow with each other.

This growing together, and on our own –to be who we need to be — to be accepted — to be understood…. this the work…and love….love of 30 years is the reward.