memoir

The Heart Knows

Posted by Barbara Techel

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me with cards sent, via email or Facebook and your kind and sweet support and the loss of Gidget. Just as the heart trepidly walks with grief, sometimes receiving an outpouring of love and support can feel overwhelming too. But I realized a lesson in this and that I must simply take in what I can at the moment and return again when I feel called to.

I want to share this special double heart memorial marker with you. It’s in my garden outside my writing cottage. When I open the blinds in my bedroom each morning and when I sit at my writing desk I can see it.

Some of you may remember that two years ago I scattered the ashes of my two previous doxie’s Frankie and Joie around my writing cottage. Gidget now rests here too.

On Mother’s Day morning I walked out to my garden to be with her. I felt called to gather some rocks and form the shape of a heart in honor of my love for her. Just as I placed the last rock at the bottom of the heart, a small rock off to the side caught my eye. It was in the shape of a heart.

I smiled through my tears. Little Gidget already sending me a sign of love right back to me… and so I placed her heart within mine. Though honestly, I feel like the big heart is more representative of her.

There are many ways in which one nurtures and for a good part of my life, I’ve struggled with why I never felt called to have children of my own.

The core reason why has been revealing itself to me since 2015 and stems from a personal childhood wounding. A week before Mother’s Day and the passing of Gidget, it was like another window to my soul opened and I deeply felt the truth of why and I had to be with all I was feeling.  

As many of you also know, I’ve been working on my third memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. This book will share that journey of facing that inner core wound and working my way through it. At the heart of it was my dear Gidget guiding me and holding the most loving space for me.

For the most part, the writing of the book is done. I’ve received feedback from three beta readers which I’ll use to tweak the manuscript. I also realized two days ago that there will be an afterword. I’m not quite ready to write that yet as I need to give myself time to process the loss of Gidget.

But I do know and understand now that if I’d had children I’d not experienced what I have in my life and for that I’m grateful. And I know that this was the path I was meant to walk.

I also remember how I was feeling trepidation about sharing the news of Gidget’s passing as I didn’t want other’s who cared for her to feel sad. But just like I shared the joy of her, the grief must come with it too. Grief is something we all have in common – none of us escape it.

Then just this morning I received this note from a wise friend:

Not only are you feeling your sweet friend but you are assisting others to feel and release their grief. And that is what a catalyst does. Part of your work here is to help others with theirs. It’s not always easy, as you very well know, but it is your path.

I deeply felt the truth of this.

And so with Gidget’s heart a part of mine always, I journey on…

XO,

Barbara

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Robin Had a Message for Me About the Writing Process

Posted by Barbara Techel

I spied this Robin gathering materials for her nest outside my bedroom window this morning. How exciting to see new life is in progress!

With her mouth full of materials, I watched as she flew to the dwarf lilac tree, hopped carefully through the tight-knit branches and added to her creation of what will soon be her home sweet home. What a perfect tree for her to build her nest where she will raise her first brood. It faces the east and gets lots of morning sunshine. Not to mention the bonus for me as I can see it from my bedroom window and my writing cottage window.

I couldn’t help but think how I’m nesting just like the Robin. No, I’m not expecting. Well, in a way, I guess you could say I am.

Late last week I received feedback from one of my beta readers for my upcoming memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am. To me, writing a book is like different stages of life. From starting with the idea to writing the draft, to reworking it until it feels right to send out to beta readers, to reworking it again, then sending it off to the editor, and reworking yet again, and then finally… off to the printers! But it doesn’t’ end there.

As I watched the Robin gathering materials, adding them to what will soon be a completed nest, which will soon be filled with eggs, to her sitting on her eggs until they hatch, and eventually her baby birds who will fly off into the world on their own.

I realized writing this book the importance of the nesting stage has been for me. I’ve been preparing myself emotionally along with news things I always seem to learn about the writing process, to eventually sending my book out into the world.

I really don’t know where it will land, but yet I trust that it will.

And speaking of my book….back to the nest I must go and give new life to the text that needs reworking!

XO,

Barbara

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Honoring the Memory of Joie and the Gift of the Importance of Pausing. Special Price on E-book.

Posted by Barbara Techel

This photo popped up as a memory on my Facebook timeline today. Little Joie, such a sweet, sweet soul. Her time with me short, but that didn’t matter to my heart, as I loved her so much.

It took me quite some time to understand why she had to move on so quickly after coming to live with me. In her leaving, I learned to appreciate and honor the importance of pausing during uncertain times in our life, and how important it is to pause each day, too. To step back, to reflect, to ponder, to be, to really see what is directly in front of me, and most importantly, what is within me.

That inner world we tend to push aside thinking the push and forcing is what will get us ahead in life. That call to take time to re-evaluate our path, though fear can often try and steer us away from taking time to be in the stillness and really listen for the answers.

But time and time again, I’m reminded how vital it is to our well-being to pause and connect with what really matters at each step along the way of life.

A part of me has regret for not fully and truly honoring the gift that Joie left me with. While I wrote about that journey in my second memoir, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift, for the most part, I kept it quiet that I had published and released this book in early 2017. It was because of fear of judgement and that others wouldn’t understand my need to let go of an identity and move into who I am today.

So in honor of Joie and the lovely reminder of her gift that showed up today as a memory, I’m offering the ebook version of Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift for $1.99 through Sunday, October 14th. I’m providing it as a PDF so you can download to your Kindle, computer, phone or anywhere you read content digitally.

Just click here to purchase or on book cover, and enjoy the pause in reading and how it can open your world to a new perspective and understanding. And feel free to share the purchase link with anyone else who you think would enjoy.

XO,

Barb